A Derby in the Air.

Otago Witness, Issue 2370, 3 August 1899, Page 61

A Derby in the Air .

On the long sloped of brilliant green grast that stretch away from the walls of Cristobal (Jolon, and dwindle down into the city of San Juan, dn Porto Rico, one of the' West Indian islands, a great crowd of curious and noisy men, women, and children stand every morning, gesticulating half madly at one another. Above their-hoads there is always a flotilla of big paper kites, clucking, diving, floatingupward, and performing queer tricks as they iiirt and play with ihe ocean wind. Suddenly a gieat red paper monster will ' dait. swiftly upward above the others. Then a shout goes up from the crowd. It seems ! to be having a race with a blue one sailing (Inngorr.ysly near. -A hundred trem- . Wing arms with outstretched fingers are raised frantically in the rir, , shaking five and ten pesto notes, oiFe'-ir.-g bets on the red. The champions of the blue irake verbal pools, and so the betting goes on ' amid tremendous excitement. Huddenly the flyer of the blue unwinds sceral yards of string that guide his airship.. Its tail is long, striped like the nide of a zebra, and loaded with strips of various-, coloured cardboard. As he lets out the string the blue shots up, huddles close bs-iiilo the red for a moment, and then at onro, with an incomprehensible movement, it darts across the face of its antagonist, and in a morntnt the latter is floating downward. The sharp, curved knife with which the blue is burdened has severed the string of the md, and the latter lias lost.and the victorious kite flies upward. ' The knife is a necessary and legitimate burden of every kite that enters Ui-j.botting ring, and it Requires a magnificent display of skill to avoid the blades or to attack an antagonist. Not Provided For. "t shall not many," he declared, "beca lire if I were to be shipwrecked a wifo would be in the way !" But he nover was shipwrecked. Instead, he was pursued by wolves in Russia. Now at onoe he became aware of the unwisdom of hia choice. "Alas!" he cried. "If I had a wife I might throw her out to the wolves and make my escape while they were devouring her!" It is very aifiicult to anticipate exigencies. Fravelin England : At a London Railway Station. You arc apt to begin finding out fche dissimilarity between English as it ought to be spoken and English as it is spoken the first time you go shopping in Lpndon. In travelling it is worse. It is like this: You : A ticket please. He: Wot fur? (He means to what place.) You : I want to take the elevated for • He: Wot s'y lydy? (What did you say lady?) You: The elevated for Ha : Never l;-eard of tho nime. Maybe you nru-an Elephant and Castle; that's 'bus line. j To 1 ; : No ; I want a railroad .ticket. j^p: Oh, rileway ; ,you mean Underground. 1/ &v (doubtfuly, as you' look at the long stairs you must climb to get to tho " Underground ' ' and hear a train thunder overhead) : Wei!, ye.--; Underground. He: Wot fur? You : Why, to geL uptown. | He (exasperatingly) : Were do you want to i go? (Imploringly) 'Urry up, lydy; don't tiko all dye. ' You : Xotting Hill. He: Notting 'ill or Notting 'ill Ghyte Station? You (at a venture) : C4hyte Station, I think. Ho looks at you sourly, and you return the look blandly, unconscious that you have to his face mimicked his cocknification of tha words Gate Station. He: What clawss? You (like aU American idiots) : First, pleabe. He: Return ticket? " You : Return ? No, I want to go there. He (sarcastically) : Iynte you nuvver coming back ageyne? If you hare, don't you want a return? You : Oh, a round trip ; yes, of course. He : 'Ere you hare (meaning here is the ticket), and 'ere's your change. Mykyste! Thi3 last word, translated into American English means haste. And you, as you frantically sweep up an unassorted masi of halfcrowns, florins, shillings, sixpences, and three sorts of coppers into your purse, wi3U to say that you are making haste. But unconsciously dropping- into Londonese dialect, you ejaculate: "I am a-myking hyste." — London Daily Telegraph.

— The Congo River has at one place- 32 waterfalls within a distance of 154- miles. Advice to Mothers!— Are you broken ik your rest by a sick child suffering -with the pain of cutting teeth ? Go at once to a ehemuit and get a bottle of Mrd Winslow's Soothing: i Syhup. It will relieve the poor sufferer hnnie- ' diately. It is perfectly harmless, and pleasant to the ta-ite; it produces natural, quiet sleep by relieving the child from pain, and the littla cherub awakes "as bright as a button." It socthes the child, it toftens tho gums, illayi all pain, relieves wind, regulates the bowels, and is tho best known remedy for dysentery and diarrhoea, whether arising from teething or other causes. Mrs "Winslow's Soothing Syrup is sold by medicine dealers everywhere at 1b lid per bottle. — Advt