Mr Dooley on Killing Kings.

Otago Witness, Issue 2430, 10 October 1900, Page 70

Mr Dooley on Killing Kings.

"Why should army man want to kill a king?" said Mr Dooley. "That's what I'd like to know. Little gredge have I again army monarch in th' deck Live an' let live's me motto. Th' more ye have in this wurruld th' less ye have. Make in wan place, lose in another's, th' rule, me boy. Little, joy, little sorrow. Takin' it all an' all I'd rather be where I am thin on a throne, an' be th' look iv things I'll have me wish. 'Tia no aisy job bein' a king barrin' th' fact that; ye don't have to marry th' woman iv yer choice, but th' woman iv somebody else's. 'Tis like takin' a conthract an' havin' th_' union furnish th' foreman an' th' mateeryal. Thin if th' wnrruk ain't good a wild-eyed man fr'm Patterson, Noo Jarsey, laves his munkcy an' his hand organ an' takes a shot at ye. Thank th' Lord I'm not so big that army man can get comfort fr'm. pumpin' a Winchester at me fr'm the top iv a house. But if I was a King ne'er an organ grinder 'd get near enough me to take me life with a Hotchkiss gun. I'd be so far away fr'm th' muititood 1 , Hinnissy, that they cud on'y distinguish me rile features with a spy glass. I'd have polismen at ivry tur'rn, an' I'd have me subjick's letire to th' cellar whin I took me w£^k. Divyle a bit wud ye catch me splattherin? mesiif with morthar an' stickin' newspapers in a hole in a corner shtone to show future gin'rations th' progress iv crime in this chinchry. Thay'd lay their own corner-shtone f'r all iv me. I'd communicate with th' pop'lace be means iv ginral ordhers, an' I'd make it a thing worth tellin' about to see th* face iv th' gr-reat an' good King Dooley."