COSY CORNER CLUB.

Otago Witness, Issue 2363, 8 June 1899, Page 50

COSY CORNER CLUB.

NINTH MEETING. TOPIC. Th« advantages of a single life, contrasted with its disadvantages. — Suggested by " Country Mowse."

My Dear Comrades, — Our topic this month has evoked a wide response, and I am sure that a good deal of interest, much sympathy, and some amusement will attend the reading of our numerous contributions. Some new members, " Silent Friend," " Trilby," " Lurline," " Dora," " Val," " Veronica," and " A Country Lassie " join us for the first time to-day, and, will, I am sure, receive » cordial welcome from our circle. It is with very great pleasure that as each month comes I find Dur discussions being more widely entered upon and our roll of membership increasing. Moat genu-

ine too is the warm feeling of comradeship with which you, no less than myself, I am sure, welcome the well-known signatures of those who from the first have been staunch supporters of the C.C.C. A most pleasant link of sympathy and interest grows with each succeeding meeting between oui members — long may we continue thus to widen our horizon, my comrades ! " Country Mouse," as the member suggesting the topic for to-day, should speak first, and by a pleasant coincidence her paper reached me first ; let us hear it without further delay : —

Dear Emmeline, — The Apostle Paul, writing to girls who are anxious to marry, says, '" I warn such that they shall have trouble in the flesh." St. Paul was quite right, though, being a bachelor, he could not be expected to know how well the trouble "pays." Apart from this exemption from certain troubles, the chief advantages of a single life may be summed up in the words "leisure" and " independence." A single woman may bo quite as busy as a married one, but, generally* speaking, she knows what she has to do, and when her work is finished her time is her own. '

Being -independent,* she may consult her own tastes as to how she shall spend her leisure. If she have a special talent she is able to develop it. Only let her take care to employ her time welL or weariness and discontent will be her portion.

In these days, when no honest work is considered derogatory to either man or woman, the bachelor girl may study her own individuality and choose her career. Hitherto^ while the tastes "and abilities of the boys were carefully studied in launching them on the sea- of life, all the 'girls were supposed to be fit to follow the one profession of managing a, house and Tearing children, to the serious detriment of some of the ensuing families. An unmarried woman has a great advantage over her married sistei in having the control of her purse. Many a wife will go almost without necessaries rather than subject herself to the ordeal of asking her husband for a cheque, or seeing his frown when the bills come in. Moreover, if without private means, it is out of her power to give the smallest present without feeling that it is really her husband who pays for it. Now for the other side. Passing over the negative loss in never knowing a husband's manly love oi the dear caresses of her own little children, the woman who elects to fight the world single-handed will find that she has to take many a hard rub, and will miss the safe, protected feeling that belongs to the married state. But her chief fear is loneliness in after life. Friends are removed by death, distance, and even marriage ; for there is a camaraderie among married folks that unconsciously excludes the unmarried to some extent. So let her keep in touch with the younger ones. Let her strive to be useful and she will be beloved. In many homes '' auntie " almost rivals " mother " in the hearts of the junior membei'6.

0 girls, be not in haste to marry. Wait for the Prince, and meanwhile enjoy your youth or throw yourself heart and soul into your work as_if there were not a man in the world. And~never marry for any other consideration than sweet love itself, unless you are quite sure that he has come and gone and left you lonely, the victim of uncongenial surroundings, longing for the safe shelter of a home and the sweet voices of children calling you "mother." Then, and then only; you may,* for one whom you thoroughly respect and like, give up the many advantages of a single life

COUNTRY MOUSE.

The contrast you briefly draw between the freedom -of the single woman in matters of expenditure and the bondage of hermarried sister touches on a tquestion which always interests me keenly. My deai friend, I, cannot think, how any nice or generous man can expect his wife to come humbly asking for every sixpence she spends ! It is quite wrong, I am sure, and is bad for both husband and wife. Yet I have seen so much of it! My heart has ached for wives who have quite, not "almost," gone without many things that were really necessary to health and comfort sooner than be grumbled at. How I have longed t.o tell those husbands what their conduct seemed like to a free woman! As regards the last point you touch on and the advice you give to girls, I can only say with all my heart — " May they follow it."

