THINGS AND THOUGHTS.

Otago Witness, Issue 2674, 14 June 1905, Page 76

THINGS AND THOUGHTS.

By John Chkistih. A TRAMCAR IDYL.

It was a holiday, and they were travelling together on the top of a traomcar — she to a garden party at a small town near the sea, he with a book to a bosky hillside not far from^the same classic village. In various ways they had seen much of each other, and were pleased enough to be sitting side by side in the 10 o'clock freshness of a cloudless day. Yet they spoke little — that is, with their lips, though there was considerable intercourse between their hearts and heads — especially their heads. He : " Pleasant morning."

She : "Just lovely. But isn't he '

He : '"A pig. You mean the thing on the rigdit, with a pipe in its mouth. If you do, I cannot agre with you. No pig would be so ill-conditioned as to smoke on any public conveyance, or in any public place, where other creatures who do not smoke are or have a right to be. That is a social refinement possible only with the lineal descendants of Swift's Yahoos."

She : " Yet you see well-dressed men indulging in the practice in the public streets, at railway stations, and on the cars."

He: 'They may be well dressed, but they are not men — far less gentlemen ; ttbey are merely Yahoos who masquerade in men's clothes."

She: "It is hard on the men, isn't it?"

He : Then let them be hard on the Yahoos till even they become men: Shall I tell this cad that, though both you and I both smoke and chew at lnome', we prefer the fresh air to tobacco reek this morning ; or shall I drop him over the side of the car or call the guard?"

She : "For goodness sake do nothing so utterly wild and foolish."

He : "Just like a woman — conservative in everything except hats and sweethearts. You complain of this, that, or the other thing, but object to reform."

She : "Yes, of course, sometimes ; but there are other ways."

He: "Theoi why don't you head a movement to have all streets, highways, and byways placarded with intimations that certain creatures known as Yahoos are at

large in the land, and may be known by certain practices, such as smoking, spitting, and being generally objectionable on railway stations, cars, coaches, omnibuses, in all public places, and at all public gatherings ; observing, further, that as their manners are so vile their natures must be abominable, whence all civilised persons should be on their guard against them, in view of the likelihood of still more villinous outrages at the hands of such socially depraved and mentally deficient creatures."

She : "You have a book, I see."

He: "Yes." , M . She: "Alan Amberley is to be at the garden party. Don't you wish you were going?" He. "Not in the least." She: "If I weren't going you would, 1 suppose." He: '"Perhaps; perhaps not. She: "Why are you so disagreeable: He: "Amberley is very likely made of more malleable metal. Perhaps you will be able to mould him into some serviceable garden implement or kitchen utensil.' She : "You needn't be unkind ; he is really very nice, and — so clever, too." He: "Yes. So clever, too, so penetrating with such power of vision, that he has actually, within the last six months, discovered that you are beautiful, though all the world has known it these 10 years — ever since you were 15." She: "Do you know I hate yo u He: "I am not surprised at that." She: "Not surprised. But don't you take it as a compliment?" He: "That is another matter." She : "But why are you not surprised .' He: "Well, nothing is so natural to woman as ungratefulness except, in some cases, a pretty face." She: "Indeed. Why should I be ungrateful? You have never done very much for me, have you?" He : "No ; nothing worth mentioning. Only helped you, I think, to find the most beautiful thing in the universe." She: "And, pray, what may that be: He: "Your own soul."

