[PUBLISHED By SPECIAL Arrangement.] BOB'S JOURNAL.

Otago Witness, Issue 2545, 24 December 1902, Page 75

[PUBLISHED By SPECIAL Arrangement.] BOB'S JOURNAL.

*"' * I By C. Haruison, I

Author of "Master Charlie's Sketch Book," &c, &c , ;. . - [Coptbight] ' This is my journal. You may call it a j diary-if you like- J haver just- dotted- down ■, from tim© to'itime during these holidays my impressions of- people and things,. and. mor®nartickulerly the^ parties I- have been- to. Of \ Soodrse it should Joe Understood that these . notes "and -were not -intended to be j mad© public a 4 all.-and it is only at the very ! great urging request of a few friends that I" showed them. to, who said that they were -what the -world would not willingly lei die , <or something like that), that I have consented to let-them appear. With these few preferred remarks I will begin. Dec. .18.— Breaking np party at old Switchem's. Just the same as usual — ihe same sandwiches left over from last year's party, Mrs S. in the same old dress, th© lovely Miss Jemima wearing the same old smile, and me and Hawkins major and Simperson minor having the same old larks. Of course, the kids in" the lower forms were all dreadfully frightened— little Perkins, who had to xesiie "The" Lay of Horatius" (yards and yards of it— we all had to do it some tim© or other), was in a blue funk all the even-ing-till he'd got it over, and eouldn t eat any tea, poor? chap; but h© mad© up by «;oipg - down to supper three time€. The

chemistry master gave-, demonstrashuns in th© lecture room, and you should have seen him "when he found out that his best experiment was spoiled because m© and Hawkins minor had filled up the bottles with the nastiest smelling stuff we could get hold of, so that all th© ladies he has showing off to had to get out of the room as quick as they could. Oh, he was wild ! Addum, the xnatthematties master, did a pice© called "The-. Dream of Toujin Airum"— awfully . trajic— and we pretended that it was a \ comio resitashun, and burst out laughing in the solenutist parts It seemed to put him off rather. Of course, old Switchem made a speach at the 2nd, and (talked a lot of rot, and- 1 cheared like anything because I'm not going hack next term: On the whole, the supper wasn't had. Dec. 25, "Christmas Day. — We always have •what is called a family gathering — a lot of uncles and aunts and cousins and thing 3 come to dinner, and we have turkey and sausages, and plum pudding, and all- the rest of it, and then games and crackers afterwards.' Of course you get n. lot of presents, and some of them are rather decent, but it is awful rot when Aunt Alicia gives you a. beastly game called "C^o Kings of Eng-

land" — as if you didn't hare too much of them all the year round — and you have to Bay you like it awfully or else Ma will give it you afterwards. Every one of the young ones has to do something — play or sing, or say a piece of -poetry, or something — and it is Guoh a bore. This time Gladys and Dorothy (Uncle Josser's luck) played a duet; -which lasted for about 15 hours, % should think, though perhaps that may be a slight eggxajerashun. Then that silly young idiot, Clarence, did 'Triends, Rummuns, countrymen," and the grown-ups all said it showed great promise, but Charley and me took him j out in the passage afterwards, and said we'd promise to punch his head for him if he didn't drop some of his airs, and he wasn't so bad afterwards, though he eeemed rather subdewed. It certainly was an awfully good dinner — I had sampled most of the things beforehand, until Cook was nearly off her iiead, and wouldn't let me go into the kitchen any more. Uncle Josser made his usual speacli, and talked about Pa's horspiitality and the "groning bored" (here Charley and me bsgan to grone until Ma looked severely at. us) and "tie young olive •branches'" (I da hate to i>© called an olive branch), and Pa replied in.-s few well-chosen words. I collared Cousin Margery under the .misseko — she's a regular stunner — and ' Uncle George said he wished he was me. He's not a bad sort isn't Uncle Georg*, he gave me a proper steam-engine. Then we ad Dum Sherards (I was awfully good as Alfred and the cakes — they were real cakes, and I «a.t thee, and Ethe\ mi .thjtf j*m.

