COSY CORNER CLUB.

Otago Witness, Issue 2425, 5 September 1900, Page 58

COSY CORNER CLUB.

SECOND SESSION— SIXTH MEETING.

TOPIC.

The friendship of men and women. Is it possible for simple friendship to reach real perfection between men and women without any adniixtxire of warmer feeling? Which do you consider most helpful and beneficial to character — friendship between persons of the same or opposite sexes? Should boy and girl friendships be encouraged?

My Dear Comrades, — To-day's topic has proved its popularity by eliciting a very large meeting .of members. There are, indeed, so xfany papers to be read that it will be impossible for me to- pursue my usual plan of individual -comment, -for there- are limits : the editor has not quite given me "carte blanche" about space. 1 shall therefore on this occasion spare you my usual interruptions, and listen with interest "to- all you have to say ; afterwards you will lik-a to hear the views oiN-some celebrated persons on the topic under discussion. First, however, I must ask you to join me in welcoming quite a number of new members, for each and all of whom, I am sure, we shall find a "cosy corner." "Pippin," "Plato," "Scotia," "Sheila,""Nigel," "Loo," and "Iris" all join us to-day for the first time, and-'prove themselves interesting members. With the long list before us, then, let us eet to work. EMMELINE. Dear Emmeline, — There are dc-grees in Platonic affection as in most things, and a wo- | man may surely, with parfect propriety, enjoy the friendship or her niale acquaintances much in the same way as she does that of her women friends. Uuo when a man and a woman single one another out as. "bosom friends and coafi&mts, then, in my opinion, there is an eleme.it of danger, and such a friendship is, for many reasons, better avoided. If both are single and of suitable ages, nc harm is likely to ba done ; they will probably end by marrying; but if the woman is much the elder, very incongruous marriages are apt to take place. The Baroness Burdett-Coutts is probably a case in point, and I well remembeia friend of mine remarking appiovingly of a youthful bridegroom just returned fioni his Jioaeynioon with 'an elderly bride, " How attentive that young man -is to his niotber! " . Bur il one or bcfcli are married, the case is different. Besides the danger ol one or other drifting into love, there, .s the almost inevitable jealcrasy of the husband or wife to bo taken into consideration, as well as the censorious tongue of Mrs Grundy.. ■ People who themselves have impure minds are apt to put an evil construction on such conduct, especially on the woman's part ; and she .nay rest assured that be she as chaste as ice and as pure as snow, she shall not escape calumny. A girl should remember, too, that such ' an affection may satisfy and absorb hex to the'esclusion of other inteiests.- -She may look with an indifferent eyß on other men, and hesitate to .marry for fear of breaking up this intimacy ; and, to my mind, the best of such friendships is, to an equal marriage with strong love on both sides, but %< as moonlight is to sunlight ; or as water unto wine." COUNTRY MOUSE. Dear Emmeline, — " The grace of friendship — mind and heart Linked with their fellow mind and heart," is, according to William Watson, one of the " Good's in Life's rich hand — The things that are more excellent,"' and purely no one save the most confirmed recluse will quarrel with rhe truth of such astatement. The existence of a real friendship between persons of opposite sexes is, I believe, quite possible under favourable circumstances ; but Mrs Grundy is apt to sneer at such a belief and doubt the Platonic nature of the sentiment. Doubtless this incredulity en Ihe part of mutual friends is the leason why plenty of men and women who would otherwise have been quite ! content to remain excellent friends have either "dropioed"' each other entirely, or taken upon themselves the bonds of matrimony. Philosophers, after making a lifelong study of human nature, have strongly upheld the reality of pure friendship between man and woman, and the very ns>me "Platonic love" is derived from the name of "that giant in the intellectual world who in a by-gone age so ably advocated its existence. In mythology and history we find recorded the friendships of Hercules and lolaus, Theseus and Pirithous, Damon and Pythias, David and Jonathan. Goethe and Schiller, and although I cannot at the present moment recall any striking examples of friendships between men and women, I have no doubt such existed without being handed down to fame. Perhaps historians, being mostly men, did not think them worth recording, or refrained through jealousy. I know you admire Seton Merriman very much, so I venture to quote rather extensively from one of his novels: — " Vate had brought them together at the rare rioment, and in almost the sole circumstances that allow of a friendship being formed between a man and a wor man. It was, moreover, one of those positions which will not bear being defined in so many words. Between men and women it often happens that to point out the existence of certain feelings is to destroy them. To say ' be niy friend,' as often ns not makes friendship im- , possible. . . . t It is unwise to enter into war or friendship without, seeing to the reserves." I consider that friendship between man and women is very ofcen most beneficial to both parties: the man gaining something of the woman's refinement and delicacy of feeling, and the woman knowing that m him she cfm rely on finding manly strength and strict honour and integrity. -"The tidal wave of deeper souls Into our inmost being rolls, And lifts us unawares Out of-all meaner cares. - Honour to those whose words nnc! cleeda Thus help us in our daily needs. And by their overflowRaise us from what is low." •—Longfellow. I am, elc, / . LOIS'. k< • 7 • • Dear Emmeline, — To jour first question in iliis meeting I am decidedly inclined to say "' No; unless there is great disparity of age." The friendship of Petraroh and La Noves