Dear Emmeline, —Is single life preferable to married? The answer to this question depends first on the temperament, aims in life, and circumstances of each individual ; second, on the Tesult of marriage in each case. Considering first, then, marriage in itself, it may be pronounced 'the happiest, as the most natural state. "It is not good for man to be alone" was said of old. Men and women are the complement of each other, each is in gome measure imperfect alone. Wedded life at its best means mutual support and sympathy, the sweets of domestic affection, the joys of parenthood. There are few perfect things on earth, and perhaps ideal marriages are seldom found. But I believe that satisfactory ones are far more the rule than pessimists'of the day would have us believe. I think most of us are fortunate enough to know of numbers of happy homes where, if everything is not ideally perfect, husband and wife lead happier, fuller, and more useful lives than they would be likely to have led single. On the other hand, there are some who, by reason of disposition, aims, or calling in life, are perhaps beet alone. Marriage implies a certain amount of self-renun-ciation on both sides, and some, by no means necesFarily selfish or egoistic in the common sense, are yet too individual to adapt themselves to the tastes and wishes of a partner. Those deeply absorbed in aims and interests out of the common groove, as thinkers -and artists, are freer to devote themselves to their life work unhampered by domestic ties. But even these, if a suitable partner could be found, might be benefited by marriage. I think the tendency of strong individuality to indispose to marriage deserves to be reckoned among the minor causes of the decay of marriage among the upper and middle classes. It acts, no doubt, with men as with women, but its influence is far more noticeable with the latter now that their minds are more developed by education and" their_ resources in life increased. Single Hfe certainly offers far more liberty for men and for women in a still higher degree, if only they are above poverty and dependence on relatives. For even with the well-to-do the management of a household and the care of children must abeorb the greater part of a woman's time and energies, and when she has to do everything unassisted her burden is often indeed heavy.

The wretchedness of married life where either husband or wife are unfitted for its duties and responsibilities is obvious, and per-

haps > need not be enlarged on in contrasting its advantages with those of single blessedness. No girl would marry a man if she fore* saw that he would ill-use and neglect her, or turn out a drunkard or spendthrift, and ia the same way no man would choose a girl expecting her to make a bad wife. Of course, every day niarriages are made where disinterested people foresee unhappiness ; but any one debating whether to marry or remain single would consider the common and probable results. Even so marriage is uncertain. A couple may marry with every prospect of reasonable ease and comfort, and yet, owing to misfortune or illness, their lives may be a constant struggle against poverty. Then there is the chance of the illness and loss of loved ones; of children turning out badly and breaking their parents' hearts. The unmarried man or woman gives fewer hostages to i fortune, and can be assailed in fewer points. There is a story told of some ancient sage who, on being asked why he had never married, deferred his answer till one day he met a man prostrated by grief fop the loss ofXhis only son. Then, turning to the friend who had questioned him, he said, " It was in order to avoid such griefs as these that I never married." Certainly, single life affords less opportunity for sorrows and anxieties than married.

__ On. the other hand single life may- narrow the affections and dispose to selfishness, while it often means a sad and lonely .old age. But this depends on character primarily, and on circumstances secondarily. Now that women are being so much better prepared for the battle of life than formerly there will be fewer of such lonely and embittered- lives as we used to associate with the ternv" old maid."

An immarried woman Bhould,~ from the fact of her superior freedom, be more able to engage in social usefulness. If she' has intellectual lasteS' she will have more liberty to cultivate them ; and her life may be calm and happy. But in renouncing the trials and joys of wifehood and motherhood she misses -the completion of her nature.

Briefly, married life offers the chances of both more happiness and more unhappiness than does single. The 1 latter may be preferred by the cautious and timid; and those women who have had no opportunity of marriage may console themselves with the thought that they are more fortunate than very many of their married sisters.

ALPHA.

Your idea that strong individuality in either man or woman indisposes to marriage is. I think, quite true, "Alpha." "As women find more scope for their individual tastes, talent, and energy in the wide field of modern possibilities, they will be less likely to exchange their independence of purse and liberty of taste and time to anything less than a very genuine affection. There is surely a time in the life of every woman, however clever, strong-minded, or independent, when she imagines that it would be .for her happiness to barter all these for ' love-^-time alone proves whether she is right or wrong. In most cases I think if a girl adopts a profession, she is happier in remaining single ; b^f) I count the simplest^most ordinary wife and mother who realises all that the fulfilment of those ties means a nobler, more perfect example of unselfishness than anything the world holds. The single man. and woman, it seems to me, only know the A B' C of selfrenunciation — if I may judge by the lives I see around me. JMy own idea of the average difference between the lives of married and single persons is , that the former are, from very force of circumstances, the most unselfish — the latter the freest and most untroubled. Dear Emmeline, — Your subject this week, "The advantages or disadvantages of single life as contrasted with married life," is one about whioh. I know very little,^ but after having looked at other people i have decided that most of the advantages are on the side. of the single. A single person can, as a rule, travel and see the world. If he has not the money he may work his way, either by. going as far as he can afford and then working and saving; there until he has enough to take him somewhere else, then beginning again, or if he wishes to tiavel by sea he can ifit himself for some billet aboard ship, and thus see other countries with no expense except that of labour.