wrong, but the audience laughed very much, so it didn't matter). I didn't feel quit© the thing next day. Dec. 28. — Went to Mrs Spriggins's. If I'd known what it was going to be like, I

wouldn't have gone near the place. It was a regular kids' parly. iFanoy asking me to a kids' party! When I got there they were playing at "Nuts and May," and I began before I knew . what I -was doing. However, v/hen it came to my turn to pull against a I great big girl (I forget what her name was) j I gav£ her such a squeeze with my hand, i and' sac was- so surprised that' I pulled her . i over «asy,-aßd she. said I was a horrid boy ' arid she wouldn't play any more. Then, they i had '"Hunt the Slipper," and that went on i until I caught one small boy-right in th© • eye, with the slipper, and it raised an. awful 1 lump, and he howled like anything. So then we had "Musical Chairs," and of course i I won that, but Mra Spriggins was quit© cross because she said I was rough with the little ones. Then why ever did she ask me, I should like to know. Th© tea wasn't very good. I heatd Mrs Spriggins say to one of

the ladies, "One has to be so careful nowadays with th© modern child, so little upsets them. You will find that I have provided nothing but what is quite wholesome." When I had heard that and had tried most of the- cak)3s I saw it was no good— l must save myself for supper. After tea they played at "Mulberry Bush." Just fancy! And would you believe it? — "Kiss in the Ring I" Of course I didn't play; not much! I stood and talked to Miss Brown, who is a dashing sort of girl, and rather in my style. She was very pleasant, but laughed too much, and 1= don't known what at, ■ because I wasn't trying to be funny. Then ! they had a bran j>ie, and I went in for i that, and what do you think I got? You'll never guess. It was a doll's perambulator ! And one girl got rather a good knife, but the silly little thing wouldn't change with me. The supper cam© at last, but it was only rather good ; it was like the tea, much too wholesome. There- wasn't a single really ripping think there, and I ought to know, as I tried them ell. It was a rotten party. Jan. 1. — I went with my sister Ada to a party at the Singers'. I didn't want to go a bit, but sbe said she couldn't go alone without an eskort, co I said I'd go if she

wou'd make it worth my while, so she promised to stick in all niy loos© stamps — she's rather good at it if you tell her where to put them — so 1 went. The invitation had "Music" in the corner, but it ought to have had it printed in large letters all over it. How anyone can stand that sort of thing I don'.t know ! They did nothing else all the evening but talk and sing and play, and such awful stuff, too; there wasn't a single comic song in the lot. . There were heaps of johnnies with long hair who thumped on the piano or .craped on fiddles one at a time, or, what was worse, together sometimes, and girls who screached out songs about "When last we met" or "Bid me good-bye," pc things of that kind, and while it was going on everybody talked as hard as they could until it was over, and then they stopped and said, "Oh, thank you so much. "What a charming piece ! Whose is it?" And then went on talking again. I wa9 feeling awfully sick at having come, • when I met young Singer, -who was standing i outside in the passage, and he said would like to. some ujd. lost ai ih* sugper jjbla

I said, "Rather," and so we went and had an awfully good time, all by ourselves, before anyone came in. I must say that these musical people do themselves very well in the way of refreshments. I don't think it's very nice for them to think so

much about what they cat. I tasted 12 different kinds of sandwiches, and then me and young Singer mixed up all the labels, so that there was no end of a game when the others came, and Miss Singer was as mad as she could be. Ada was vary cross when I told her afterwards how I'd got on, and said sh© wouldn't do my stamps. That's just like a girl. Catch mo doing anything to oblige her again in a hurry ! We went home directly after supper, because I said I feoling well, but "it was only because I couldn't stand any more of the music. I believe they had quite a lot more ! Jan. 8. — Went last night to quite a new sort of party. It had ping-pong in the corner. Oh, what larks I did have! When I got there I found they were nearly all grown-ups, and they'd all come in evening dress and were no end of swells.^ I was in my Btons, so of course I was all right. Mrs Jones seemed rather surprised to see me and said 6he thought I was much older, but hoped I'd behave myself. I don't think it was very nice. So in the interval between tea and coffee and the tornament I went into the clok room, and told the servant she was wanted upstairs, and while she was gone I stuck all the numbers on the wrong hats. Then we had to go and begin the tornament. I'm rather good at ping-pong;