was perfect and very beautiful"; but it had more than ' an admixture rf warmer feeling. * Swift's friendship for Stella was Platonic, tiiough he married her. She had an infinitely warmer feeling towards him. But such instances might be multiplied nrcndmgly. The last phase of your question, I think, depends chiefly on character. Taking the average boy and girl, friendship is beneficial to both. It gives refinement and chivalry to the boy, bravery and sense to the girl. This narrows me to the centre question, where the number of the friends comes into consideration. If a man or woman could have but one friend, 1 think that friend would naturally be of the same sex. To understand, help, and truly sympathise with anyone, it is necessary to have somewhat the same nature. The difference in the nature of men and women, and in their ordinary lives, makes it impossible for them to look at the majority of things from the same standpoint. But to bring out the best 4 hat is ir. a. person, I think it is needful to have friends of both sexes, and many of them. Association with men has a tendency to broaden a woman's outlook, to enlarge her ideas, and give her a clearer and mors comprehensive grasp of life's generalities. A man who has nothing in common with women has a chance of becoming v icourtly, selfcentred, and rough in mind and manner. "Man is the head, woman is the heart," and by a judicious culling of both from our friends, we may, I think, hope to gain the highest and the widest good. TED. • • • . t Dear • Emmeline,— l once rcn-ember reading with much amusement of some women* whose hatred of men wag very intense, one especially, who, at -the time of her death, was preparing- a patent for the extermination of man 1 ! I do' not think -there are many of us who would so ruthlessly destroy our male acquaintances. Many of iis have been. brought~up in close companionship from early childhood. ~SVq played together as children, passed our schooldajrs together, and now, when we are no longer children, the same familiar friendship exists, rarely addressing one another but by our Christian names. I have no doubt instances may be given of simple fiiendships of this description lipening nilo a deeper love; indeed, 1 know peopJe who hold the opinion that it cannot be otherwise; but I beg to differ from \hcm. Speaking for myself, I have men friends who&e friendship I value most' highly, and which I think ha 3 reached perfection without any admixture of warmer feeling. As to which is most beneficial to character, friendship between persons o' the same or op- j posite sexes, it depends largely upon our choice of companions. One csunot httfe l>'e richer and ! better .of a good man's friendship ; the some applies to a woman. Each, if I may use another's phrase, "has" a garden of his or her own. v . ' But, as you remarked, ths opinions of men thsmselves upon this subject will be very acccntable, and I await them with interest. HEAIHEE. <*•• • ■ . Dear Enimcline, — "For some thue I have been intending to become a member of yoiir C.C.C., btit various reasons have so far kept me from writing — not "the least one being the fact that one always feels a little diffident at setting' thoughts down which will, in course of time, perhaps appear in print. Our opinions then seem so irrevocable that we, almost qiuver to sea them. However, to ltturn from my preamble, this month's topic is, tis you yourself remarked in a recent issue, such a fascinating, ; one that I at last determined to make the plunge and become, if so it pleased her, -one of, Emmeline' s correspondents. There is not a shadow of doubt that the topic is a fascinating one, and it too often, alas! proves an extremely fascin iting theme of eon- 1 vejsation among oiir "friends and neighbours." Does it not segm. disappointing that a man and a woman, can very seldom form a downright honest, genuine- friendship with eacu other without receiving the adverse criticisms of their immediate acquaintances ? I • ertainly think that perfect friendship can exist between men and women " without (to use your own phase) any admixture of warmer feeling." And to prove my opinion, I shall proceed on what mar perhaps be a rather unusual line, but one which ssemsto me to lead right !o the root of the subSupuose that we were to go to a school teacher, for instance, and ask her (you see, I am presupposing that all your correspondents are ladies) whether she preferred teaching boys or girls. I have done this repeatedly, and the answer in the majority of cases has been that "they preferred teaching boys. The why and the wherefore seems a mystery, tmtil one hears her observations and experiences <jn the matter. 'She will tell' us that, unless a boy is thoroiighty bad and depraved, she can always appeal to some higher feeling within him that will respond to a. word or even a mere look. She can" work upon this responsive feeling to an extent that a man in her place could never 1 hope to do. Her boys, if she r.os.sesses_this power over them, will never do the petty little things to annoy her that Cue girls of her class would do. Now, Emmeline, dear, T do hope that you will not think from that last sentence that I wish to depreciate ->iy own sex,, but it seems to. me that the very fact of the presence of what may be called this chivalrous feeling in the boy — who, we know, " is father of the man," shows that there can very often be a more perfect affinity between those of opposite saxes than' between those of the same sex. A frindship between, man and woman seems a fuller, richer, deeper thing than a mere everyday friendship between lavo women. The intsllects and temperaments of men and women are" po differently constructed, that each can sapply what the other lacks. EPow often a woman requires the strength and hehi which a man can supply, and which can only be supplied by a true friend who understands all our moods and tenses; and, again, on the other hand, how often a. man requires the sympathy which only si true womanly woman can extend, and which he would hardly know that he reouired until he felt it, and certainly would not dream of asking from one of the sterner sex! So that friendship, in its highest sense of symMsthetic understanding, 1 can and does exist, I think, between men and women of to-day — fvipndship<? that they would not forego for anything—and yet these -same men and women would, be the ones most fuvprised if any warmer lie than that of friendship neve suggested to them. We have all heard those people who say dogmatically, " Simple friendship between men and women is uttely impossible. If it is a man that makes the remark, he will add " for the woman is mre to fall in love, ancC on the other hand, if it is a woman speakinsr. she will eav, ' for the man 'is sure to fall in love. But we can afford to ignore these remarks and still adhere to our opinion that there cen he no more uerfpet friendship." nor one nibre beneficial, thaii that formed between, man and woi Well, "Eminelme, T havp already transgressed ! po far unon vowr PDace that I really have not the haa-dihood to do so ony farther by discussing the latter part of your topic, excopt_to say that I heartily approve of boy and girl friendship. You will always notice that a girl • /ho has beeu brought up with a, houseful of "brothers is far broader in her views and has Tar less " humbuc " about her (as a rule) than a, girl who has had as companions only those of her own sex. There may be a risk of her being a "tomboy," but that, I think, _ generally disappears as she grows older and mixes with ' ordinary refined society. But if I allow my i nan to lun on* as I should like to, I am afraid

I shall be refused admittance ( altogether, ancE that would b6 a heavy punishment. " However,, depending on my character as a " new chum "• to recommend me to. your mercy for having esA ceeded, the 300 words limit,— l remain, etc.,

PIPPIN. - * c c a Dear Emmeline, — To begin, like Alice of Looking-glass fame, at the end of your quesT tion, it seems to nic that boy and girl friendships are, on the whole, a good thing; that is, taking the average boy tnd the average girl, who think far more of sports and general "fun"than anything sentimental. For from her boy friend a girl learns healthy outdoor amusements, a spirit of independence, and a fearlessness for little things that would upset many a, schoolgirl miss ; while 'in return she teaches him to be more courteous end thotightful to women, and in consequence he is less shy andi awkward with stangers lhan the youth who ne\ er speaks to a girl if he can help it. " But boys unfortunately grow up to be men, and friendship is a word of c-iastic interpretation," and as they leave school to pass the magic line from children to "grown-ups," the old sports could hardly be carried on in the same old way; for "' what wo aid Mrs Grundy say? " So probably the once-time chums would either drift apart, or their friendship would wax into something more sentimental ; " for is there such & thing as Platonic friendship between those who meet frequently? . And this brings me to the second part of your qiiestion, where X unhesitatingly answer that a friend of our own sex i'a best when we grow -out. of childhood; that is. taking but one friend, for surely the friend that - lies closest to our heart .must always be 'of our O7D sex. - We may, or" course, have Mother friends^ and. a^doboys and girls, ed^inay men./' •'and- women learn much good-* from each .other: But it seems to me that "the,- friend ' who sticketh- closeiv. than a - in-other " -must- alwaysbe, to a woman, a woman, and- to a man, a man* ■ - . >• - - •- > •.-->'.>• , g'stib. -' « « a « .