A single man has only himself to trouble about. If he is a working man his home is of little trouble to him, as it may be only a tent or hub which, when he wishes to go to another place, is very easily packed up arid moved away. Should he not be satisfied with his present abode or occupation he may leave it without incommoding anyone.

A single girl has many advantages which her married sister does not possess. She may -do her work, perhaps more than her eister has to do, but when the time comes ghe can take her. holiday, leaving every care behind which her eister with home and family ties cannot do. A girl working for herself, if she be careful may save up enough, if she cares for it, to travel some distance during her holiday, but should she not care for that she may have books, and study as she pleases. Young girls working together or friend 3 often go for their holidays together. Teachers especially do this, leaving all work and care behind them until the holiday is over.

There certainly is very little opportunity for travel in the life of the middle class married woman/ She may think herself lucky, poor sofll, if she " can be spared " from the hundred duties of her home and family for a little holiday visit/ now and then! When the husband goes away he slajs at a hotel, goes to the iheatre, dines •with his old friends, sees all the sights, and has a good time generally. When the wife goes away she has so many things to " arlange for" during her absence, so many directions to give, so much extra effort to leave everyone provided for, as well as to nake her own preparations as economically as possible, that she is fairly tired out when at last she starts. There is none of. the easy luxury and dainty menu of a good hotel for hei. She probably takes one of the children with her, and certainly jroes to stay with friends or relatives. It is not so much of a rest after all. Perhaps they are rich relatives and then how shabby she feels, how poor the simple finery which so delighted all the little home circle before she left! If it is only a household of moderate means like her own, why, then, there is so much she can do to help. Sevri ing, for instance, or she is in time to make the melon jam, or the marmalade, or to help with the Church Eair that ia being held! What a different holiday from her hustand'al How rested, how bright, how refreshed sli« is supjjoßed to be wb.eu ska

ccmes home too ! How thankful for her nice holiday, and how thoroughly able to overtake all the little cares that have crept up mountains high while she was away! *Are not things a little unequal between the yoke-fellows in the marriage harness? The single people certainly seem to have the ."bes., of it in. the holiday market. Dear Emmeline, — I have been puzzling my brains for the last month to find out where the advantages of a single life come in, and unless being one's own master is one (for which I never had much ambition) I shall ■ have to give the puzzle up and wait to learn jthe advantages from you and the members of the C.O.C. Its disadvantages are many — loneliness, homelessness, and the want of the greatest thing in the world, which is "love," according to Professor Drummond, who also Bays, "The affection between husband and wife is of all "the immeasurable forms of love, the most beautiful, the most lasting, and the most divine." What advantage? can compen--sate for the loss of all that?

SWEETBRIAR.

Dear " Sweetbriar," it is almost worth the entire topic to find one such honest, simple witness to the happiness of a happy marriage! "Alpha" is right, I know, when she says that married life offers the chance of more perfect happiness or more profound . misery than single life can ever compass. - One sees so many unhappy ami so many -unsuitable marriages that I, for one, need to know more friends like you to make me enthusiastic about it.

Dear Emmeline, — It is very common in these days for an intelligent young woman to make up her mind that single life is preferable to the suffering and care and limitation of liberty necessarily imposed by the marriage vow. While she is young and bright," especially if she has a comfortable home, she ,«ee.s no reason to regret her decision. She compares her leisure, health, and* freedom from anxieties - with the chequered career of her married sister, and rejoices in her own superior advantages. But years, roll on, death thins the ranks of relatives, and her dearest friends, bet ing interested in their own "affairs leave her, unintentionally, out in the cold. She grows plainer and less in request at festive gatherings, and her circle contracts just when it ought to expand. Her married friends all have a position in the world, and no troubles about their advancing years and loss of sprightly youthfulness, whereas she is out of everything and has to look forward to an old age of loneliness, and bitterly regrets - that she "missed her chance" in jouth. But she forgets that while her sister was sacrificing herself for. husband and children, she was free as air, arid able to travel, read, visit, etc., just as the whim took her. Her eye was not dimmed prematurely by watching or her health undermined by the duties of wife and mother. She never wished to change with her sister then. But it is impossible to enjoy a husband's protection without performing a wife's duty, and the love of children must be earned by a mother's devotion. The posi- . tion and dignity accorded to the matron can only be secured by the saci ififj " of msriden ' privileges. TRILBY. .