you should see me serve ! Some of the girls said it wasn't fair, but that was because they couldn't take them. First of all I had to play against a chap who thought an awful lot of himself, and I heard him sray when ho was told he'd got to play me that he'd let me down easy. But ait the end of the game he was awfully savage. I played up for all I was worth, and though he played rather a decent gam© he wasn't in it. One old buffer in a white waistcoat thought it was awfully funny, and kept saying, "Go it, little 'un !" and that made the young chap madder than ever, till at last he sent a ball right in the Did buffer's eye. In the next round I played against a girl; I do hate playing mth girls. She was awfully keen on it, though, and several times she put in some quite decent shots ; but of coursf* I wasn't going to be beaten by her, co I came in with a rush at the finish and just won on the post, as <they say. Then we had "light refreshments." Light! Well, if they called those sausage-rolls light they'd say any thing; and I think if I'd only had two I shouldn't have lost my gam© afterwards, though I must say that 'the girl I played against (it vas a girl again !) played better than anyone I've ever seen. The exsitement was tremendus. You might have heard a pin drop anytime, if ik iuul been a

very largo heavy one. She only just wan, and everyone said I played a jolly good game; but, of course, I don't want to bost. I hate a chap that bosts. I got the second prize — it was a* rotten pincushion! Fancy giving a chap a pincushion ! On the whole it wasn't *a bad party, but the old buffer didn'-t seem to think so, for I heard him making a. few remarks in the - cloak room afterwards. He'd got the wrong hat ! Wasn't that strange? Jan. 15. — Last night I went to the IrvingBrown's. A poor supper — not at all up to the mark. I am sorry to have to say so, because the Browns are very decent people, but the fact remains that the sandwiches left a great deal to be desired. The sheff doover (as old Parlyyoo would say) of the evenii^ was Tablo Vivong. This means that a lot of chaps and girls get themselves up in tablecloths, and hats, and shawls, and things, and pretend to be Queen Elizabeth and Mary Queen of Scots, etsettera, etsettera. The first was King John sining Magner Charter. Young Alexander Brown was John, and he was doing it beautifully until I axidently spilt some pepper underneath his nose (I'd brought it in from the other room on purpose), and the curtain descended hurriedly. Then we had a skirt dance by the two little Irving-Browns in harmoniumpleated dresses. Awful roi, I thought, but all the others said, "How charming! What childish grace !" or other silly things like that. The next tablo repperesented Ofelier tiaf £ta * T <dest BrowA^r"^ wh> thinks such

a lot of herself). After we'd looked at her for a moment or two somebody "said (I can't think who it was), "Well, I do think she might have combed her hair !" and again the curtain came down sharp, but Ofelier looked really mad just before. Then there was some silly part-song, where all wanted somebody to go "Ore th© downs so free"

with them, and I was quite ready at first, but then it turned out they wanted you. to | "win a bonny bride," so I wasn't taking- it I on. The last table was the four seasons,. krepperesented by the four Brown girls, got up to a tremendous extent. As "the curtain went- up I couldn't help laughing, .they did look go silly, .and soon after that I had^tb go j home. Ma says I- -shan't* ever- be' asked to I the Browns' again, but I don't think thatwill bfe mudh loss. In fact, I think I shall" give up going to parties all together. They" don't give you long enough for supper, and, j besides, it's so silly ; when you try to make yourself agroable your eforts are not appresiated — ac least that's my' experience, and when you've been to as many as I have; i I think you ought to be able to express an opinion. [The End.]