ONE DAY IN THE LIFE OF A PERSONAL REPRESENTATIVE."

Otago Witness, Issue 2456, 17 April 1901, Page 64

ONE DAY IN THE LIFE OF A PERSONAL REPRESENTATIVE."

LIFE BEHIND THE SCENES. "I am ceitamly growing thin," said Mr Alfred Whitman, contemplating himself ruefully in his mirror; "thin and haggaid. And by George! there are crows' feet coming round my eyes-." IJe shaved lnmself vigorously for a moment, then paused, with the razor delicately poised in the air. "Well, do you wonder?" said he, addr =< 5-ing an invisible audienc?. "Do you wonder when you know what a dog's life I lead? The only unuvel to me is that I am not blind and deaf and duniib, and halt and maimed, and a gibbering idiot, and a dnvelHng imbecile Having delivered himself of this ftaicment, Mr Whitman avraeired to tiow a trine le.-s despairing, and finished hi^ toilet withoi't any fuxthux outbursts of emotion. He seemed ©yea cheerful as lia descended

f>e hotel *t<>:is io his breakfast, but when Ins m i-l wjj handed him once moia a lock of gloom veiled hi^ fieshly shaven ruddy cheeks. '•Now the trouble begin*-,"' he muttered, as he lnst'ly toie open a note on thick blue p.) per, heavily pei fumed «md addressed in <> big, siciii-nli'ii^, fci.-hioiicble feminine hand. "Let me see you by 10 o'clock [ hmp," it ran. ".Something mii^t be done to end these outiages, or I shall go mad. If the systematic arrogance and in«u pel able insolence with which I am treated is not stopped at once I rhall bieak my contiact."' Mr Whitman sighed. Next he opened a business envelope vvith the stamp of a "vvel 1 known thcatie in it 1 * upper left-hand corner, and read .- — "Come in to-inouow about 11 and let v-» ; talk over matters. Your <=tar grows more 1 diabohc every hour. Something's goi to be done" It '^as signed by the aiyiniger. Mi- Whitman groaned. "Nic 3, plpa&ant, quiet morning I'm going to have," he muttered, as he t-Lppe-d hi& coffee. "What any &ane man. ever goes into the Ihejtuca! biwiup^s foi I can't imaqne. If I could I would go out novv and buy a cotton urrbrzlla and then go and camp out in a country givieyard for the lest of my life. It would be so much more a^ies^blti'p'id comfortable " "Bat Mr Whitman rinisiierl his hieakfp?t and hi-> cigar, enjoying both tl s long as possible. "Now to ia^e the music," he said, as he set forth to walk up BroadV.-y to the hotel where ihe sm whose personal repie-entutive he wjs lived. On the ■>> ay he met a prominent manager, who stopped" to greet him. "How are you. Whitman? How.-, business?" "Fine," ae^ponded the personal representative glibly. "House packed last night, standing room only." "Is there any truui in these rumours of a lively fight between you and the management?" "Not the slightest," leplied Mr Whitman, unbludiingly ; "'all prompted by envy, malice, and rll \incharitdbleness. Why. man, who couldn't get on with Miss iJawrence? She's the &wcetest-natiircJ, most amiable woman -"' "That's all right," inteirupted the other. And then he cocked his eje s-kly »"d ■wickedly at Whitman, adding: "I managed her ? season, my boy, and I've got a memory. Ta, ti." Mr Whitman continued his walk, chewing the bitter cud of iefle:non. "So he's on," he muttered ; "it won't be long before all Broadway know? it. She's as likely to take the bit in her teeth any minute and , bolt as she is to breathe. Well, I don"t ! much care. She's wearing me out." Mr Whitman waited in the star's parlour, j From her bedroom he could hear her voice — that voice of "liquid gold," as one of the j bast known of the dramatic critics had dubbed it — raised in petulant accents "She's in a bad humour," he said, and stared gloomily into his hat. Presently the door flew open with a bing, and out rushed a cyclone of pink silk draperies, gilded hair, kohied eyes, and sulky lips. "You were long enough coming." «he snapped ; "it's 10 minutes p.ist 10 now . Oh, don't say anything! I'm in no mood to be thwarted or contradicted. You have got to do something to put an end to these petty insults of Rutherford's. My artistic temperament cannot endure them. lam going to pieces, I tell you. Why don't you say something':" "How can IV he asked. "You told me to keep still." "lhat was a half-hour ago," she retorted. "Now talk, talk." "Well, what's the matter now?' the personal lepiesentative asked. "There you go, talking as if I were always complaining. Matter now? Matter enough, I should I had friends in front last evening, and sent my maid out with a note, and Rutheiford sent in woid I must stop it. He — that brute — that beast — am I a slave to Rutherford? — his prisoner? Or am I Estelle Lawrence, the finest emotional actress in the country, condescending to play at his miserable gingerbread theatre, where he never before hnd a first-class attraction?" A burst of hysteric tears and a lace-edged handkerchief here j came into play. "Well, well," said Whitman, soothingly. "Now, don't, my dear girl ; you'll make yourself ill. I'll see Rutheiford at once and have a talk him, and fix it all np. But you know no manager allows j notes back and forth." "If I cannot be allowed to communicate w-ith my friend*," sobbed the lady. "I might as well go to — to — tc — jai. — and be done with it." "There, there," sad the poor personal representative, still more sooth.ngly. "Of course it's very annoying, but really you mustn't give way so. Mane," to the maid, "bring some cologne and bathe Mi<-s Lawrence's head. And now, my dear, you'd better lie down and compose yourself. You won't be fit to appear this afternoon " And thus, having soothed one! coaxed and cajoled the fiir one into a semblance of composure, the wretched man set out for the theatre to take his. second close. ' l tell you, Whitman," said the angry manager, "your star has got the swelled head. Her notices have turned her head, and she isn't doing a thing but putting on airs. But don't forget it is the box office that talks. She's earning no money for us. You know the terms of our rontiact. I wish she would break it and get out. I'm sick and tired of her w hims and her devilish airs." "And so am I, ' thought the unfortunate personal representative. But aloud he said : "Thai's all right ; jou \e got to treat Miss Lawrence like a lady, or I'll know the rei 1 son why."' After more angry and futile talk the two separated, and Mr .Alfred Whitman felt that his exhausted frame requhed suppoit. So he went into a convenient cafe and otdeied one, t>vo, and thiee suppoits, which he drank as iapidl\ as powble. After this life looked somewhat brighter, and he leturner 1 to the theatie for the matinee- performance. During the fiist act a card was sent to him. He glanced at it and i^hl tiie name

