Waiter Stories.

Otago Witness, Issue 2666, 19 April 1905, Page 82

Waiter Stories.

Stories about the eccentricities and occasional cleverness of the waiter are plentiful ei-ough, as readers of Punch and other refers are awaa-e. One of the best of these may bs retold. Two friends had been sep<tr rpted by eircum stances for se% T eral years, and at last met in a restaurant, the one as a cus'omer, the other as a waiter. Recognition was instant and mutual. "Hullo, Rtow.il," said the prosperous man, "you don't mean to say yoa have conn* to this? " "Yes," answered the other with a grim sn ile, as he smoothed the table-cloth ; "but at &nyrate I don't lunch here.'' This was t>n instance of repartee by a man who had sco better days, but the waiter born n:d bred not seldom manages with a quiet vord to discomfort his social superior.

Some years ago, at a certain club, there was p.u old waiter whese long and honourable service had earned for him the affectionate- title of "The Dean." Long acquaintance and a certain dry humour had given him an unusual degree of privilege in speech, and those who attempted to ridicule' him sometimes came off second be^t. One member tells a story which illustrates the old man's humour well enough. On leaving the club one day this member, in gratitude for special services rendered, slipped half a crown into the waiter's hand. " 1 know it's against the rules," he said, ajaologetically, " but you've looked after me very well lately, and if you don't object.

. " The Dean eyed the coin thoughtfully for a moment, as if ponderin© the ethics of the proposal, and then, turning a benignant eye tipon his embarrassed fellowman, sai J, " Weli, sir, just to oblige you, sir ! "

It was this same waiter who once sent the smoking room into helpless laughter by a delightfully ingsiiUD"is remark at the expense of his questioner. A handkerchief had been lost, and he had been asked to Look for it. "Was it a striped one, sir?" ho ' inquire-J. "Yes," was the answer, and oway he we.it in search of it. Soon he came back with a candid smile on his face f>nd the missing 1 handkerchief on a salver. " Here it is, sir," he sail, handing it to it-s owner, and adding m a whisper loud ci ough io be distiactly heard, by everybody, "I thought ifc was a duster!"

It is s^ill a matter of debate in that club whether "The Dean" intended his remirk to be sarcastic or simply explanatory. — Globe.