A Definition of Matrimony.

Otago Witness, Issue 2391, 28 December 1899, Page 56

A Definition of Matrimony.

A celebrated woman defined matrimony as "an institution which confides the happiness of two human beings to a woman." This is not exactly lovers' language. The lover holds himself responsible for the happiness of the woman he asks in marriage. He asks her to commit her happiness to his care. He will hold it the supreme object of his life to make her happy. As" a matter of fact, beyond supplying her with the necessaries and comforts of life, and treating her with consideration and kindMess, he lias no power to make her happy. It is he who commits his happiness to her care. In marriage a man has much more to dread than a woman. If you see a man trying to give happiness U his Avife lie generally fails. There is something perverse in most women that they will not be pleased when it is expected of them. The woman who has a devoted husband is unusually selfish and exacting. All his attentions do not make bur iuurpy, for the deen reason that it is

loving, not being loved, tHat brings blessedness. If she is dull or discontented in her new home, if she does not take to his friends or relations, if she misses the charm of the days of courtship, he is powerless to help her. He has no business to attend to, and in the evening he is at least as much dependent upon her word, as she is upon his. Indeed, as I said before, if she be in an unhappy humour he will only make her worse by trying to coax her out of it. We must sorrowfully admit the faults of our sex.

On the other hand, a woman of the right sort can be happy with, and make happy, a man of almost any average temperament ; presuming that he is not a brute or a villain, and that he was attached to her when he manned her. It is hopeless for a man to try to coax a woman out of the sulks or the vapours ; but a woman with gentleness and patience, and a few wiles, can usually put a man in a good humour. Her happiness is not altogether in his hands, because it is in her power to soften his humour ; but he is absolutely at her mercy, for no man ever yet tamed a shrew, for the very excellent reason that she enjoys her own shrewishness. I have heard it said by one with long experience that in conjugal life the wife has the mastery, because it lies in her power to make the husband's life at home miserable. That is a terrible power ; the power that fallen angel's covet. I should like it to read tliis way: — The wife is supreme, because she can make her husband happy, and she alone. And to make him happy is to work out her own happiness.