Dear Emmeline, — The tubject of friendship between man and woman is one which has been. discussed to a great extent, especially in our ,ov;n day. Some people s.ay that it is an impossibility for a man and a woman to reach a. state of perfect friendship without an admixture of a warmer feeling, while others hold that such a state is possible. For my own part I cannot sec why il should be -such an impossibility; but still, experisnee has proved to me' that the cases are the exceptions, not the rule. I think the cause in many cases lies not witli the people concerned, so much' as with "piVblic opinion," that idol before whom so-many of us bow whenever a man and a woman are noticed xo be on friendly terms ; at once the friends of both begin to talk and insinuate, till before long a whisper reaches the ears oi the unfortunate pair, who, to save leing niisxmderstocd! by others, drift apart bfefore getting a chanco o£ becoming real friends. I think it is such a pity; for a true friendship between man and woman is, I consider, beneficial to both. A man's ideas as a iule are more forcible, broader, and more practical than a 1 woman's, and stimulate her; whilst the woman's influence on the man is re*' fining and elevating. She also has the- "power of intuition, and canholp'the man to see thrdugK" both people and things. I remember a gentleman telling me once bhat if men would be cuided, by .women in the choice of- their friends they would, seldom err. Then,, again, men have many temptations in this world, and the friendship oi a good, true woman has been- the saving ' of naanj' a, man. I-f ,we could all-be-brave"-enough 10-ignore '" what people say," and select as our friends from cither sesr those who are suited to help us -ir> the* formation oi our character, things would be better, and tho world become purer. As to boy and girl friendships.' when deemed suitable by those *in authority, TL certainly think they should be encouraged. Some people have a foolish habit' of teasing even: __ children about "sweethearts "' Let them, rather pucourage their boys find girls to use their in-^ flueuce for,good with all with whom they come in. contact, f-nd form real, true friendships, leaving the development of Midi in God's hands. and then we need ,not fear the re? ult. And if friendship- does ripen into love, it is - v not a very serious affair. Better' that- than marriages we sometimes see. -where there is neither love nor friendship — husband and wife withoufe a single idea in common. Who can imagine anything more dreadful than that? I doubt if T have made my meanins plain, but I thought I would like to write a 'ew lines on this subiect. Allow me also to fate this opportunity of congratulating you on the success of your pape. which is becoming r-ver more interesting and helpful. SCOTIA.

( Dear Emmeline, — Should boy and girl friencti ship be encouraged? Most assuredly — to the I pure all things are- pure, and who more pure than children, or what purer than friendship? Bui to encourage it involves an amount' of responsibility which — let us regret — many are unwilling to undertake. Every mother knowa how easily a child's mind is awakaned, and how beautiful are the dawnings of .Reason. What purer than -the first smile into mother's face? What holier thaa the first lisp into mother's ear? She knows the purity; "she 'feels the hcliress; therefore on her devolves the re-; sponsibility ' of keeping 'both pure r and ' holy. Yet how careless many are. Only the other day a* little girl of eight summers — I was nearly writing winters — blushed at something her 1 mother said (which 'no mother ought to have said, much less in the hearing of a child). Think of it, and let each of us feel the sorrow ' of it. ' Eight years hence there will be a young woman who has forgotten how to blush. ! Woman's rights, say you! This is one of we man's most holy rights — io make the ways of Virtue the path to Friendship. This taint of carelessness reaches every one of us; maybe in not so harsh a form as the foregoing, yet no less unpardonable. What mother would not be angry with anyone who dared waken her -baby by shouting rudely? — rather would she have the little one roused by some soft strain; such as mother happened to be -crooning, so that baby' would scarcely know the • difference' between her voice and the song of 'his dreaming. Yet how many are aroused out of babyland' by a 'jumble of figures on a blackboard and the jangling of a' school bell! Yes, I d 6 believe in higher education. There is no' measured height to intellect ; wisdom is a summitleas mountain. Are these not reasons why we should look well to the foundation training of those whose names we wish to see notched on the greatest eminence? Infant prodigies are generally humbugs. How many babies nowadays delight in the fairy tales which should make childhood a paradise? They scofi at Jack and the Beanstalk. They -have no wonderful lamp, the touching of which conjures up the great -genii; no little Miss Moochers to dreso dolls for them — ah !- what a dear, good; little Moocher it was, with all its care and hearU sickness, to dress such bewitching • queens for babyland! What a pity that even one of ouH littli girls should deem " Alice in Wond.erland" silly. Soon the sa\ne reasoning will make all she comes in contact with silly. ' Life will be to her a hollow sham; tliere will be/no oasis in its desert;^ where, in, sweet Longfellow's words: "The night shall be, filled with, music* "" ; • And the- cares that infest the "day Shall fold their tents like, Arabs, . i And as silently steal away." Our little ones are taught to scoff at anything less logical than v Euclid or learned ( than Webpter. We have .mannikins in Standard X S0 muddle-brained . a-nd- nurthlasa. aa ,to .makej UjL

