FRED MILK.

Otago Witness, Issue 2497, 22 January 1902, Page 61

FRED MILK .

Fred Milhs, who is 'Q well known m New Zealand and particulaily Dunedin, foiwards me the following —

Away out m the Kaiiguioo Countiy Valentine Vox's auiu-mg pickles were quite as much enjoyed I)} the youth v* in the Mothei Country itself, and it was this fictitious person wliom Fred made his hero. He rapidly acquired piohciency in ihe art, but it is an accomplishment I which lud iti drawbacks. In school he would ' make u'-e of hi* ventnloquial powers to the annoyance of the master and his mates, who i sometime-! wore whacked for talking m schoo 1 when Fred wi« the offend'-r. Howevei. thdominie tumbled ,to the pranks ot our irieiul with the result th'flt the youthful Milhs lud more often now to suffer for tue offences of , others, foi the sr-eakcrs would fix on the liino- , cent Fred as the culprit. Fred had not arrived | at that gift of philosophy to quietly endure kicking about, and consequently one fine morning he skipped away from home, and apprenticed himself with a biother-m-law of Michael Rush, , the oni e-famous champion oarsman, at his place on the Clarence Ri"er. A tiavelhng >-how h<ip- | pened to pas* that wav, and Fied, joining it, made hi- first step towards his present high position m the mue:c hall profession j From this lomantic beginning it will be , gathered that Fred has had a somewhat adventurous career, and truly he can tell a lprge number of amusing "tones, which are one and all worth re-telhrg. One, which has a smat

tenng of the Valentine Vox about it, happened on a small mail steamei out in Australia. The ■ engineer oi the vessel was a Scotchman, who had a natural liking for the " dew " of hi= own country, aiid one day the captain, a practical joker of the most pronounced type. mt>de up J his mind to work one of these off or> the com-mander-in-chief below decks The engineer 1 wor' loo«e slipper*, which lie slipped off and \ on without the us« (if hands «-o the ' naned the^e to the deck. " Call Mr Ferenson," said he Mr Ferguson, :n auewci to his cap- ' tain's summons, slipped his feet into the shppei". and consequently tripped up over

The captain evident'y prided himself on li'S smartness, and bna°tc-d that nobody could fool I him. Thi« put Mr sl'!lt= on his- mettle, and i procuring a -straw hat. he to-secl >t into the j v atrr ere .afternoon and imitated a pefon in t the watei crying foi help. The steamer was |

put about, and boats lowered, but without avail. The roll was called, but there was no one missing. Mr P. Joker had been fooled, and his rage was correspondingly great. He vowed he would put the person in prison who had been guilty of stopping her Majesty's mail boat. However, it was *ot until they arrived m Adelaide, where Mr Milhs was appearing, that he found out who was the perpetrator, and naturally thought he would be well-advised to say nothing about the matter. Mr Milhs has travelled all over the world, and can claim to have appeared before royalty. When in Hawaii he was the guest of King Kalkan. He gave a private rehearsal before the King and the present ex-Queen, who vas then a little girl. Mr Milhs was performing some juggling and conjuring tricks, and to the great astonishment of the little Princes", who was po delighted she brought a basket of sweets out of her pocket, and offered him some.