She:' "We 'shall soon reach Boroughmere." He: "Yes. I hope you'll have a pleasant time." ' She : "Thank you. Your book : a good novel, is it?" . He: "Better than all the novels in existence, barring some two dozen masterpieces for the whole course of human history Why do you women read so much of the literary slish-slush that appeals to ttae Sloppier emotions and the nioo^ ie r sentiments? When we get back shall 1 send along my 'Englished Horace ? Read it and you will be able to reconstruct tor yourself the whole fabric of Roman society in the time of Augustus. Then there is Dean Ramsay's ' Reminiscences of bcottisn Life and Character'— that will enable you to do the same with Scotland in the eighteenth- century ; and here am I m the highway of the same stimulating intellectual recreation with respect to the Maoris, the finest and most interesting uncivilised people that ever lived, through the medium of Edward Tregear's scholarly masterpiece, 'The Maori Race.' Really, you must read it." jt She : "If you wish me, I will try to. He : "It won't be a trial, I assure you, but a positive pleasxire. But here's Boroughmere." She: "Yes. Of course you werent asked to the party? Good-bye " He: 'Of course not. Good-bye. Be happy, and you will be good ; you cannot belp being beautiful. Nature made you so in one of her happiest moments ; but, you know, we partly make and wholly keep our own souls, and as yours is as sweet as your face, that is where your credit comes in. Good-bye." Well (as he climbs the hill alone), I am the most all-fixed, fool that now crawls between heaven and earth. She is' only 25, and I shall never see my fortyfifth birthday. Besides, having been so long a bachelor, it is hardly worth while now to become anything else, even if a woman I liked were so foolish or so benevolent as to like me ; and what woman would be fool enough to be charitable at the expense of her own happiness, which — though she may think little of that — may also be essential to the happiness of unborn generations. What an excuse for seeming selfishness in that invincible sex. Come, comrade, my book— be a friend indeed, and help me forget my foolishness up here among these bosky manukas.

A KNOT IN THE EYE.

Sometimes when you meet the gaze of certain people there" is a blink or click of light in the centra of the eye, as though two subtle elements snapt together in a knot. What does this indicate? Extreme antagonism in the encountering natures — at least, in that of the person who owns the strangely- affected eye. Is it a survival of the iwtenbity of look that must have been common when fierce, primitive men of contending tribes unexpectedly met each other? In such a case there -would no doubt be a sudden rush of hatred and apprehension to the eyes — something like tho clash of fvno opposing points of electricity. Is it of this that the blinky, sinister knot of light still to be seen in somo eyes is a relique and reminder?

PUNISHMENT IN SCHOOLS.

It is necessary in the government of schools, as -well as in the government of countries^ to Lave means for adequately dealing with lawless or reckless characters. This necessity surely settles the question of corporal pimLshinent, and also, in effect, defines the limits of its application. The right to inflict such punishment can bs recognised orrly as a means to keep the unruly in check ; yet though it is justified only for that purpose, it is sufficiently justified by it. With respect to girls, other means may be found, such as exclusion, from class ci' expulsion from

school; but experience teaches that effec* tive punishment in their case is just aa necessary as it is in that, of boys. Without it the very worst girls cannot be dealt with in the way that is best for them and the schools of which they are members. Recognised methods of punishment are, therefore, just as necessary in a school as fixed penalties are in a commonwealth ; otherwise there vrill be no effective check, in either the one or tha other, on wilful, lawless, or evil natures.

NATURE'S JUSTICIAE.Y.

In the street, or on the country roady 3'ou see two old men, wl'io happen to> be travelling in different directions. Both are white-haired; 'one is straight, the other walks with a stoop. Perhaps you think that, in so far as the infirmities of age permit, they lead pure, serene lives, with hearts pervaded with a sweet evening quietude. As a matter of fact, they are still piteous victims to what has beeD,with each, his ruling passion. One plans ar.d plots and plots and plans about money which he no longer needs and can never use. and never tries to lead his soul or to let it go to (juiet, loving outlooks on this world or towards the next. His chief pleasure is to encourage sordid care to eat up t!he little remnant of his life. But his brother in years has an infirmity worse than years, and worse even than miserliness. "With tho Celtic poet he might well say, "Fallen is my pride among women." But impulses that are his bane by dayi and the horror of his dreams by night troublo his blood like wounded worms ; yet they are worms that die not. It is pitiful, but Nature will square her accounts even in this world. See, therefore, what a beneficent and beautifying thing death is : just imagine such human creatures living for ever ! Better still, reflect what it is that men have the power of doing with their own lives. As Goethe says, we may do whatever we like, but we must pay for it. It is plain that the price is too often ruinous to the soul. Observe, reflect, and reason, and you will see that the profound Christian axiom, that as we sow we reap — of which Goeth&'s saying is merely a modern version — owes nothing to vague transcende/ntalism, but is a scientific statement of an eternal T aw of Nature. Become by falsehood, folly, or iniquity a debtor to morality, and so continue; and in some form or other yoxi will find yourself within the jurisdiction of Nature's own spirit of rectifying righteousness, and. shall in no wise be released until you have paid tho uttermost farthing. In this the Gospel of Christ and the law of Nature are one, have always been so, and shall be so far ever, so long as men have either bodies or souls. So God is never mocked — the righteous judge !