hate the very name of Education System. System, mothers! there is too much system about it. What are you thinking about to allow your children to be robbed of their tiny moment at the gates of paradise to afford them a few more hours in the company of Dives? Yoa are the best teachers that ever lived ; home the best schoolroom. Be the teachers of their 'greatness; teach them reverence; teach them it earnestly. They are the lilies of your journey, that toil nor spin not. But they shall toil, and some day, perchance, spin noble deeds into the web of Life. . Shall you not, then, consider "the lilies, that the spirit of the age, pondering on their beauty, may vow that " Solomon, in all his glory, was not arrayed like one of these." Their friendship shall be a blessing as widely recognised as sunshine, and we shall watch its budding in our little ones as aageily as for the crocus of spring. BOY FRIEND. • • . . . Dear Emmeline, — It is rather difficult to determine what is entitled to be called " perfect friendship." Aristotle defined friendship as " one soul inhabiting two bodies." But such friendship as ' this is indeed rare. One may claim far less unison of thought and feeling, far less fusion of interests and sympathy as necessary for true friendship, and yet find it rare. What does duty for friendship is with many, both men and women, a very'lukewarm affair, depending more on mutual convenience than" on true attachment. Friends of this sort are wholly _ severed by removal or change of circumstances. But '" true " for moi:e *' perfect," friendship, whether between' men, between women or between man and woman, implies warm, .if not ardent or passionate, feeling, and yet is distinct fioni what is ordinarily known as love. I take it for granted 'uhen that by perfect friendship between men and women you mean_ something more than the ordinary friendliness and good-fellowship which one may often see where men and women are thiown much together. I should say that friendship of the deeper kind is possible, but Tare. Often it may appear to exist for a time, and then give place to the " warmer feeling." •There must, as a rule, be less freedom of inter-* course and less community of interest between men and women than between those of the same sex. Conventions must be respected; though they may sometimes seem burdensome. And apart from necessary conversation one must allow for the vulgar and foolish habit of settingdown two young .people as in love or carrying on flirtation if they show the slightest pleasure in each other's societs'. Dread of this kind of talk doubtless checks the formation of many a pleasant and useful friendship. The same reason must impede still further the formation of friendships where either the man or woman is married. And, however firmly the v wifa or husband may be assured of the honour and loyalty of the other, a manifest preference and admiration for another woman or man cannot but cr.use jealousy and heartburnings. We see this in the case of the Carlyles. In some cases, also, what might seem for a long time Platonic friendship results in marriage, when circumstances allow, as with John Stuart Mill and Mrs Taylor. Probably if a man and a woman really care very much for one another they will usually be drawn towards marriage. Take the case of two such high and ideal natures as the Brownings. If one or both -had been married before they met, they might have formed a strong friendship, but they could not have been so helpful to one' another as when married. There may be more cases of strong friendship without love between men and women where there is much difference of ags than where the two are more on an equality. Probably the change in modern life, by which women and men are thrown so much more together as fellow-workers, with common aims and sympathies, is doing much to favour strong and warm friendships between them, which may sometimes result in love and marriage at their best; sometimes remain true friendship only. ALPHA. Dear Emmeline, — As I am very much interested in the topic chosen for this meeting I venture to ask for- a place in the charmed circle of the C.C.C. To question (1) '• Is it possible for simple friendship to reach real perfection between men and women without any admixture of warmer feeling?" I answer without hesitation, yes. Of course, both the man and the woman musfc-be gifted with^a goodly supply of that most valuable — virtue, shall I say? — common sense. In each there must be, at least, one special trait worthy of admiration and respect. If we do not respect a person we cannot be a tiue friend to that person. To ensure lasting friendship there must be mutual sympathy and interest in one or more subjects. By that I- do not mean unfailing agreement of opinions re the subject or subjects; that would be very uninteresting, and not at all educative. The. next question, ''Which is more beneficial anJ. helpful to character — friendship between persons of the same or of opposite sexes?" I fmj rather more difficulty in answering. Temperament seems to me to be, in this connection, a more important factor than sex. The majority of- people have more friends of their own than of the opposite sex, and I think this- is well for the majority. There are certainly exceptions; this also is well, for the -exceptions are very often more important than the non-exceptions. At all e\ents, I think it highly advisable to have at least one real friend of the opposite sex. It is well tc be able to look at many questions from the points of view — some'iSnes wide as the poles asunder — of both sexes, and this cannot be done unless we are veiy well acquainted with the real views of the opposite sex, as we are with those of our own. We cannot expect ever to know the views of the other sex quite as well as we know those of our own, but we can, thiough friendship — true and faithful — come very near this desirable state: It is quite certain (you agree with me here, do you not?) that friendship between persona of opposite sexes broadens the views more than friendship between persons of the same sex. and surely this is no small gain. Still, let the temperaments be suited to one another. I don't think we need worry much about the sex. Question No. 3, "Should boy and girl friendships be encouraged?" I find it impossible to answer by " Yes " or " No." A boy and girl friendship may be productive of so much good, or the reverse, that it is a question requiring grave consideration. Were all our boys and girls noble, highsouled, endowed with moral courage far above ihe average, I should certainly answer No. 3 by " Yes " ; but, alas ! such is unfortunately not the case, therefore we must needs be circumspect and wary in encouraging the development of friendship between them. I should ceTtainly not prohibit their friendship without very good cause; neither should I encourage it without good cause. -Between a boy and a girl, each with pronounced intellectual and moral qualities, I should encourage friendship, and expect both the boy and the girl to derive much benefit and real enjoyment from the friendship, but •without these qualifications I most certainly would not encourage it. SHEILA. « c a » » Deal- Emmeline, — Platonic friendship, once a thing smiled at as an impossibility, is so no logger-. -Women find it quite possible to be on tsrms of friendlj companionship with" a. man,

constrained, and very often the old friendly footing is at an end. It js the same with boy and girl friendships; their schoolfellows tease them, and very often older people who should know better ; silly ideas are thus put into their heads, and the friendship that might have done so much good to both ,"s turned into ridicule and nonsense. In my opinion boys and girls caii . do each other far more good than people imagine, that is, if the friendship is real and sincere. Of course, if it is only a common flirtation, it can do no good, and may often do harm ; but real friendship, sincere- and generous, is one of God's best gifts. * It is hardly necessary to encourage boy and girl friendships; in fact, in one sense they need no encouragement ; but if one knows they are doing harm, they should be discouraged, if possible. Real friendship between boys and girls is very rare — plenty of idle flirtations, but it is not often that one comes across a friendship pure and lasting. X 1 is the same with! men and women. The sooner men and women find out how much they can help one another, and not hinder, the better it -will be; and the world will be a brighter and a purer place, and life more worth the living. MARGARET. *• • « • ■ .. Dear Emmeline, — I have chosen as my subject the third and last division of your question. I certainly think girl and boy friendships should be encouraged — with certain lestrictions — and that the friendship is of infinite value to both girls and boys. Girls, through want of experience and the tender, watchful care 'hat shields them from contact with all things rough and disagreeable in life, are too often narrow and uncharitable in judging. Friendship with boys bioadens their' views considerably, and in consequence they 'unfold gradually and gain in sympathy and patience. But the boys, I think, gain the greater benefit, and life is dark and desolate indeed for tliose who have no girl friends. Boys are naturally ambitious, and all their attention is taken up with parrying, turning, and managing circumstances, in a laudable endeavour to gain superiority and perfection in business. As a result, they are well trained in energy and foresight — cardinal virtues in a business man. Without the refining influence of girl friends, they are in clanger of developing into stem, hard-headed business men, with little sympathy in anything outside of their own particular business. With girl friends there is little danger of +hi,s, and the constant demands made upon them, prove a healthy dis- , cipliae in patient endurance and 'eelf-deniaU

I Schreiner's Tant Sanny who, when a husband 1 dies, says, " The Lord gave, the Lord hath ' taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord," 1 and she looks for another. True, Tant Sanny was a creation of the novelist, but her " sisters and her cousins and her atmts" are with us in the flesh. ! If I were compelled to attempt a definition, I think -I should say that a man's friendship for a woman, taken at its best, is love purified of its selfishness: -io? though the fact is not j always recognised, what is commonly called love is generally an adulterated article. It contains, among other ingredients, an element j of selfishness, the desire to "have and to hold for one's own particular use and benefit," at least I think so, but, then, I don't profess to have any knowledge of the subject. It is called ' friendship, is it not, when you see a man accept a subordinate position in the regard of i the gill he likes best, because he knows it to be her will, and perhaps believes it to be for her good that someone else should .be first, and still finds a pleasure in doing what he can to give her pleasure ? On the other hand r it is . said to be '" disappointed love " that turns the cold shoulder or worse when it fails to obtain prioiity of place. Now, I would be inclined to call the former a case of love, and the latter one of selfishness ; for love, I phould think, would make one willing to sacrifice one's, own pleasure, or even one's own good, for the good or the pleasure of the per&on loved; but then, you see, I don't know anything abouii I it — I am only seeking after knowledge. ' Your idea of friendship between men and ■ women is beautiful to contemplate, no doubt, j but" do you think it really comes within the range of "practical politics"? What do you suppose would be the feelings of the average husband, if he found 'another man coming lound trying to make friends with his wife? Or what would the wife think if she discovered her husband cultivating friendly relations with 1 the pretty housemaid?- Or, to take the case of the unmarried, what sort of a reception might a single man expect from the mother of a family of daughters if he allowed it to become known that he was just looking for a friend? Don't you know that the mother of many daughters, like a hen with a family of chickens, must keep one eye lifting for hovering hawks ? Of course, jon " have ' heard the story of the old Scotch woman who, seeming uneasy on her deathbed, and being asked by her minister if it was the thought of her sins that was troubling her, replied, " Na, na, it's no ma sins I'm 'feared for, it's they cuttys o' dochters." "Then, again, in country districts and small '

