How Darting Cured Hobby's Club Proclivities.

Otago Witness, Issue 2410, 10 May 1900, Page 66

How Darting Cured Hobby's Club Proclivities.

For the first six months of his married life tho husband had s-pent one night each week at his club. 2\Fow Jie has given up the practice. He had begun to feel, somehow, that ]\yifcy did not like his weekly absence, though she did not say much. Then something happened to convince him, though he has not confessed the fact to her. It was on one of Biis club nights, and he was preparing to (leave with a promptness that indicated to her ■that he was glad to get away. " Bloise," he Baid, solemnly, as he dived into his overcoat, " if you leave that back window open a burglar will get in here some night when I am at the club, you will be murdered in yoiu- bod, Rnd all your welding presents will be scooped. No-v, darliug, do remember that and be careful."

Darling sniffed. It is awful that a woman ,!will learn to sniff ofter six months of marriage. Then she said something unpleasant about his anxiety concerning the wedding eilver, and die put an emphasis on it, too. 'Any man would have been mad. So when lier husband came home that night, about 1 o'clock and let himself in by the latchkey, .to find the place dark and peaceful, he bethought him of the window. He could hear her regular breathing as he passed her door. 'Even coming in hadn't disturbed her. What 'a soft thing for a robber ! He went out in the kitchen, where the bread was rising. Yes, the window was unlatched. He opened it — Jiot with especial care, but its crcr>k seemed to arouse no one. Then lie sliijped out into "ih.s garden, drew the window after him, and Vailed. No feign from anywhere. Next he re-opened the window and vvo-

ceeded to climb in. He pul his high hat in first, and then went in backwards, so that he might be careful about his clothes. He had his dress suit on, and the infernal window frame was dusty. A.s his shoulders lurched through with a final effort a shriek rent the air. The pan of bread dough vras inverted with frightful force over his bare head, and every time he opened his mouth he cut off biscuits. Yells splintered the air — not his yells; he was too full of dough. A blow above his belt by about a half an inch sat him hard on the floor, where by the sound — his eyes were full of dough, and he could not see — it appeared to him that all the saucepans in the place were slommed on him, including wme half barrels of nour. With superhuman effort he arose again, and, ripping and clawing through tho dough, he let off some howls for himself that brought the battle to a stop.

It took half an hour to scrape him clean, and his wife helped. She didn't say much. He could understand that. She was probably ashamed. He didn't mean to be hateful aboul it, and so long as he got the dough out of his hair without making him entirely bald he didn't care so very much. It his wife had only learned tlioroughly the clanger of leaving doors and things open, the lesson was worth giving. But, alter all, a man is human, so when they sat down to breakfast the next morning he said : " You sec, darling,T was right about that 'window. I am glad for your sako thai it wasn't a burglar or a murderer ; but it might have been." And what do you. suppose darling said? This: "Good gracious! I knew it was you. Do you suppose I'd treat a burglar like that? "