Inconvenient Obedience.

Otago Witness, Issue 2522, 16 July 1902, Page 85

Inconvenient Obedience.

A laughable illustration of practice fol lowing theory and precept canicd immediately into example occurred not long since in one of the royal dockyards. The superintendent — a mild but zealous disciplinarian, who is admitted to be* thoroughly acquainted with the most insignificant details of his noblo and gallant profession, from the duties of the energetic boatswain, to those of the dignified commander-m-cliicf — was briskly passing a sentinel, on his way to his official residence, when he turned upon tho Btahvart guardian of the royal establishment and demanded the reason why he did not challenge him. In vain the sentry declared that ho knew him. to bo the superintendent; he was emphatically told Jiis duty was to challenge every person who approached him, and, warming with, excitement, tho gallant superintendent exclaimed : "Challenge all! Challenge me, sir!" ''Well, then," said the sturdy pupil, lowering hi 3 musket and bringing it to the charge, "I do challenge you. Give the parole, Bir!" And the hasty superintendent, having in the course of his practical instruction allowed the parole to slip his 'memory, was forthwith made a prisoner and driven into the sentry-box. So situated, the worthy preceptor was soon granted another opportunity of estimating the effects of his teachihfr. A policeman, passing, demanded why tho sentry had imprisoned the gentleman. "You foolish fellow!" he Eaid. "Why, it is the superintendent!" • But the only reply from the gentry was ihe vociferous demand: "give the pwolftl"-

The policeman, deeming his uniform to be a Fufficii'nt authority foi pas-sing the sentry, had also forgotten to lenra the parole, -and he, too, was ordered into the sentry-box, from which he and his distinguished fellow prisoner were rescued only when the sentry was relieved from his post. Proof Fosiiive. Not long ago a .convict in a French penr.l colony, who was serving a life sentence there, desired to marry one of the women convicts, and made application to the authorities for the necessary permission. The Governor of the colony offered no objection, but the priest proceeded to cross-examine the prisoner. "Did you not marry in France?" ha asked. "Yes." "And your wife is dead?'* "She is." "Have you any document to show that she is dead?" "No." "Then I must decline to marry you. You must produce some proof that your wife is dead." There was a pause, and the bride-prospec-tive looked at the would-be groom. Finally he said, "I can prove that my former wife is dead." "How will you do so?"* "I was sent here for killing her." The bride accepted him notwithstanding. lie Would \raif. In manjcNScottish families the old manservant is something of an institution. Ho 3 enters the service of a, particular family when a boy, adheres faithfully to fcis place for a long number of years, and only resigns when the infirmities of age are uporr him. In time he becomes a little imperious in tone, and claims as his rights little things that were at first granted to him as favours. If any objection is urged to his demands, he usually asserts himself with a spirit of independence. A lady (a friend of the writer's) tells an amusing story illustrative of this. Her coachman — a crusty old customer who had! been in the service of the family in her father's time — gave her great trouble and annoyance on different occasions by nofc carrying out her ..instructions. At length the matter became unbearable, and she determined to see what effect dismissal would have upon the mutinous servant. Calling him into her presence, she said, with as much asperity as she could command : "I cannot stand this any longer, John. You must look out for another situation. You will leave my service at the end of the month." The old servant looked at her in amusement for a minuto, and then the characteristic "loyalty" came to the surface. "Na, na, my lady," he said ; "I drove you to the kirk to be baptised, I drove you to your marriage, and I'll stay to drive you to your funeral '" Illustration Hotter Mian frpc?cli. A minister had 3ong_ failed in an attempt __ to give up snuff-taking, and at last he preached ft sermon against it, but' was miserable all the week after. When Sunday came round he found he was getting on very languidly, and, to make' the thing worse, aa honest man of an elder, sitting immediately, under the eye of the_ minister, took out his t "mull," tapped it on'tho lid, and. with the;' utmost gravity, took a comfortable "sneeshin." The minister could stand this no longer ; he stopped abruptly in his sermon and said, "John, for shame upon you, 6ir; how dare you do that?" The elder looked up iv amazement. The preacher continued, "Don't you remember what I said to you last Sabbath?" But the elder could not yet fathom what he had done to cause offence. The minister'a passion for snuff had in the interim grown to such an intensity that it was a> c»MS of life or death ; ho could restrain himself no longer, and so, addressing the elder,he said, "I will not pollute my lips by mentioning what you did, but I will show you what it was; hand mo up the box." Having got tho box, he gave a certain number of taps on tho lid, and went through the other forms of snuff-taking in imiration of. what he had observed the elder do, saying-, as he went on, "That is what you did, sir — and, what is more- you" — taking a pinch— '•did that too!" Draw ing Out the Mean Wan. Robert Carriok, one of the richest bankers of Scotland a few generations ago, was as mean as he was wealth}'. Being one day visited by a deputation eollec'iiig subscrig.tions towards -a new hospital, ho signed; foi2^3, and one of the gentlemen expressing disappointment at the smalluess of the amount, ho said, "Really, I cannot afford 1 ' more. ' ' _/ The deputation i.ext visited Wilson, one of the largest manufacturer? in the city, who, on seeing the list, cried: "What, Carrick only two guineas?" When informed of what the banker liad 3 said, Wilson replied : "Wait; I will give him a lw&on." Taking bis cheque book, ho filled in a. cheque /or £10,000, the full amount of his. deposit at Carrick's bank, and cent it for immediate payment. Five minutes later the banker appeared, breathless, and asked, "What is the matter, Wilson?"' "Nothing the matter with me," replied Wilson; "but these gentlemen informed ma : that you couldn't afford more than two 1 guineas for the hospital. Halloa ! thinks L if that's tho case there must bo something wrong, and I'll get my money out as soo«t as possible." Carrick took the subscription list, eraeecE the 2gs, and substituted 50, on which Wilson immediately lore up his cheque. An Uncoil sidered Trifle. It is his wont to come from the suburbs early of a morning and tc go out again by the 5.30 train, when his day's work is done* A few days ago he met an old friend, and 1 , yielding to the entreaties of that old friendV he decided to .spend the evening in town. Ho was so afraid wifio would fe«l hurt i£ she knew that he deliberately planned at* evening's good time without counting,., herj in that he manfully resolved to "deceive" hot. Accordingly, hs he came away from tho office he went to a telegraph office and sent this message to her: — "Unavoidably detained. Hissed 5.30 train. Will Bo home later." It was a great deal later when he reached! his happy home. Wifio met him at the dooi% and there was a look in her eyes that every" married man learns to know and instinctively to dread. "Did you suet my raescajie, picckuni" b£

At Bombay a native baker hab Tiad the Word 6 "European Loafei " painted over his ioot.

IThe incomn tax io India is Icvkd on all incomes of £23 and upward, and then only one man in 700 coiner within its> tcope.

asked, as he kissed her tenderly, holding his breatli meanwhile as a precautionary measure. - "Yes, dear,"' she made answer — and when a woman calls her husband "dear" that way you can cut loose from the weather bureau and prognosticate a few thing;, on your own hook — "yes, dear; I leceived your message. Here it is.'' There it was, sure enough. It was marked, as plain as plain could be. "Reccued at 4 .23. ' He hadn't thought of that.