Dorothy Dixs Studies in Natural History. THE SECOND WIFE.

Otago Witness, Issue 2571, 24 June 1903, Page 72

Dorothy Dixs Studies in Natural History. THE SECOND WIFE.

We now approach the study of an animal that has man in iuch subjection that it is enabled to lead him around by tho nose wherever it pleaws. This is called the Second Wife, and is, without doubt, the most pampered and indulged creature in the world. rhe Second Wife ie indigenous to every country, but ltd favourite habitat is Asia and Airica, where it exists in large numbers in almost evory 'house. An effort was mad© some years ago to cultivate similar large bunches of the species in Utah, but, ow;-.ig to the introduction of bargain day and Fienoh millinery, the experiment failed, it being found impossible for a man to maintain more than one Seccmd Wife at a^ time. It is Rfi orally conceded that the Second Wife is the mest intelligent and foxy of all female animals, but naturalists hayo had j-omo difficulty in dcfinittly classifying it, owing to tho fart that it possesses eueh varying characteristics. A careful investigation, however, haft led the most advanced ■■c'cnti'-ts to believe that inasmuch »6 it oxliibit« almost supernatural cunning in grabb.ng e\crything in sight and pulling the wool over men's oye^s it belongs to the octopus family, and is either a highly-de-veloped Mipcii s of the genus Feminus Graftifous — or c"!i-e the genus Oldmanse Darhngis. Uiifcitunaiely it has been found impossible to obtain reliable information on this point, as wonlen writers exhibit tho same antipathy to this charming creature that they do foi a snake in the gra,-s. Bachelor 'cien-ti-t.4 aio disj-o-ed to treat the subject with levity, holding that • th-> S- cond Wife i.. n-orcly an .dio-yrcr^y of t.-i-,te such as is exhibited by the people who voluntarily afflict theins'lveo with monkeys and parrots, while thf men wlio ha\e owned a Second Wife, and ■ who alone hove had an opportunity of careful and thorough study of it at o'o=e rcngc, lia\o eithrr been too much terrorised or else too dotty to give any < riicrfnt \iews oft the subject. In spp^aiamo tho Second Wife is ft mo-t attraetue creative, and can easily be distinsruinluxl from a I"'ir=t Wifo by being much better dre^.'d, and having, the «lrek hair of a pet, whfini? the. other look^ like a meek beat = t of burden. The Second Wife is likrw^P generally much younger than its owTiPr, wlio tkhelits in adorning it with coats, diamond heart.*, pearl ncrklair>=, otf H^ a' o provides it with tho uic-t luxurious quarters m winch to li\e, and automobiles and carriages in which to take it* daily constitutional,*. Nothing could be a more diverting- amrseir<nt than to watch the" habits of this clever little and «oe how it gets Ui-ere with. both feet. A Fir.,t Wife may havo brrn fod on corned href and cabbage, but a Second Wife's tables arj so delicate that itiPf|iiiies s tra\vbernct3 in January and .-himl a<inc all thf }oar round. Tin-, it c/bta ns by the «implo proc e-s of tickling its owner ui'der tl>o Ibm and rall..ng him a naughty )-o\ . pn'l tl'rr atenma; to fry it- pretty eyes nut if it )•, rcfu-'d. Th b sccins to ran.-c tli" jvr.i to pc to piece... ai.d lie hu^tlos out and gPts what his I'ttV nr>t nantf, even if lie has to rob a lank to <lo it. The Scond Wife 1- also very fond of fr>fi<-*v. nil although >t= owner, aG has b^en ptid, i- centrally middle-aged and gouty, and would far lather go to b<xl. ho. suffers him-,<?lf to be drairgad around to ImUs and parties every ni^lit, whore he ha= the <\- quii-ite pleasure of .standing a'ound with other possessors of Second Wive=. watc'ima; handsomo young gallants waltzing with their pets. Society, however, is merely a side lino with the Second Wife. Tts chief amusement is turning the Fir-t Wife's pic-

ture to tho wall and blowing in the money she helped make and save. The most marked characteristic of the Second Wife ie its hypnotic power over man. Apparently it has only to make a few passes at a man and he lies down before it and lets it make a door mat of him. How this is done, nobody has even been able to even conjecture. It is indisputable, though, that no man ever treats a Second Wife as he did his First, for while tho First Wife is generally the family pack horse who has to bear most of the burdens, the Second Wife is invariably a purely ornamental pet. Various theories have been advanced to account for this difference in attitude, some holding that a, man has to kill one wife before hs learns how to treat another, while others contend that the Second Wife is a kllnd of Nemesis who avenge the First Wife, and that if a wife desires to be remembered tenderly and regretfully by a man she should encourage him to adopt a Second Wife who flill make him jump through the hoop. A S<?cond Wife is one of the most expensive of known animals to maintain, and usually keeps her owner's ncee to the grindstone. Nevertheless many men are so anxious for one of these little pets that they cannot wait for their First Wife to die, but get nd of her by divorce, so that they may sefup a Second Wife. It is tho duty of every woman to protect her husband from a Second Wife. She can, only do this by keep.ng alhe.