EDITOR'S WALLET.

Otago Witness, Issue 2578, 12 August 1903, Page 72

EDITOR'S WALLET.

Tonng Mrs Candle Objects to Clubs. (By Geoege E. Sims, in Men and Women.) Mr Caudle was a member of a well-known club in St. James's street, and he occasionally spent an hour thero in 4he afternoon, when young Mrs Caudle had shopping to do or was paying oarl'ls, and he was temporarily released from attendance. I One day, in an unwise hour, Mr Caudlo, j learning that his wife would be shopping ! in the neighbourhood during the. afternoon, suggested that v»-hen sho had finished she might call for him. with the carriage, and thcii they could 1 drive home together. The- hour agreed upon was 5 o'clock), but I young Mrs Caudle, who had an appointment ) with- her dressmaker, had found that her gown was not ready to be tried on, and so iliad driven straight to the club, which she - reached at 4.30, and! was informed that Mr Caudle had been there, but bad gone on to tho Constitutional ia Northumberland avenue. . With the charming inconsequence of her I sex, young Mrs Caudle concluded thai; sho

i had found Mr Oau'dle out. His plea that 1 he went to his'dub to read the papers and • magazines was a, wicked pretence. He only said he was at the club to account for tho j time lie spent away from 'her. "It's all a. -wicked plot," she said to herself, "and) I've mo doubt the hall porter at the club is in it. It's part of his duty to , deceive, members' wives when they call for , their husbands. But he won't deceive m©. • I'll go to the Constitutional, and find out for msi3olf if tony igenetleman, really is I there." I Now it happened, by one of thosa unfortunate coincidences which sometimes wreck iho lives of m/n, that the day was Friday, ■ and on Friday afternoon it is th© custom of ! the Constitutional Club to allow members j to receive guests of the fair sex and enterI tain them to tea and cakes. '■ When the brougham stopped at the door of the olub, end Mrs Caudlo saw a bevy* of charming young ladies filtering the promises and being received by smiling male Constitutionals, her pretty face flushed with . indignation. j "So," she exclaimed 1 , "this ia how my lord spends his afternoon, is it?" For a moment sh© was inclined to enter the club and demand Caudle dead or alive, and, having, secured him, to tall him what 1 her views of his couduc-i were before the assembled company. But as she had only a walking dress on and a hat which was at least a fortnight behind the fashion, ehe decided' to let the opportunity of a public reprisal pass, and, putting her head oot of, the window, said "Home." She eaid iu 1 ia a way that -caused the coachman to jump on the box and almost to drop the reins. And the commissionaire who was standing waiting .to open the carriage door reeled back) as though he had been struck in the breast' by a spent shell on the battlefield. Candle, after an interview with the friend he had gone to see, which lasted only a few minutes, walked back to St. James's street, and at five minutes to 5 took up his poeition on the eteps of his. club, in order that hia wife should not have to wait for him. It was while he wa» standing sentine,. that he received the information that a lady had called for him half an hour previously. When Caudle got horn© lie inquired for . Mrs Caudle, and waa told that sh& was upetairs packing. "Packing!" he exclaimed 1 . "Why, what in the name of " He finished the sentence to himself as lie ran up the stairs. He found his wife in tho bedroom surrounded by open trunks. She was giving instructions to her maid, Who was folding dresses ready for packing. "Mabel, what in the name of goodners does this mean?" Young Mrs Caudlo turnedl a flushed face to her husband. Her eyes bore eigns of recent weeping. "It means," s>e said between three little hysterical eniffs, "that I'm going home to father." < Caudle stared at tho unhappy little face in blank am.3zenvcinfc. The maid ihad discreetly quitted tho room. "Do you mean to say that you're going horns because you called at the club half an hour before youT time and I wasn't thero? Is that what this insane proceeding mean<3?" Young Mrs Caudle faced her indignant spouse with flashing 1 eyes. "Insane!" ehe cried; "and if It is, wlio has- driven mo insane? What do you expect a woman to do who finds tfiat her husband is deceiving her? Pretending to be at his club " reading tho Quarterly Review, while all the time he's gallivanting about with a lot of other women." "Gallivanting with a lot of • You're mad !" "Oh, yon <xin sliout, bufc you won't drown tli© voice of truth. I've been to your precious Constitutional, and I've seen things with my own eyes." "The Constitutional is a highly respectable club. You've ceen no harm there, either with your own eyes or any that you may have borrowed for the occasion !" "You were- there, Wilfrid. You don't deny it, and I saw crowds of women going

"There were, ladies fchere," gasped Caiiclle. beginning- lo realise the. situation, '"but. I can't help that. I didn't know it was ladiea 1 day, and I went to see my friend Tom Dexter." "Oh, you went to see Tom Dexter, did you?" "Yes, he's the editor of an illustrated paper, and I'm, writing articles for him. You know that, and you know him— l introduced you to him." "Yes, I know you did: but where?" "Well, where was it? Somewhere, I know." "Yes, and! I know, too. It was at the Empire." "Eh'/" said Caudle, slightly taken aback. "AM yes, of course it was. We had a box, and as we came out on to the promenade we met Dexter." "Oh, I remember 1" said young Mrs Caudlo, with her oliin m the air. "It was juet where I should expect to .meet your club friends." "Don't be absurd ! Tom Dexter's cne of the quietest fellows in the world. He was there with his artist to get a picture for an illustrated periodical that he edits."

