Rhymesters in the Law Courts.

Otago Witness, Issue 2394, 18 January 1900, Page 70

Rhymesters in the Law Courts.

F3Ol£ THE JUDGE ON THE BENCH TO THE PRISONER IN THE DOCK. If there is one atmosphere in which one might think the Muse of Poetry could find no inspiration — if, indeed, she could breathe at all in it— it would surely be the dry-as-dust atmosphere of a court of law ; and yet, perhaps with the curiosity of her sex, the Muse of Verse often finds her way into these drearyprecincts, and tunes judge and counsel, jury and prisoners, alike to rhyme. It is not long since a man who was charged in a Manchester police court with drunkenness defended himself in rhymed couplets, which had at least the virtue of being impromptu. When asked by the Bench if he were not ashamed to find himself in such a. position, he promptly answered : My feelings have svistained a cruel shock At this, my first, apearance in the dock. When asked why he conducted himself in this way, he made answer : 'Tis certainly a trifle wrong, But man is weak and gin is strong. And when he heard the amount of his fine, ha sadly answered : So large a sum I cannot pay; I'll go to gaol — kind sirs, good day! ' In*a recent New York case a jury, after being locked up all night, gave sad expression , to the verdict and their feelings in rhyme, o£ which these were the concluding lines : He sues these men for damage great, And for the ills they did create. Within our hands his case is placed, And we, locked up, now feel disgraced. The tables turned, he treats us ill, And we are glad that he gets nil, Such verses, if amusing, are of no high order of merit. The coiirts, however, often give birth to poetic effusions which are distinctly clever and well worth preserving. The* late Mr Justice Denman was as expert at versifying as Sir Frank Lockwood at drawing humorous sketches in court, and the slips handed clown to counsel from the bench caused, many a ripple of amused. laughter to run through the ranks of wigs and gowns. Some time ago in two succeeding cases Mr Jelf and Mr Murphy appeared before him. Mr Jelf, who is a man of spare physique, appeared for a well-known surgeon ; and Mr Murphy, whose ample waist" aid triple chin were such an ornament to our courts, appeared for a provincial corporation. Mr Justice Denman made the occasion immortal by thesa lines : Lawyers, like parsons ought to have Appropriate vocations : Thus Jelf defends anatomists, And Murphy corporations. When Mr Eve, Q.C., made his first appearance in court after "taking silk," the following quatrain was circulated in his honour s. When Adam delved and Eve span Few clothes did they require; 3Sfow Adam wears a Bond street coat, Eve walks in silk attire. The "Adam" in this case is, of course, Lord Adam, the Scottish Judge of the Court of Session. When Sir Henry Hawkins (now, alas ! Lord Brampton) retired, it was rumoured by v court wag that he was going to devote his de- , dining days to writing a drama in verse. Ifcwas in honour of this new vocation' and with, the memory of Neill Cream and the Chrimes, whom Sir Henry had sentenced, fresh upon him, that a well-known Q.C. penrfed thesa lines : Sir Henry now to verse will turn And write a ream of rhymes : In prose a thousand sentences Have skimmed the cream of chrimes. It will be remembered that when Sir Robert Wright was promoted to the Bench some years ago, he objected very strongly to the knighthood which always accompanies such promotion. It was only out of loyal regard for thf* Queen's wishes that he finally consented to become "Sir" Robert. One of his old pupils, now a prominent Q.C, wrote an amusing account in verse of an imaginary dialogue between the Queen and the new judge, of which the last verse was : " Forbear, oh, gracious Queen, forbear, From dubbing me a knight." " ."Robert," said she, " you're very wrong."- " Madam," said he, " I'm Wright." I When Mr Justice Day received a similar 1 promotion and title, the following verse created some amusement in our law courts ; Alack! the, day our gracious Queen Did lawyers, such despite; I % 1 For while John turned our night to day She's turned our Day to knight. When Mr Rotton was made a Queen's counsel eight years ago the following lines were circulated in the hall of Lincoln's Inn, tha Inn to which the wearer of silk belongs : "What's in a name? If aught there be In this case 'twas forgotten; For though hia law is always sound His name is ever Rotton. The following lines were written by Mr Ju** tied Mfttkews seme time ago wheft the lattt

Mr Candy, Q.C., was a candidate for a certain office : Candy is sweet, ancl sweeter still Is the Egyptian date. 'Tis meet that sweets of office fall To such a Candy-date. Some years ago, when Sir John Edge (then plain Mr Edge) was sent to India as Chief Justice of the North-west Provinces the announcement of his promotion gave birth to the following verse as a tribute to his well-known geniality : A lawyer is ever a jovial blade, At least, so they allege — At last the point is gone, for now They'ie taken off the Edge.