I think. "Trilby," you point out very . clearly that the woman who remains single from choice and spends a gay and pleasant youth must not grumble if old age finds her "somewhat more 'lonely and of loss importance in the world than her married sister. Jf she is wise and sweei she may, however. < . find a warm and sunny, if less imposing, „ niche in the hearts- and homes of relatives.*' As " Country Mouse " points out, there are many homes where " auntie " only stands second to " mother " in love and affection. I cannot, unfortunately, publish the verses you send, as you have written them on both sides of the paper, and your letter, which I should also have put in among others, is disqualified for the same reason. I am so sorry. -We can never do anything with matter, however attractive, 'unless it is written on one side the paper only.. Dear Emmeline, — Single life, its advantages and disadvantages, should attract a large array of correcpondonts. Single life lends, in my opinion, to make one selfish and to cramp our sympathies. When one lives all their life single, self is generally the centre of their own little world. Although the old maid and bachelor of to-day are a great improvement to ones we read of a few years back, married life develops and widens oiu best i.istincts. To what unselfishness will a mother not go for her children? Married life also gives us the advantage generally of having some one to care for us in old age. DORA.

Though you put your views so briefly, " Dora," I imagine you are fairly correct in your conclusions. Married life does bring out a wonderful amount of nobility and usefulness, and mother-love is surely the most beautiful thing in the world. Dear Emmeline, — I think that single life has more advantages than married life, because you are free to do as you wish and follow more pursuits. It is pleasing to think that people nowadays have wider views concerning old maids than in days past ; in the days of our grandmothers it was considered almost a disgrace to be an old maid. My opinion of an old maid of to-day is that she is first in the leading social questions. Many of my old maid friends are more broad-minded and liberal in their views of life than their married sisters, and I think, on the whole, single life is to be preferred before married life.

LURLINE

With your clear conviction on the subject. " Lurline," you should, in years to come, make one of the dear old maids who lighten the burden of life to so many of their fellow beings. With health, brains, and energy, the single woman of to-day is ci being of boundless possibilities and, if she chooses, inexhaustible happiness. The li r , es — such sweet lines, too — which " Rowan Tree" sends embody a life which, in its. perfect unselfishness, is ideal.

Dear Emmeline,— l am not of opinion that single life possesses many advantages over married life, in fact, I am inclined to think [(though my experience has been limited to the one extreme) that the advantages of life, as a whole, are chiefly confined to those who are married, and whatever may be adduced to the contrary, there can always be something bearing upon the married life tc counterbalance it. Dr Johnson says " Matrimony has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures," and I am sure, dear Emmeline, you will agree with Itne in saying that if earthly comforts are advantages likely to give one hope or energy-* to live and work in this world they proceed from the divine influence of lore in the

family circle. It is a tower of strength within itself, and I believe is the basis upon which the British Empire now stands. Love of home is the power which gives men bravery in the battlefield ; it is love of home which makes the Briton, and which has always characterised him. Single life may be of advantage to explorers in foreign lands, to men who live upon the waters of the mighty deep, and such life, but apart from these and similar callings I am unable to find any particular advantage under ordinary circumstances to be derived from it. True, there may be seeming advantages, but when properly investigated they are forced to give way under the preponderating power of the purposes for which man has been created.

' True, there are those who fear to enter upon the struggles' of life in matrimony, and therefore remain single, but the lack 01 heroism in this respect is, to say the least of it, extremely cowardly. Shakespeare says, "As a walled town is more worthier than a village, so is the forehead of a married man more honourable than the bare brow of a bachelor." It is not that marriage is a failure, thereby leading to disadvantages which a single life might obviate, but the practical misinterpretation of what constitutes matrimonial happiness, that leads to the opinion single life possesses advantages superioi to those of married life. FIDELIS. I agree with you "Fidelis," that the affection" of the family circle and the love of home represent aIL that is happiest, call forth. all that is noblest in human nature. As regards development of charactei. and ennobling influence, singlejife has nothing in all its discipline to offer which can compare- with the purifying teaching of marL'ried life where that' Jife is well and fully lived. So many married people, however. i either ignore or' fail to comprehend the obliI gations that the married state entails, and I it would be better a thousand times that such people should remain single than assume responsibilities they really are not fit to bear. Will you kindly repeat your former, suggestion for a topic? Did 'you notread my note to you in " Answers to Correspondents "?