Dear Emmeline, — The topic for to-day is a subject which interests most of us I think. There is a something in it which seems to draw one on to speak. '

I have often noted the different temperaments of people in their friendship towards the opposite sex. I do not think the very impulsive could attain to that very high friendship which might easily exfst between men and women of steadier (or sEall I say cooler) dispositions, without a warmer feeling creeping in.

To those who enjoy the sphere of single bliss and do not act on the moment, I would say " Choose a companion of the opposite sex, and yoit will be the richer for each other's company."

- There is no doubt a woman's ways have a refining influence on a man. Then, on the other side, I always think a man is broadermirded than the majority of women — due, I daresay, to his being able to mix up more with tho world at large. For a woman may not go into the same company as a man with impunity. Well, if by companionship he educate his fair friend to broader ideas, and she, by that subtle power peculiai to women, soften in him what would otherwise be harsh or rough, then I consider both have received a benefit from the friendship of the opposite sex.

But men and women in wedded life, I think, are better without strong outside opposite-sex friendships. For instance, the 'husband may not care for -flowers, while his wife and Mr B. (wife's great friend) just dote oh them. While conversing on them they are so enthusiastic, they unwillingly ignore " hubby's " presence, and perhaps sow one little seed (jealousy) which will germinate all too quickly. Or Miss N. (husband's friend) may have some pet hobby, on which the husband will put away time which might be spent in his wife's company; wifey feels neglected, and consequences may follow which were never dreamed of through "friendship." LOO. Dear Emmeline, — What an interesting and important topic you have chosen for this month — " The Friendship of Men and Women." I have often pondered Ihe many aspects of this great social question, and the narrow views entertained thereon by many parents and guardians, and I see no reason why boy and girl friends should not be welcomed in each other's home circles, and mutual friendships cultivated and supervised. How painful it is to see many young people almost afraid to exchange civilities before parents or guardians, much less to carry on a conversation. If these friendships were encouraged, 1 there would be fewer mis-_

ship, and fewer lives spoiled by such mia ■> takes.

Discountenancing these youthful friendship?, is very injudicious on the part of parents ancf v guardians, for friendships will be formed, if not in the home, outside it ; and they may no\\ be always beneficial. Besides, friendships between persons of opposite sexes help greatly te form character, and all the courtesies and. littU' kindnesses of life are brought out to a mucln greater extent. Men naturally gain in refine* nient and courtesy by contact with women* friends, and women in i haracter and broadmindedness by having men friends, though men and women alike should always have some friends of their own sex.

In conclusion, I cannot. picture a more idea\ friendship than that between a man and a wa'i man ; but such perfect friendships are very rare^ and can exist only where friendship is under" stood in all its beauty and the nobility of manhood and womanhood, with all their highei; aims, is fully recognised. VAL. Dear Emmeline, — I think it is possible to bft friendly with a man up to a certain point; but if that friendship* continues a long time, if ia almost sure to develop j'nto something stronger, and to cause pain to one or the otheri If the man and woman are employed doing- differen.t work, and both are sensible and strongminded, then tiue friendship could exist beo ' tween them without any Wronger feeling. Tho 1 danger is when one lSarns to love, while, the other lemains friendly. , , ; A woman leels highly honoured when, a man ( tells her something that troubles him. ,'She-isl ' sympathetic, and this is v-erv often the; begin- ] rung of friendship. Usually "it is the man whYgoes farther, and the woman sorrows becausa their happy friendship is broken and "ended? - Take the case of "Joe and- Laurie,' 1 in Women and Little Wives." ' They were for ' many years the greatest "riends, but Laurie overstepped that friendship, and although they were afterwards firm friends, their friendship was not Platonic friendship. Svpposing there was such a case of true friendship — the woman married, the man remained single". Don't you think, Emmeline, that (he woman's husband would -be a little jealous of the other man ? I admire friendship between man and man; but i think a woman has more influence over a man than one man has over, another. A woman , will lead, while a man will try to drive. ' I think children ought to be bi ought aip to ' • treat one another all alike; but as a rule they - aie teased about sweethearts, and of course that causes them to dislike, one another ; there- 1 fore their simple friendship ceases. lam afraid such a friendship as Platonic friendship cannot be reached by the present generation. " IRIS. Dear Emineline,— What a tantalising subject to write on. "Is it possible for simple friendship to reach real perfection, between men and women without any admixture cf warmer feeling? " I have thought ;oid thought -about it, and seem no further ahead. I like the thought of having real friends of the o.)[.osite sex; but niust take views from a married woman's side. She must have friends, without any warmer feeling, otherwise it would not be real friendship. No man could be her friend if his friendship compromised her in any way. As for boy and girl friendship being encouraged, " they will have their friends, and if. such friendships are "maintained^within the home, "under itjj.influences', all is well. " We should teacK^tha girls to know themselves ; to -have a true -un l .dersia-nding .of the'-iieeds arsd desires- jrf Hheix Seing,"' and of wJisft they 'ife liable to" come" in contact with in ""the* world. This knowledge would be to them a mantle of protection when • they have to leave home and choose friends for themselves. - DAPHNE. • « - • • • * Dear Emmeline, — As Ihe subject you hay» chosen is a very dear one to me, as to man; mor^ I know, will you permit me to send in scanty little contribution to it. Bacon says that we may " take different inedi' craes for different complaints, but no recipopeneth the heart but a true friend, to whom w may_ impart griefs, joys, fears, hopes, suspicions, counsels, and whatsoever lieth upon th« heart to oppress it. The communicating of a mans self -to -his -friend works two contrary effects — it re"doub*leth joys, and cutteth grieta in halves — for there is no man that imparteth his joys to his friend but he joyeth the more, and no man that imparteth his griefs to -.hi. friend but he grieveth the less." How many ox us know the truth of the above, those who have not been deprived of some of Life's greatest pleasures. • - For- my own part, to lose my dearest and 1 truest friends would be almost to lose nry-lifel Some people ridicule friendship, but they forget that it is not friendship at all that they so -jeer at, but a pretence — with selfishness at the back of it. True friendship should make as forgeb ourselves in thinking of jthers.' But I am expected to comment on the two kinds of friendship, though I am rather reluctant. - Can friendship exist between the opposite sexes without love "" creeping in? * WeH, I might have saicl Yes; decidedly! " once, but experience has taught me that in the niajurity of cases it can- r not. But where love does creep in, I think it is ' the genuine article, and if raarriage follows it ia ' almost certain to be one of lifelorig^iiappiness, for the two thus united must know each other's dispositions, etc., so thoroughly. As for the friendship^between the s'anie sex, 1 do not think ' there is anything more beautiful. We not only, ■ look round and see instances of true friends (I do not think they are in the majority, moire's , the pity, the world would be far better if only, they were), but we also read o£ lifelong friendships starting in youth, and continuing till death : Tennyson's friendship for H&llam— front which we get '" In Memonam " — which can be . read and re-read, and always" enjoyed. Then Charlotte Bronte's friendship for her friend "Emily," and many others which other members will enumerate. Who can fail to see that wera such friendships taken ->ut of their lives tho sun would cease to shine,- the birds to sing, tha, flowers to bloom, etc. Vbbut boy and girl friendship I do not know enough, but should •say that while not encouraging it, I would not wholly discourage it, as I think one should influence the, other for good. The boy's nature should become gentler, and the girl's stronger. PLATO. » * • • . Dear Emmeline, — You ask, " Which do yot» consider most helpful and beneficial to charactei — friendship between .persoas .of the sarno or opposite sexes?" Let us consider first'what character is. It is our true self ; that which we are. It is being in contradistinction to doing. Character is not reputation. There is a world of difference between the two. Reputation is what a man's neighbours think of him ; character is what he is. A man's reputation may be good while his character may be false and vile. " Character is a garment which the invisible fingers of the soul are ever weaving." It is the one thing which abides'for ever — riches, position we leave, but character " passes with us into the Eternal. Not at once is the temple of character -built, but day by day are the blocks laid in their places. How essential it is that that which can most in- 1 fluence towards the Highest should be useck to assist in moulding the blocks which go to build 'up the character. Then is it wise thatf young persons should have friends of their owiv sex? Why? In the first place, •if a young) man has conceived ari ideal character; wilKf.;' n6t stimulate him^to^nMke£4liatMdei!^rf&ltf-;"l_

