Mother and the Kids: TO BE READ QUICKLY.

Otago Witness, Issue 2433, 31 October 1900, Page 69

Mother and the Kids: TO BE READ QUICKLY.

At 6 in the morning mother begins: "Jack are you up yet? Well, get up then, or I'll shift you with the strap — this blessed fire — I can't light it — Rube, bring pome shavin's or I'll break your nee'r. There's the bakei — take the bread first. Bert — -Bert ! — why don't you answer 'me? Aren't you dressed yet? — hurry up then and bring some water for this kettle. Rube ! i don't want them now the fire's alight — fill this kettle and put it on the fire. Bob, leave that pup alone and get your boots laced or I'll thrasn you. There's Ihe milk — and not a clean jug in the house ! Quick — the man's waiting- — get it in anything. There's the dipper — that'll go. Put it on. the table and shU; that door — confound it!

"Jack.! Hold this pan 'and don't let the meat burn. Watch that tcsst and tell me when the kettle boils. Look what you're doing, now — or I'll smack you on the ear. Rube, look at that fowl on the table — at the bread — shoo — shoo — there ! the only butterdish is broken ! Who lett that door open? Rube, why didn't you put that bread away? Didn't L tell you? ("No.") You'll contradict me, will you? Take that, and that, and that. Lay still— stop howling (biff), or I'll murder you — stop, fetop ! ! (biff) — now go outside. Bert, pick up tnat broken glass and throw it outside and don't cut your fingers. Bob! Bob ! Where's that kid? Bob— l'll make you come quicker another time — did you clean your father's boots. Take them into him then. Is that boiling? Empty the teapot then. Quick! your ialher'll be late. Gome oii^ Dad; rit down — your breakfast'll get cold.* The milk's in the dipper. Jack, see if the paper's conic yet. V^ell, you fool — bring it in, your father wants it ; shut tb.pt dcor and roll up the window-blind, some of you, so your father can see. Stick a pin in it, then —what a fool the kid is ! Back ovt of the road and come down — I'll do it myself. Bring the teapot off the hob and don't bcald yourself. Now find your father's hat and tuclrerbag. That's not his working-hat; find the other. Now go an' get wasaed the lot of you. Here, Jack, get that letter off the mantelpiece — don't knock those vases down — and give it to your father to po&t. It's no good that way — get a stamp out of the clock, and put one on it, and see you don't stop the clock. I dunno where the soap is — go and look for it. Here, /you boys — blacken your boots before you wash — Bert, find some paper, to wrap your father's lunch in. Bob, how many times have I told you not to blacken your boots on tho doorstep. Pick up that school-book — think I've got nothing else to do but buy you books to throw about the lioor ! Take it off the dinner-table, and put it in your schoolbag. Hunt that fowl out — shoo ! — and shut that door. Aren't you washed yet? Hurry up, then, or you'll get no breakfast. There ! your father hasn't taken that letter now — Jack, see you take it when you're going to school — don't forget it, or I'll hammer you. Sit up in your places, now, and get your breakfast. Did you comb your hair, Bert? — well, go and do it. Bob, take your elbows off the table — Jack, don't be feeding that pup turner the table. Have you done your breakfast, Bert? Well, go an' feed the fowl?. Bubo, what have you got your hand to your head for?— let me soe. Well, you shouldn't be a naughty boy, an' mother wouldn't beat you. Never mind, there's a penny to buy acane crackers with. 80l) — good-bye, Rube (lasses him) ; there, on. Rube, you get your bag out. Jack, where' s your hat? liave you got that letter? All right now — oft you go to school. It's half-past 8, and you'll be late again. Good-bye, JacV — good-bye, Bert — good-bye, Bob — good-bye, 'Rube (kiise o him) ; there, mummy didn't mean to hit you so hard. Run off to school now, like a good boy. Shut the iront gate, and don't let the pup out. Good-bye, all. Well, I'll have a cup of tea ineself now." — "Tub Beggae," in the Bulletin.