Dear Emmeline,— Please accept this time * few lines in favour of single life, winch all might well live up to without any disadvantages.

AN OLD MAID.

Her eyes, like quiet pools, are clear, Her placid face is sweet and fair; The frost of many a vanished year Lies on her hair.

She has no memories of vows Exchanged below an April moon, Or whispered converse 'neatb. the boughs Of rose-bright June. * She never planned her wedding gown, This sweet old true and good, lor her life held 'no sacred crowu Of motherhood.

Yet to the shelter of her side The little orphan children press ; 'Tis known she mothers, far and wide, The motherless. „ The poor and suffering love her well, Such ready sympathy she shows; The sorrow-burdened freely tell To her their woes. For those who stumble^ those who fall, Her heart with gentlest ruth is stirred, Sue has a kindly Frnile for all — A cheering word. Vv'ith Fate she never wages strife, " It must be right, since G-ocl knows best," Aid so she lives her usefutfejife, Blessing and blest. *; Sha strews the thorny path with flowers, She turns the darkness iuto day; "And as we clasp her hand in ours, 'tVe can but &!>y:

" Dear friend, so rich in love and tiuth, With large warm heart and steadfast mind, 'Twas well for some that in your youth The men were blind."

ttOWAN TREE.

The lines you send, dear friend, will perhaps almost convince " Sweetbriar " that there may be something to compensate for the missing of wedded happiness. I would not have missed her contribution for world* — it brought tears to my eyes — and yours paints as perfect a picture of the highest happiness to be gained in a single life. I am well convinced that the true secret of " Sweetbriar's " happy wife and "Rowan Tree's "' beloved old maid lies beyond any question of married or single — in The breast of God.

Dear Emmeline, — Being married myself, perhaps I am not a strictly impartial judge on this subject, but I certainly do think that married- life holds many advantages which are wanting in single life. If a person is suitably and happily married the contentment and happiness that flood his or her whole life must react on their spiritual nature, and gradually the tone of their lives will be raised, their thoughts and desires will become purer and better, and their characters will become nobler.

Looking at the question from a purely domestic point of view I think the wives have the best of it. What matter is it how hard they have to work? Have they not a sweet reward in the "love that lightens labour"? And though among the sisters and daughter of our homes there are few who do not give a willing help in the work that must be done, yet naturally the wife takes a deeper and more abiding interest in her home than do those who look upon their home life mainly as a training- for a fuller and more settled life yet to come.

Then, again, the wife, as mistress of her home, has many chances of doing good that are denied to single women living in the homes of their parents. By kindly invitations, cheerful and friendly converse, and loving sympathy, she may do muoh to brighten dreary lives and to comfort and strengthen those around her who are in need of help.

ROSALIE

You are softening my vieAvs, my comrades ! Will you convert me in the end to being a believer in the superior happiness of the married state? Its nobility, its sacredness, its beauty, I have always held dear, but ifa. happiness has seemed — commonplace, material happiness I mean — problematical. But you, " Rosalie," why you even think the wives have the best of it ! You happy, happy woman! I should like to have you and " Sweetbriar," and " Country Mouse " quite near to me to correct my views of life in some respects, while "Rowan Tree" in other directions -would enlarge my faith

and build up the hopes that sometimes flicker so low. Dear Emmeline, — The principal advantage of a single life is its freedom and independence as compared with a married life. Though there are responsibilities, especially on those who have to make their own living, this freedom allows time for philanthropic work and kindly schemes fpr the benefit of friends or less fortunate neighbours, as well as for mankinds in general. Then, generally speaking, social pleasures aud fecreation lie more in the paths of those who lead single lives, but the advantages and disadvantages greatly depend upon social position and means at command.

The greatest disadvantage of a single life is the dreary prospect when, sooner or later, a man's or woman's best days are past of a lonely, perhaps po\ erty-stricken, old age. Wealth can command comforts to a certain extent, but never sympathy and love, and the nearest and dearest of wayside friendships c:m never take tlie place of the love of husband or wife, or make up for the want of a happy though, perhaps, humble home. What are &\\ one's ambitions and strivings and longings to even one's greatest friend? Then, though there are temptations in all paths of life, the path of the single, especially that of tlie young man who, with a fair amount of money to spend, is " such a jolly good fellow," is beset with snares and pitfalls which lead to bad -company, and its- degrading influences. The responsibilities and interests of a home in many cases-would arrest a downfall.

