HOW JIM-JAM GOT HIS WIFE.

Otago Witness, Issue 2504, 19 March 1902, Page 74

HOW JIM -JAM GOT HIS WIFE.

(For the Witness.)

By Irkne Ixgkam.

His baptismal name was James Jamieson, but his chums nicknamed him JimJam. He was yarning in Jack Cleaver's whare, .;nd, w ith two or three others, they had been talking over a purchase he had made that week — a furnished house. "Well," said Jack, "now you've got the place, whatyer goin' ter do with it? Hang it all. I don't see how ycr goin ter look arter it!" " Oh, I'll get married and leave that to the nns-sus," was Jim-Jam's cool reply. They scared at him in astonishment tora full minute, and Bullocky Bill, who was near him, moved to the other side of the hut. " I say, ole man, I 'ope yer ain't got rats," said Bill at last. "If yer kin git a wife yer cleverer than any o' us [the preponderance of men in the district was about 90 per cent.], an' I don't want ter insult yer, but yer really are the worst-lookin' chap o' the lot." " Git away with yer." said Jack. "He's igot his eye on a girl, btt yer buttons. Who is it, Jim-Jam?" " What would you say if I told you it's Jenny Bruce?" "Jenny Biuce! Why she's Tommy Tompkiiis's girl." "She was — they quarrelled last week." " But they'll make it up agon next." " I v. on't give 'em time. Tommy is ft sneak, anyhow ; she's- heaps too good for the bnozy hypocrite, and I won't see her had if I can help it. What .vill you lay on it, chaps, that I ain't married to Jenny by this day week?" They were all willing to bet on the, chances, and lie was piomised a varied and ( y inns assortment of wedding presents brides, of which he took careful note in hi* pocket-book. "But how ci vcr goin' ter do it?" queried Jack. " A-k hei, of course. How else? Well, I niuM be off. Good-night, chaps."' "»So-long, mate!" The next morning (Sunday) Jim-Jam was prompt at church, and u.s his route was the same a<< that taken bj r Jenny, he (accidentally, of course) overtook her, tnd walked with her as far as the gate of her home. After evening service he was again in attendance, and when she would have opened the gate he held it shut. " Before you go. Miss Bruce, I've some-th-nj.- to say to you," he said. " I'm all attention," she replied ; " but you'd better be quick, because I hear father and mother coming. What is it?" 'I want to know if you'll many me?" " I don't understand " ' Will you be my wife?"' "No. certainly not! What made yoi take Mich a silly notion all of a sudden.'" "It is not 'of a sudden.' and is far fiom 'silly.' I've been saving foi years, and bought the house last week. Won't jou take possession of it?" "No 1 No! A thousand no's!" '• I won't take that for an answer tonight. Think about it, and I'll call for v. in -'iiMver to-moirow afternoon." And btfoie she had time to leplv, her parents had joiiK-d her, and s-he was gone. The next afternoon she was taking tea with some giil friends who had called when Mi Jamicson was announced. He biojchcd the subject at once. "I've called for your answei — to see whether you 11 " " Yes. yes ! It's all right ' It's all right '** she said, huniedly and unwisely, thinking only of silencing him before her friends. " Will you take a cup of tea?" " Oh, no, I won't stop, thank you ! I'll see you again." The next day he turned up and sought an inteiview with her father. "But. the thing's impossible'" said Mr Bruce. ''The giil herself — " "Is willing," replied Jim-Jam. "I got hc-r consent yc-steid'iv, and hue i- the license." pulling a roll of p.-.pei from his bre ist pocket. "Well, you seem to ha\r left me little to -ay in ihe matter, md I had better le-ave it to YOU " 111 vain did J< liny piote-t in her interview with her fut'he! aflerwnids that -.he. w.ia not pie.paied — that she did not want to many Jim. "Did* you promise him?" her father asked. " Nc — yes! I suppose so ; but I did not mean " "Then that settles it. What you meant is of little consequence since it has come to this. J am an honourable man, and you aie my daughter, and many him \ mi' mu-t," and without fmther waiting to heai more he left the room. And «<o Jim-Jam got his wife. a« well an the money, which the fellow .s hand-omely paid, the wedding pre«ent«, and a yardfut of Histy kyiosene tins to start housekeeping on. To do him justice, Jenny hod not told him of her interview wjtli her father, and .-o he nas in ignorance of the fact that hi 1 ? success was leally owing to his own stupidity.