without falling in love with him, or consideiing him in the light of a future husband. Since women have had to step out into the world of business and competition, the advice and counsel of a man are extremely valuable, and certainly most desirable. It is simply absurd that a woman shoiild be required t>y modern society to give tip the pleasure of spending a profitable hour with an intelligent male friend because propriety is shocked if she is seen walking frequently with him, unless she happens to be engaged to him. Ido not think it desirable for the friendship to continue after marriage, as it sometimes leads to grievous misunderstandings unless all parties are agreed on the subject". NIGEL. Dear Emmeline,— l think this last topic to an inexperienced person a very difficult one to answer, so I am afraid I have very little to say on such a dangerous subject. Still," I shall say my little say. I •should think that it certainly wa3 possible for men and women to be real friends without actually falling in love. Real friendship is love, only I suppose love in a milder form; from that I should imagine that friendship is much more unselfish than love, because there would be no jealousy, and yet perhaps I am wrong, lor there should be no jealousy in real love; but I am afraid there is often jealousy where engag >d couples arc concerned. Real friendship, real love, should be trusting and helpful, free from jealousy ; generous to the last degree; do you not think so, Emmeline? '

I should think a man and a woman would be able to influence -each other more than two' people of the same sex, for although the latter can do each other so .much good, a real ' unselfish friendship between a man and a. woman might do more; they could see so much better each other's faults and failings, and thus gently set each other right. How much a brother can ao for o sister ; how much a true sister can help her brother!

How many friendships nave been destroyed through idle gossip. If a girl is seen with the same man two or three times, they are at once accused of being engaged. Thisvidle gossip soon reaches their-ears/'their friendship becomes

Girls teach thorn the supreme delicacy of sentiment, while the knowledge of their trust and confidence has an immeasurable influence when, susceptible and "ver-oredulous as boys mostly are, they are sunovniJed by temptations. Even though they fall, the gentle encouragement of the girls will help them to regain their feet, all the stronger for the fall.

But it is in conversation, I think, the influence of this friendship is mostly felt. Girls if left to themselves are almost entirely personal, while between boys the conversation loses much of its chaim after a time. Between boys and girls' this is not the case, their opinions on all subjects are essentially different, consequently of much greater interest. ' Without doubt there are times when this friendship is nothing but a failure ; but then it is more often the fault, not of the- young peox^le, but of the parents. HOCHELAGA. Dear Emmeline, — Your topic fo" this month suggests quite a number of questions, which are somewhat puzzling to anyone who, like myself, has no practical acquaintance with the matter. To begin with, are there not many cases in which it is difficult to decide whether it is love or friendship? It has been said of PitzGerald, the translator of Omar Khayyam, that " his friendships were like loves, and his loy^s were like friendships." Is it not difficult- to draw the dividing line with any degree of precision? How do you define either sentiment?' Different people have, such different conceptions of both. Taking friendship among men as an illustration, some men consider there is no use in having a friend •unless you can make • something- out of him — in a pecuniary sense." Then, with regard to love, some take the view that the main object of marriage shquld be companionship. I remember, when a boy, reading an expression of opinion to that effect by one of the foremost men of his day in intellectual circles; but the critic who quoted it had a doubt about its popularity, and observation has led mo to think the critic was right. It is unpopular, especially with women. Then, at the _other extreme,^ you have Olive

other people's' business ill tit merely friendly relations between single men and families that contain '" dochters ' become, to say the least, difficult. I saw a case in point many years ago. A certain faimer's-wife, one evening, expressed a little surprise that one of their next neighbours, whom, for convenience, we may call Jones, never came to see. them. Now there happened to be a man in the house who was able to solve the problem, and he informed her that Jones had told him that if he visited at Mrs 's it would be said that " he was going there to see the girls."" " Oh, well," said Mrs , "it wouldn't be any harm if he did," evidently not seeing that Jones had not got the length of considering whether it would be. any harm or not, 'he merely found it unpleasant to be' suspected of motives that he was, at the time, quite innocent of; so unpleasant that, to avoid suspicion, he stayed awa\ T altogether.