of a weH-kn(<v\n womm. a special v.ntci for one oi the big Sunday papds. Again the look of gU' ( ,m descended on his countenance. But he sent out woid that he would -cc ihe lady. In tripped abu = ine^-1-ke little woman", with a m'lik, diidtcou^ <c\C3

"How do you do, Mi Whiiir.an?" -ne ■-. licl. "Ho> were you plea-ed w.th the pictuies Lc-t Sunaay?' "Why. f thought them very pood indeed, ' he said, he.-iratinglv ; "but ' "Didn't _\t>s L i"* rev.ee hk* them?" The newspaper worn in jumped quLkly to conclusion

"No; I can't say she did, ' said the pc;sonal lepiesentative. "She v. as veiy much iipset." "That's a pity. Peihnps I had better "•ae her. ' But Mi- Whitunn rose from h^ scat in alarm. "My dtar yojng lady. ' he said, tremulously," "pcrha^j, you hod b--ttei- not. J implore you, if you have .-ny coniin;.«-ei<i-tion for a suffering fellow b'jlng, keep ay.ay from Miss Law icnce. "Is it feo bad as tt?tv" laughed the nsnpaper woman. "It'v — it'& moi'^c,"' h.2 s -id. "Don't you know that actor? and di'tr-'- 1-^1 -^ arc jII ch:klren? And they've got to be coa.ced ahd cuddled and petted like children. MifLawrence declaies tho-c pictuics a.p a libel, and threatens to sue \our paper. So you'd

best not try io *cc her." At the d(.>e of the matinee Mr Whitnun w a c - Mirnmoned to h.:> - ai ■$ ihewnginoni. Her mad was jir iln-owmg lvi chinchilla-bordered m ntle over Ji^i thoulder^ as, he knocked.

"My phj'ici.m w<'^ ia front thi.- aficinoon, ' she"beg<m. "1 d like to know why he wasn't given a box? And what do the stage carpenter 4 ; m-n by kicking my dog out of the wings? Ai:d thai outragpovs Madame Chiffon has no^ sent my new co.--tuine. although the p^ij'ucd w.etch iv.oie it should be at my hotel by 1 o'clock. Now , unless I have that gown there'll be trouble "' " There never is anything else, ' thought the P.R.

"I want you to go to that frightful old dressmaker and get tJirt gown for me." "I m not a messenger ,-ov,'' began poor Whitman, but was inteiiapted.

"You can take your choice, Mr Alfred Whitman. Uo and get the gown and bring it to my hotel, or I do not play this evening. Thei c .'" Of courie, the gcntkmanlv repi tentative yielded the point, as he always d;d, and, .taking a cab, drove to the house of the dressmaker, upon w horn be emptied th-e vials of his wrath. The exquisite creation was hastily packed and carried out to tJie cab, and Mr Whitman and the gown started

for the hotel cf his star

It is best not to dwell upon the mental condition of the personal representative during this ride. He had ju^t d)me io the conclusion that he mu«t draw the line somewhere, when there came a tremendous ciaeh like the cnvk of dorm.

A cable car had struck the cab and overturned it. The hor«o ran ;uw,y, the driver was hurled ten feet, the personal repiestntalive was picked lip iir^on-sciou I*,1 *, Broadway wa« strewn with lacs and libbons and accordion pleating. At midnight the person.il lejireinnt.Jive opened his languid eyes and looked up into d s.\eet. serene iVje und°r a dan.ty wlnre cap.

"Sh !" said the own*>r cf this face Don't talk ; don't move."

"Where am IV" munm::ed the poor fellow. "In heaven?"

"So," came that soft low voice, the hospital. You were badly hurt."

The personal representative closed his eyes again. In the hospital? Baaly hint? Well, what matter?" He had sio"t been so comfortable for two months. He was penectly satisfied.— Xcw fork Heiald.