Some Dyspeptic Philosophy.

Otago Witness, Issue 2672, 31 May 1905, Page 78

Some Dyspeptic Philosophy.

Many an actor who has played the Fir=t Gravedigger in "Hamlet" couldn't get a job digging a sewer. Every man at some. time in his life has told some woman that he wasn't worthy of her. Every man who succeeds in keeping out of gaol isn't going to heaven. The fellow who keeps his troubles to himself has learned the secret of popularity. Good intentions are too often too good to be true. It is mere contrast that makes a lot of men seem great. Adam was the first man to dispense with the services of a mother-in-law. Some fellows waste all their strength patting themselves on the back. Don't try to beat a bad egg. We always like our friends to bo perfectly frank—about other people. The girl with holes in her stocking doesn't care a darn about how she 'ooks. Lots of people rise in the world by the sky-rocket route.

Virtue and honesty are twina Each is its own reward.

The philosopher is merely a man who disguises his dyspepsia with, the cloak of wisdom.

A woman can make a. fool of a. man •wh«never he wants her to.

It isn't until a man attends his own wedding that he realises how insignificant he really ia. Of course, a malPs home is his castle, hue he needn't get up in the air about it.

The course of true love may not run smooth, but life at best is full of bumps. Some men are so fond of sympathy that they actually glory in being- the under dog.

One must occasionally be miserable to appreciate happiness. Lots of men <ret stoop-shotildered from carrying their self-conceit.