Howled Over.

Otago Witness, Issue 2529, 3 September 1902, Page 72

Howled Over.

A new-paper man in full dross sauntered into a FCcond-rL?jes restaurant in the \icinity of the Strand the other night, and was making his way to tho only table not occupied by th© horny handed who toil when the rest of the world slp'ppn, and who take their modest lepast of "coffee and door-steps" anywhere between midnight and daybreak.

The newspaper man was something of a dandy He was fond of fine clothes, and was proud of his customary natty appearance. As he threw buck his Inverness, preparatory to ordering a plate of boiled beef and carrots, another newspaper man wandered in and eat vis-a-vis. Recognition was mutual and instantaneous,. No. 2 seemed lastly Burpriitd,

"You don't mean to say that you patr& nise this place, do you?" he asked. "Oh, I drop in here oearionally," said "No. 1, with impressive nonchalance, "jvsfc if% study the lower phases of London life. Ib is vastly interesting, I assure you — many an amusing story I've picked up here." "Well, now, since you speak of it," said No. 2, "that is the reason lam here. lam surprised that you should be on the same mission. I thought that I had a monopoly, of that little racket."

Just at that moment the waiter came up, placed the palms of his hands on the table, and, gazing familiarly first, in the face of one and then in that ~T>i tho other, inquired : "As usual, gents?" Both men blushed guiltily, and the topid of conversation was immediately changed.

John Wanted to Knotr.

One of the dignitaries of the ScottisK Church, -before he became known to fame, was minister of a remote parish in Perth* 6hire, and was not considered a particularly attractive preacher. At his suggestion, extensive alteration* were made in the transept of his church, and these had the effect of sweeping away; considerable seating accommodation. Ones day, after the alterations had been effectedf he vibited the church to see how it looked, i

" What do you think of the improvements, John?" he asked of the beadle.

"Improvements !"' exclaimed John, in disdain; "they're* no improvements at a* Whaur are ye going' to put tho folk?" "Oli," said the minister, "we have abundance of room. John, considering the size o£ the congregation." "That's a' very wee] the noo," retorted the beadle : "but what will we do when we get a popular meenister?"