"So he explained' at the time. I iaxf some of the pictures, and pretty picture* they were, too. Oh, very pretty pictures I"

"Mabel, it is positively -wicked! of you to throw out euch insinuations. You know; Dexter was there after a picture — an ilius* tration, I ought to say. You saw the illustration in the periodical afterwards. Besides, what's the matter with the Empire? Everybody goes there. Dukca and duotaesea and clergymen go there, cadi tales their wives. Confound it all ! I took you!"

"Oh, yea, "you took me to the Empire j but you never take me to your club."

"My dear, I can't. Ladies ar© not admitted."

"Oh! then, I suppose that's why you leave it and go to the Constitutional." "Mabel, you are >enough~ to aggravate & saint with your baseless insinuations 1" "Then they won't aggravate" you. But don't e&y any more. I'm going home to father. He spends his spare time with his family, andl he doesn't go to the -Empire, and he doesn't go to the Constitutional, and he haen'fa gob a club. And he — he love* me!"

Young Mrs Caudle sat down and buried , her face in her handkerchief. "If you'd told me you* -went to clubs," she sobbed, "I wouldn't have married you." '"What noiumfe you're ' talking, child! . A man Las to go to his ~hib sometimes, especially r, literary man. You get all the papers and magaiinea there, and 1 you meet men- who are useful 'to you. A man who writes for newspapers must know what's going en in the world "

"But you don't write for ladies' papers," sobbed yovng Sirs Caudle, "so that's" no cxcuso for your going -to the Constitutional."

"I've told 1 you why I went there. And it isn't a ladies' club. It's a man's elul» — a political clvb — a conservative club. It' 3 one of the best in Lceidon, Lord Salisbury goes there." "On ladies' day?"

"You've got ladies' day on the brain. Lots- of clubs— poiitioal clubs— hay© ladies* days."

"Does your club?"

"No, my dear. Mine is one of the quieteefe clufra in London. Why, you_,o\m fellow townsman, Mr Joseph Ohanilierlain, is a member."

"I don't care, * sf.wl Mrs Caudle, "I hate all clubs." "Bxit why?"

They take mon from their *iomes. And as to your club, I've eeen quite yoitng, fast-looking men going into it, and one day when I called for you I saw Hadies driving up and sending in messages, and young, good-looking follows came out.'.'.

"Good-looking fellows can't help being married," eaid Mr Caudle gentlj. "Oh, aro only wives allowed to call at your club, then? Does tho commiseicnaire ask for their marriage certificates before* taking their messages in?" . • . • ■ "My dear Mabel, if you could craly spend an hour at my club you "would thuSc-veiy ' differently of it. Why, Ihe l members life in «asy chairs and] read, *nd scarcely speak a word. In on/ room we have 'Silence' over the mantelpiece." "Ah ! I suppose the committee put thati up to stop the bad- Jangua*o." "Bad language— in my olub!" exclaimed Caudle indignantly. "You'll ' 'be saying there's a bar there next, andl that ebme of the members ato on th© Black List."

"Oh, I know .more about clubs than you think If they are such innocent places, why are tho police always raiding them.? They raided one the other day." "Oh, that was 1 (a bogus dub." "Was it? I dare say the members of the Bogus Club toll their wives it's quite a respectable p-!ace. I read all about the raid there, you know, in .tho papers. Nioe goimgs on. They had a ladies' night, too, like the Con—"

"Mabel, you are talking absolute rubbish ! The political and social clubs are not night; houses."

. "Yes, they are. They keep open till 2 a.m. You told me so youwe-lf about your own c!ub."

"I can't argue with you," exclaimed! Caudle, wearily. "It's hopeless. Club life — real club life— is not only respectable, bub decidedly dull." "Oh, very well, then, I'll join a olub. There are plenty of ladies' oluba. I'll get a' friend to put me up for the Empress, and! I'll 101 l iui th© window and smoke cigarettes, and if you see a. man dash up in a hansom and send in his card to me, don't you dare to say a word." Caudlo sat down on the edge, of the bed, and burst into a fit of laughter. This picture of one of Ihe best and most dignified; ladies' clubs in London, was too much for him. , -

"Peace was ovcoitually restored," writes - Caudle, "but tho amount of the Avar indemnity was heavy. Alra Caudlo had longbeen possessed of a burning desire for an opal bracelet which the had rcen at her jeweller's. I had always strongly opposeJl the idea of lier acquiring jewels of suoli evil reputation, not only from economical motives, but because I have always had the opal superstition myself. I agreed to buy the bracelet, and in tho expand ra of joy the pretty little faco became, quickly wreathedf with smiles, and my luckless visit ho a friend V club on ladies' day was temporarily forghen."