Clever Speech by a PAnper.

Otago Witness, Issue 2456, 10 April 1901, Page 69

Clever Speech by a PAnper.

At the meeting of the Ashby Board of Guardians one of the inmates, named Jackson, entered the room and thus thanked the members for their Christmas fare : —

Mr Chairman and Gentlemen,— l appear before you on behalf of the poor in this institution for providing us with an excellent dinner on the birthday of that Prince who has no less than 110 names, whose name is called Wonderful, Counsellor, th« 3 Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace. Of the increase of His Government there shall be no end. Add, gentlemen, you will have to keep thinking of thr> poor throughout genealogy, for the poor shall never cease from the land. lam summoned to return the humble and hearty thanks to you, gentlemen, of the sick and afflicted, the blind, and the deaf and dumb in this institution — "inasmuch as ye have done it unto these, the least of these My brethren, ye have done it unto Me" — and we hope that in a blissful eternity you will receive the blessed reward. There is an old adage that saith : "God sends victuals and the devil sends cooks." — (Laughter.) But gentlemen, God is always above the devil, and did not let his Satanic Majesty set his cloven foot in that direction on this territory on His last birthday. lam sure our food was well cooked, and great credit is due to our worthy master and matron, porter and porteress, in the matter lam now speaking of. I have also to thank you for the drop of John Barleycorn. — (Laughter.) They say bread is the staff of life, but the good old women say that a drop of good ale is life itself. — (Loud laughter.) I have also to thank) you, gentlemen, for the weed and snuff. When smoke arises from my pipe, Thus to myself I saj' Why should I anxious be for life Which vanishes away ? The social snuff-box does convey The same idea, just As if it silently does say Let's mingle dust to dust. (Renewed laughter and cheers.) I desire to return our best wishes to you, gentlemen, vvisbing you all a very happy and prosperous New Year in the twentieth century of grace. Wishing you buoyant health and ample wealth,

And may Jehovah bless your store ; We wish you heaven when you die,

What can we wish you. more? Will no man say Amen to this?

Well, then, I'll say Amen, And be both, priest and clerk myself —

Amen, Anien, Amen! — (Loud laughter.) The old man then retired.