LONG OR SHORT COURTSHIPS.

Otago Witness, Issue 2516, 4 June 1902, Page 63

LONG OR SHORT COURTSHIPS.

WHAT SOME FAMOUS WOMEN THINK

Mrs Oscar Beringer says : — "I am strictly in favour of a sufficiently long acquaintance before marriage, under favourable conditions, to ensure, as far as possible, that mutual recognition and comprehension of tastes, character, and temperament without which the good &hip ' Love,' having ■weathered the storms and stress of passion, will always fail to enter the safe harbour of friendship, sympathy, and forbearance. That so few ever x-each this haven arises, in my opinion, as much from the fact that but a small proportion of human beings are so fortunate as to meet their right ' pair ' as to their own blindness in recognising their true complement when they meet it. A iairly long acquaintance — why call it a courtship? — might, at any rate, possess the negative advantage of proving the proposed ' pair ' a couple of ' odd ones ' before outs panning becomes impossible." Lady Florence Dixie writes : — "I should say that human beings should get to know each other a bit before they bind themselves by law to each other. Sudden fancies, followed by a hasty marriage, often precipitate unhappiness, which might have been avoided by reasonable delay."' Miss Olga Nethersole's opinion: — '1 think the decision as to the length of a. courtship is one that must be left entirely to the two parties concerned. But were it possible for me to legislate in the matter, I should advise a long acquaintance, passing through the channel of friendship into courtship, a short engagement — the shortest possible. I think that this mode of procedure would inevitably end in v happy marriage." From Miss (Fanny Moody-Manners : — "My opinion is 'Circumstances alter ca.ses.' Generally, for poor people, and people who have no private income, I think a short courtship is best, because, if they are going to marry poor, it is better to marry sooner than later, for I have noticed that, certainly in eight cases out of ten. it sobers a man, and makes him work all the more, because, if he is a man at all, he feels the responsibility that he has taken upon himself. On the other hand, if you are well off, perhaps it is better that you should thoroughly know each other's mind, so you can afford to wait and see. My own experience was that we married after a year, and the reason it was .so long was because I was singing in opera and my husband was singing in concert and oratorio ; so, if we had married, we should have been separated. Hence we resolved to wait until we could be together, otherwise, I think, ours would have been a bhoit courtship."' Thus the Hon. Mrs Foibes : — "My personal opinion is that short courtships are very much the most advantageous for the majority of people concerned. From the woman's point of view, there is nothing more miserable than uncertainty ; and many a woman's' life has been spoilt because the man she really cared for most took so long in making up his mind to ask her to marry him that somebody else was 'le premier venu.' A good many men also would doubtless have led. happier and more successful lives if they had not, by their own vacillation,-^ allowed the troman who would have made them the best wife to slip through their fingers. And from the point of view of the people — relations or otherwise — in whose houses the ' affaire ' is being carried on, a long courtship is an unmitigated nuisance. So, speaking under coercion, I would give my own vote in favour of short courtships. ' Happy the wooing that's not long a-doing.' " From "Helen Mathers," the authoress of "Coming Thro' the Rye": — "A short courtship, certainly, as it does not, give the man and the girl time to find out each other's faults, that, puce learned. «ue never