The First Baby.

Otago Witness, Issue 2511, 30 April 1902, Page 72

The First Baby.

The Caller: "Ah, Julia, I'm— — " Mis Youngwife : "Whj*, now do you do — oh. good gracious!" (Abruptly disappears After five minutes again returns.) The Caller: "I'm afraid I intr " "Intrude, you dear tiling? Why, I'm perfectly delighted (starting). There, I knew fi'len ne\er will remember to " (Disappears for five minutes more. Recntero ) "You appear so occupied that perhaps "' "'Sh!" "I beg your pardon?" " 'Sh !'" {in a painfully repressed whisper). "It's Lucius — be'& gone to sleep. I'm charmed to see you — only please don't speak loud — he's so wakeful, Lucius is."' "lon't he well?" "Well? Indeed ho is! Everybody says Fuch a healthy child never was seen. Well? The idea !" "He's about six months old, isn't he?" "My dear, I'm surprised at you ! Lucius will be seven months old two weeks from next Tuesday morning at fhe minutes past 6 pieeisely. But, really, you'd think him eight— you certainly would. He's so precocious, Lucius i* !" The caller concludes to change the subject. "Very cold- to-day, don't you thinki?" "Truly it is I've not known such weather for ever ?o long — not since- Lucius was *Dorn. But bess 's little 'art, 'o does not mind it " "How is your husband ?"' "Henry? Oh, w^ell enough — why not? I think it's nearly time for him to come home, but I'm not sure. I'm to occupied with Lucius- " "Someone told me that ho's looking rather badly, and II — ■ — "' '■"Whoever sa.id that was <uip of those envious old maids who know nothing about it. The prettiesi little thing — hair almost an inch long — and when he gets hie teeth " "What? Who?" "Why, Lucius, of course!" • "Isn't it horrible about young Boodle? Accounts found short, you know." "Lucius's accounts will ne\er be found short, I promise you. He's going to bo a lawyer." "lie might succeed his father as- '' "A cotton broker? Upon my word ! That's wall enough for Honry, but Lucius — oh !" "What does 'his father wish?" "Lucius will be amply able to arrange his affairs without dictation, I fancy. He'll be so self-possessed, Lucius will !" "There's to be a lecture tomorrow evening Miss Styla. the celebrated authoress, fcpeaks on ' The Higher Education of Women.' " "What doea she know about it? The- idea of her venturing to express any views on such a fcubject." "SheV generally thought an authority." "An authority ! On the higher education of women! Why, she hasn't— bless thewoman, 6he hasn't— she hasn't any baby." The caller, now rather at a loss what to Pay, is relieved by the arrival of Henry, who enters in a sidelong, apologising way. He-nvy (with timid boldness, to caller) : "Ah. how do you do? (Approaches to kifia Mrs Youngwife.) Weli.^har, all right, eh? I'm awfully glad tc " Mrs Youngwife (in the very face of attempted oarulation) : "Oh, Henry, do fchut that door — haven't you any consideration? You'll let a draught right upstair* upon Lucius. No, don't slam it — what a man you are ! Why, you may wake- Lucius ! " Henry (meekly obeying) . "Whew ' I'm half frozen !*' "So you are ! Now, be sure you warm yourself thoroughly b&fore you go near Lucius—remember ! He's -o sensitive, Lucius is '" "And I've got one of my beastly headaches." Mrs Youngwife (to caller) : "Oh, dear, you can't guess bow they worry me! Suppose he should transmit them to Luciushe i- so heieditary. Lucius is !"