There is another point on which I should like to ask youi opinion before I conclude. Some time ago I knew an elderly man' who was openly and avowedly looking for a wife, and a married woman of my acquaintance expressed the opinion that "' it would look better if he were preparing for the next world." Now this was rather startling, for he had evidently been cherishing the idea that, in some cases at least, there might be a possibility of combining the two, but the lady in question evidently believed in taking one thing at a time, and doing it well; so, as I have" no practical knowledge of the subject, I would like to hear if yo"u think there is anything essentially antagonistic in "the nature ol the two things. " In the multitude of councillors there is safety.'' And now, in conclusion, I am not sure 'but one who is in the'" sere and -yellow leaf '' w owes an -apology to yourself arid the club for this attempt to intrude witly.n the. pale. -. My excuse must be that I occasionally get tired of ' blushing unheard in the desert air" (I have a vague suspicion that there is something wrong about that quotation, but if it passes inspection by your editorial eye 1 shall i^iclude it is all right), and then I want to " worrit " someone, and this time you are the victim. AN " ELDERLY " YOUNG MAN. '

that same ideal. The' influence will be greater, because he has come in contact with - a man ct like passions to his own self. That leads me to say that as a -natural thing- man .understands jnan better than one of the opposite sex. A young man has trials and temptations that a woman can have no conception of. He will receive help and sympathy from his own sex •where the well-meant sympathy from a woman •would only irritate and annoy, .because she could not enter into all he felt, and could only give superficial comfort. I grant that we may and do receive help from women of experience, Tout women of experience aie rare. It is desirable that a. man's character should be manly. This can only be gained by being in the company of men. A youth constantly in the company of women tends to become womanly. There are certain characteristics in the woman nature that would form a desirable addition to every man's character. But I think that if a young man wishes to build a worthy character he can, as a result of observation, incorporate these outside elements into the economy of his being. As we consider the Christ character we marvel at the beautiful blending of manly strength and ■womanly grace. All that we admire most in both was there in our Example. Then, again, men are deeper, more serious thinkers, as a xule, than women; and a man likes to have as a companion one who is at least his equal ar} intellectual ability. Women accept all on faith, not 4hat they are the worse for that, but miaa is a doubter, and his leason requires to he satisfied by stronger arguments than a ■woman can bring to bear. For women cannot argue, and a man dearly loves an argument, even with his best friend, although the argument may cause unpleasantness between them. Some of these things, apply with equal force to •women having friends of their own sex. It would be delightful to "compromise and have a friend of both sexes to mould yGur character into the desired way, but' in life wo must choose, and the responsibility of choice lies with us, and we often choose those who are hurtful to our well-being, while we pass by those who would have guided us up the steep hillside of life, and helped us over the lough and stony places. Are friends an unmixed blessing? If they are, why those pains, those heartaches they bring? Have you ever gone forward to meet one, love beaiing you onward with eager steps, with hope beating high in your heart ; but gractually the light of hope begau to flicker and at last it died cut. No one came, and bitter Disappointment, with her icy fingers, wrought desolation where there had been the brightness of expectancy. How tired we became, and, leaden-footed, we turned wearily away. But, oh! the joy of friendship reciprocated, the inspiring presence of the loved one — these compensate for the heartaches that necessarily come and only throw ' into brighter relief the sunshine of love from the shadow of disappointment. STARLIGHT.

Dear Emmeline, — I know it is possible for friendship between men and women to reach perfection without any mixture of warmer feeling. I have several very dear friends (male) who could never be more than friends to me. ■I also know that, althoiigh it is so, it is often [because there is some reason behind why we

can be nothing nearer than friends, and the iriendship seems the more pleasant because o! the mutual understanding. How quick'.^ jou notice when friendship deepens into love. There eeems to be between" the parties concerned, in the presence of others, so much more constraint and much less naturalness. I have knewn a man and a woman be very sincere Sriends, even when there was a warmer feeling on the jpart of the man, which the woman cotild not return. You will often notice a brave, resolute woman proving a very backbone to a. "weaker-willed, irresolute man, thus earning his life-long gratitude and .proving to _lunijfcJirji£iiasn&_J_thiQk~that the friendship

of the opposite sex is mutually beneficial, because while man is physically, woman is morally, stronger. Then, tco, God said it was not good for man to be aloiie, and made woman to be a companion and helpmeet for him. What would frail woiaan do withoiit the sterner man to help her over life's rough places sometimes? And what a strange world it would be without loving, tender, pure, and unselfish woman to sooths and sympathise with the opposite sex. I think that a truly manly man is as helpful to the forming of a woman's character as another woman is. I cannot decide which is mo:e beneficial, but I think both are necessary. Boy and_ girl friendships, I hope, enjoy the others' ideas on that subject.

GOLDIE LOCKS. P.S. — I feel very grateful for Boy Friend's kindly remarks. I enjoyed the Travellers' Meeting immensely. Dear Emmeline, — Differences of outlook, inclination, ambition, and work are so clearly outlined when we compare men and women, that it seems to me impossible for friendship between them to be as .ull and satisfying as that between two men or two women.

At the same time, I would encourage boy and girl friendships, for this reason: Personal influence is a huge factor in moulding character. Doas not, therefore, the boy, with his moie robust faculties and broader views, unconsciously widen the girl's horizon, and stiengthen her nature, mnking her more independent, frjee, and capable .than she -would otherwise be? On the other hand, the girl with her more sensitive, gentle, and unselfish nature acts on the boy, making him considerate for others, chivalrous to the weak <md sympathetic with those in trouble.

Up to quite lately women could no more appreciate and sympathise vrith men's difficulties in the outside world than men could appreciate and sympathise with women's longing after knowledge anS independence. Why? Because each had never felt the other s want in themselves. Women were shut up at home, kept dependeat on men for their very food, and knew nothing about the great world in which men worked and ruled. Me.i led lives independent of any one ; had many and varied interests, and numerous acquaintances and friends of all types. Could friendship— the fiiendship which exists between those who completely understand and feel for one another — exist between a man and a woman under those circumstances? Perhaps nowadays it is more orobable, but still 1 hardly think that such friendship can Teach a state of perfection even in these enlightened days.

Think of the friendships of David and Jonathan, Naomi and Euth in the- Bible days, and those of Lord Tennyson ■>& AiUiur Hallam, Lady Somerset and Miss ' 'lard in the present ccntuiy. There are many other instances, but in all mark this, all are between those of the same sex and those whose lives nui in like grooves and under the same influence. 0 . David and Jonathan were men alike in temperament and work, and men whose ambitions and ideals were akin; and were not Lady Somerset and Miss Willard working for one goal, to waken women from their indifference tind urge them to live fuller and broader Kves? HOPE. • . * * . *. • , Dear 'Emmelinp,— l do not think perfection in friendship is possible oetwesu man and woman without bringing about a wanner feeling. There is a certain sympathy existing between some human souls which grows only stronger as tiroo elapses. It is the higher friendship which spreads a radiance over the lives of those who give and receive it — a. living power influencing their «^very deed and action. What does Emmerson say? — " Oh, friend, my bocom paid, Through thee alone the sky is arched, i Through thee the rose is red : All things through thee take nobler form."

