Scheme Didn't Work.

Otago Witness, Issue 2454, 27 March 1901, Page 69

Scheme Didn't Work.

TRAVELLER TRIES TO HYPNOTISE THE CONDUCTOR. "I had a funny experience on the train coming in from Baltimore tho other day." said a guest at one of the hotels. "I hod gone into the smoking compartment to enjoy a quiet cigar and found a meek-looking young man, whom I sized up as a cl-erk from rame country store, sitting in the corner reading a little book. He had fishy, blue eyes, Ihin, sanely hair, plastered down over his forehead in a couple of inverted arched, and a chin that sloped inward like the undercut of a yacht. I paid 110 particular attention to him at first, but presently I became aware that I was being etared at, and glanced up to find that he had fixed me with his fifchy, blue eyes. I writhed under the infliction for a few moments, anu then got mad. "What the dickens do you mean, sir, by glaring at me in that fashion":" I demanded. He turned as red as a lobster. " ' Excuse me,' he stammered ; ' 1 didn't mean any offence. I was —well, to tell you the truth, I was just practising a little.' "'Practising!' I repeated in amazement; ' practising what?' " ' Why, practising hypnotism,' he replied ; ' I'm taking a mail course, and I want to see whether I'm developing any power. I think I've got the conductor partly uncle 1' control right now,' he added, confidentially. "I thought for a moment 1 had a lunatic on my hands, but I saw he was thoroughly in earnest, and, for the sport of the thing, processed to draw him out. .Tml as I had surmijsd, he was a country clerk, and, according to his story, he had recently received a circular from some fakir who claimed to be able to leach hypnotism in 10 easy lessons by irail. The lessons were 2.50c10l apiece, and he was then 01* the fourth, which was contained in the little booklet he was leading.

The 'professor" advised him to practice contmuaily. he said, and for that reason he had given me the ancient manner glare that first at racted my attention. he wJ n ™« wo^the £ nductor c' ver eince j ton board> £nd I am tt sure he is now in what we call t j ie Jemi-tranca state.' "<j) ol >3 the conductor know what you have been doin??' I ssked, repressing a violent deg; re to guffaw. " ' Oh, no' he replied. ' I have merely looked him in the eye, according to rule 6, and made

a few slight passe 3 when he went by for tickets.' "I remembered the conductor as a strapping 1 big fellow, morose-looking," continued the

story-teller, "and I couldn't resist the chance of having some fun. 'Suppose you make some test next time he comes in,' I suggested, I 'and. see whether you really have him under 1 the influence.'

" ' That is exactly what I was thinking of doing,' said the young man. I warmly ap-

tieularly gruff and holding a bunch of tickets in his hand. " 'Conductor,' said I when he appeared at the door, ' will you please step in for a moment?' " ' Now's your chance !' I added in a whisper to the hypnotist. "'Well, what is it?' a a 'ked the big chap, coming into the compartment and glancing around. I could see my companion was making a desperate effort to put on a bold front. "' My friend,' he said, pretty firmly, 'what is that you have in your hand?' " ' Tickets !' replied the conductor;, in a tone of surprise. " ' 01), no, they're not," said the hypnotist : ' they are lizards — two small, green lizarcU !' " ' Lizards !' he roared. " ' Ye=, lizards I ,' said the young man, rather faintly; 'don't you see them wriggling?' "'You're crazy!' retorted the conductor. Ike hypaolist tiirued p*!^ and edged back,

into his corner. 'Don't get mad,' he^pleaded; " it's all right ; I only ' "'Now, look here, young fellow.' said the conductor, cutting him short, ' I've been noticing you ever since you got on this train, ard I'd advise you to change your brand of whisky. If you don't you're going to wake up in the tremens ward of some hospital, and you'll see all kincla of lizards and snakes and monkeys with tin hats en. What's the matter with him, anyhow V lie dciratidcd, turning to me. I way so shaken with internal laughter that I could hardly reply. '" ' The gentleman i-. all right,' I managed to say ; ' I'll attend to him for the rest of the trip.' "'Well, look rut for yourself.' said the conductor, gloomily; 'you tavTl tell whnt a man's liable to do when ho get> in that fix.' After he had taken his departure my hypnotic friend heaved a sigh of relief. "' I can't undo stand it,' he said. *I went exactly according to directions, as, you can see for yourself. Maybe, though,' he added, ' I ought to have commenced by freeing down his eyelids and saying "(Sleep !"' The book say^ that it is necessary in &ome eas-es. ' I advised him not -to try it unless he had his Jife hea\ily insured and wanted to collect the policy. Then I let myself loose and lay back and .roared until I nearly thiew the train off the tracli. The, young man looked hurt, and while I was still in convulsions he got up with dignity and withdrew to the day coach. I didn't fee him again. I think, however, that he will suspend further ex-ncrimen-ts until ho pets ac far, at least, a3 lesson eight" — New Orleans Times Democrat.