His Utility.

Otago Witness, Issue 2650, 28 December 1904, Page 79

His Utility.

'"I don't like to say anything about it, j E^au, 'cuz, of course, you know your own j tmsiness better than I can t-eil it to you," | said honest old' Farmer Tootwiler half I apologetically, as he hooked his elbows over ! the gate ; "but seems to me that — well, i your nephew, out there in the cornfield, gestic-kylatin', as I s'pose you'd call it, and holerin' in them solemn tones, makin' them faces, and stridin' up and down that way; ' to be sure, you know best, but it seems '■ as if it might do some good if you'd send him away somewhere — to the Retreat, say. He might never git just right, perhaps, but mebby he'd become useful, and— er " "He's fully as use.ful now, I guess, as hell ever be, Eli," replied equally as old and < fully as hoii3st Farmer Bentover. "He's ; considerably improved, in fact, from what he was when he graduated from the academy. For a spell he didn't do anything j more laborious thai just set around and j look soulful and superior and grow hair j and theories; but now he's decided to ! become an actor, and 'most every day he J gees out into the field where he won't be disturbed. and does up Shakespeare. Shakespeare is dead, and don't mind it, ! and my . young relative keeps the-- crows- 1 away beautifully, and when he finally leaves us and goes on the stage I'll have to go j to the trouble of makin' me a scarecrow j that won't be half as effective." '