Montaigne, in his essay on friendship, speaks thus of his dead friend : If I should compare all my life with the four years 1 had the ka.ppmess to unjoy the sweet Fociety of this excellent man, it is nothing but smoke ; an obscure j and tedious night from the day 1 lost him." And, again, " I am now no more than, half a man, and have btit half a being. ' Tennyson expresses in his '" In Memoriain " an equally deep love for his friend. Take such lines as these, — "Come, let us go, your <hecks are pale; B'lt half my life I leave behind." • • • • « " Yet in these ears, till hearing dies, One set, slow bell will seem to toll The passing of the sweetest soul That ever looked with human eyes." The following expresses more resignation, but no less strong a, love: ! "What ever way my days' decline, I felt and feel, though left alone, His being working in my own — The footsteps of his life in mine." I think the following beautiful and mournful lines, taken from. Coleridge's "Chnstobel," describing a severed friendship, make very real to one the strength of some human ties : " Each spake words of high disdain And insvilt to his heart's best brother. They parted-^-ne'er to meet again; But never either found another v To free the hollow heart from pining. They stood aloof — the scars remaining — ■ Like cliffs which have been lent asunder ; A dreary sea now rolls between; - But neither heat, 'nor, xrost, nor thunder Shall wholly do, away, I vreen , , . The marks of that.whick once hath been." ! Perhaps the friendship of David and Jonathan more nearly than any other brings home to one the depth of love sometimes given by one human being to another, ss David's beautiful lament rings in the ear: — '" I am distressed for thee, my brother Jonathan; very pleasant hast thou been, unto me. Thy love for nic was wonderful, passing the love of women." From these few extracts can be gathered how groat, how unfathomable is the higher friendship. As a mighty river mixes and is lost in the ocean, so all lesser loves are lost in one so much greater. When, Therefore, the higher friendship exists between laan and woman, they nrist be all in all to one another, and their unity would surely bring them \ery near to completeness. DISCIPULA. • • • • • Dear Emmeline, — I think it is quite possible for simple friendship to roach to real perfection between men and women without admixture of warmer feeling ; only the men and women must be wise enough to choose only men and women of high chaiaeter foi their friends, and I think they will do to help and benefit each other's character. j How mtich more thoughtful, gentle, and uni selfish boys are who are brought, up hi a home I where there are Sisters than those who ha,ve no sisters' gentle influences in the home. Lsdy V. Beauchamp strongly believe.s in the possibility and the reality of ihis bond of mutual interest as good and necessary for man and for woman. The ideal friendship was that between David and Jonathan, of which David speaks, " Thy love to me was wonderful, passing the love of i women-." -Damon, and Pythias, too, were rim--dared memorable by their friendship. '- On the third question Ido not feel competent to give an opinion. SWEETBKIAR. Tn a recent discussion on "Platonic Friendship," held in the page? of the Lady's Healm (and which "Sweetbriar" has evidently read), Lady Violet Beauchamp says: "1 wish to ... state emphatically that I believe in the possibility of Platonic affection. If we trace the expression back to ios origin, we shall find that, as Mr John Addi'ngton Symonds well sajrs, Platonic affection Avas to Plato himself 'a permanent ecstacy of the spirit, which led the way to heaven, raised a man above himself, and equally removed from civil affection and from sensual p?ssion.' " F. Frankfort Moore, the novelist, gives his I views thus: "It represents the irhimph of Logic and Love. It is the consolation of a I man who is content with roses cut out of tissue paper. It is the comfort of the woman who thinks that a quill and a glass of water make an entirely satisfactory substitute for a nightingale in June. It is the banquet of the Barmecides. . . . It id an ode by Sappho written in. water. It is the eggshell treasured by a man when someone eke has eaten the egg. It is the affection of the Doge of Venice for the Adriatic. It is a salad without vinegar. It is the shortest way to the Divorc? Court. It is a perpetual menace to a man, and the severest threat that one can hold over the head of a wpman." Miss Sybil Drummond decides that "those who enter on Platonic friendship should be of that serene and calm nature that neither lo.ves nor hates too much." The Hon. Stuart Erskine says: "Surely all serious friendship "between the sexes is mistaken, if not impossible, unless it takes place on a footing of love. . . . Seeing that it is a very rare and hard thing for e-<*en common friendship to endure the shocks and strains of time and interest, I fail completely to see how that much more delicate and complex organism, called .'Platonic friendship' is to be conducted with any degree of success. . . . I have never yet met two individuals of opposite sexes between whom was poiiducted this mysterious union or alliance called Platonic friendship." Lady Helen Craven writes : "I have heard Platonic friendship defined as 'the name which ci woman, being herself indifferent, applies tc her relations with a man who is in love with her, or vice veraa, and co far as my knowledge or experience goes, this appears to me to be a good saying. . . . It may be that unimpasaioned but faithful souls, seeking love and finding it not. content tbe-m=elve-> with the husk of friendship — the name, shadowy as a dream, of a bond more shadowy still. It is ffto t such to say whether they raid the friendship satisfying or even dcpirable."

Mrs 0. Beyland TTox opines that "the woman who has a Platonic friend must hold him with a li^ht hand, must never be exacting or tedious, and must, be it understood, be ready to oncer into his every joy and sorrow, to share them, and to sympathise with them, even though they should not concern her-splf directly. . , , "-The man must be beyond all things a. 'chevalier sans -peur, et sans reproche,' full of tendci respect and thoughtful solicitude, putting hi? own feelings always in the background, and considering tho*;e of his friend fiom every point of view, whilst jealously guarding her fair name from even the faintest breath of scandal. Then will the friendship (love) which rests between these two remain a clear, steady flame, illuminating their lives

with the light of pure joy, and ennobling them with its character of absolute unselfishness and perfect trust." IWith which last quotation we will conclude. As to the contents of my postbag, I am sure you will all of you understand that I have not either forgotten or passed over any one ; as it is merely the private letters, letters accompanying enclosures, which are thus answered. — Your comrade, Dear Emmeline,— -The question for the club to decide this month is a little more difficult than previous ones. I consider that no excuse for not attempting it. ' Is it possible for simple friendship to reach real perfection between men and women without admixture of warmer feeling? For reply, I must say, with no uncertain sound, yes. In some cases, what is called Platonic love does, and may, exist. As an example of this kind love one remembers Florence Nightingale, one of the noblest women of the century, who went out to the Crimean war, and attended our soldiers. In reply to the second question I find a person of my own sex is the more helpful and* beneficial. Should boy and girl friendships be encouraged ? I would say yes, to a certain degree, and under proper supervision. TEX. Club meets October 4. Contributions must be in by September 27. Members' Meeting. TOPIC. An original essay, sketch, verse 3, or a quotation — not exceeding- 300* words (about) — on any subject the writer. may choose. Club meets November L Contributions must be in by October 20. TOPIC. ' " The portrait of a great man." Members to paint (briefly) the portrait of some great man whose influence in history, humanity, art, or literature entitles him to, a place in the Cosy Corner Club's " Gallery of Great Men." EMMELINE.