ODDS AND ENDS.

Otago Witness, Issue 2651, 4 January 1905, Page 79

ODDS AND ENDS.

Wife: "Dear me, John! What's the baby doing with that paint box?" Artist ' Husband .(taking it ■ from the baby) : " Jusfc trying to mix the colours on his palate, my love." "Remember,"" said the school teacher, ".that no man ever left this earth and returned." "There was one," spoke up the small boy in. the red -cap. "Who was he?" "Santos Dumo'nt." Inspector: "What do you see above your head when ,you are in the open air?" Scholar: "The sky." Inspector: "And what do you see when rain- is falling?" Scholar: "My umbrella." "What's the matter, little boy?" said the kind-hearted man; "are you lost?" "No," was the- manful answer; "I ain't lost, I'm

here. But I want to know where father and mother have gone off to." Johnnie: "Mamma, teacher said knowledge was power." Mamma : " A,nd it is, my child." Johnnie: "No, mamma, it isn't. I know there- is pie in the pantry, but I ain't got power to get it." Henry returned in triumph from an examination. " How did you get along, my son?" his doting parent inquired. "Firstrate," answered Henry ; " I answered atJ the questions." " Good ! How did you answer them?"' "I said I didn't know.' Teacher: " Now, I want all the children to look at Tommy's hands and observe how clean they are, and see if all of you cannot come to school with cleaner hands. Tommy, perhaps, will tell us how he keeps them so nice." Tommy: "Yes'm; ma makes me wash the breakfast things every morning." Little Girl : "If I was a teacher I'd make everybody behave." Auntie: '"How could you accomplish that?" Little Girl: "Very easy. When girls was bad I'd -tell them they didn't look pretty; and when little boys was bad I'd make them sit with the girls, and when big boys was bad I wouldn't let them sit with the girls." A member of -a ' Sunrtaj' school was one day asking some children questions 0n,.. Bible knowledge. So far as he had gone the children did very well, but when asked': " Where does the word ' holy ' first occur in^the Bible?" the children could not- answer * for a minute or- so, till a sharp urchin* stood,up and said : " Please, sir. on the cove?;." A class of , schoolchildren were being prepared to perform the tragedy- "Who Killed** Cock Robin!'" at a school entertainment- * The boy who impersonated Ccck Robin was - taught to fall on the floor at a given point. But on the eventful day, when the moment arrived, he did not fall. The verse was repeated, but again he did not fall. Being asked his reason, he replied: "My mother-.-said I wasn't to fall, for I've got on my - Sunday clothes.'" " j Teacher" (giving an object lesson on a ' watch) : " Why would my watch stop ,if I dropped it en the floor? Well. Tommy?" ''Please, miss, it would have to, 'cause ifc * couldn't go through." Later on. she" talked' of the daily winding of the watch, arid contrasted it with the eight-day clock, and added that she bad. heard of a clock which would go a month without " -winding. "Please, -.miss," .asked a little lad, evidently interested,, "how .long would it go if if '• "WAS wound up?" " j