Hoping that this, '-my first attempt at a contribution to the Cosy Corner Club, may be -worth a place in your column, and with good wishes for the success of the club, which giver an added interest. to the Ladies' Page, especially to country readers. — 1 remain, etc.,

Yes, '' Val," it is when poverty, or at any rate straitened means, must be faced that the old age of the single is so sad. For a man it-is nothing comparatively ; for a woman it must indeed be a dreary prospect. -Still, there is this to be said, poverty for one's «elf alone cannot possibly be so bitter, so hard to bear, so full of impotent grief as poverty endured by a household of helpless children,- whose wants \wring the mother's heart ; or poverty shared by one we love and are helpless to snatch from its grinding misery. There are compensations in all things, and personal suffering is small indeed compared with the agony of watching the sufferings of those we love and are impotent to save. Dear Emmeline, — As I have taken great interest in your Cosy Corner Club, I thought I would send a few remarkt for your next meeting if you think them suitable. I think the club a very good idea, and wish it every success. First, t will mention a few of the disadvantages of single life. The greatest of all, in -my opinion, is that it prevents the development of all the finer qualities of a woman's nature and she naturally becomes maeculine in her manner, which is very objectionable. Then it is part of woman's nature to love, if sits does not place her affections on some young "man she becomes self- existent. Then as "years roll by, instead of having a' home with a family of grown-up children to welcome you, you find yourself left out in the cold. Some of your friends are married and are. too busy with their own family ties to keep a place in their hearts for you, and others are scattered in.all directions, and when you require the sympathy and company of some one, you do not know where to look for it, for, alas, it is too late. I think I will have to mention a* few of the advantages now as 1 could keep on writing about the disadvantages long enough. A few of the advantages are, first, freedom in every particular, which means a lot to some girls. Then you have not the trouble and worry most married women have to put up with, especially when the family is small. VERONICA.

" Veronica " will _ scarcely think that " Rowan. Tree " and she can 'be thinking of the same person — their respective ideas about old maids are so different. It is true, dear, that even the dearest " wayside friends," as "Val" so happily calls them cannot compare with the nearer pr>d dearer lies that marriage affords, but I really "do not think that a sweet, true, sunny-tem-pered woman need be neglected, forgotten, or lonely in her old age, even if she is an old maid. Poverty seems to me the only real spectre which need terrify the single woman. Surely all the rest lies very much with herself.

Dear Emmeline, — I have been very interested in your C. C/ C, so much so I thought I would like to join you at this meeting. In some cases it is a- great advantage to be single. For instance, if your parents are petting up in years,' and are not in a position to keep themselves, a son or a daughter, if single, can very often do so much for them, whereas if they were married they could not help them at all. I know, people who have remained single, the best part of their lives just to help their families. Of course, one needs to lie very unselfish to remain single in cases of this kind. Single life of to-day is not what it was some 15 or 20 years a.go. A girl ia not looked down on nowadays if sbe remains single, but if she did in the old days she was .it once called an " old maid," and society "knew her not." But Florence Nightingale was an exception. It is said she denied herself the joy and sweetness of wedded happiness to give her life to service in army hospitals, carrying to wounded and weary men the blessing of her kindly ministiy, instead of f'mtting it up within the walls of a home of her own. I am afraid there are not many Florence Nightingales in \he .World. Of course, there are some men and women who remain single all their lives, but I think it is a very lonely life when you get up in years, much more so for a man than a woman. I think an old bachelor is very much to be pitied. Do you not think so, Emmeline? I would advice all men and women to marry feme day, providing they have no home ties to keep them single, and that they meet the right person. But better remain single a thousand times than marry the wrong person.

A COUNTRY LASSIE.

I love the unselfish and simple filial love which, prompts the chief part of your contribution, " Country Lassie." You are the only one among us to haye — quite naturally and unconsciously — reminded us of the very greatest privilege ->f single life, and I thank you warmly. I have known several women — all honour to them — who have remained single in order to comfort and support their parents, and I do think it is a most beautiful form of love.

Yes, I do pity old bachelors in a way — but not so very much, you know. It is usually their oura fault that they are so A

and in most cases it certainly is their otto fault -if they have not saved up enough to ensure them against poverty. I think old maids among the working class or among poor gentle people are really in a far, far sadder plight, so far as material prospects S °' Dear Emmeline, — No doubt, there are plenty of advantages connected with a single life, but when compared with its disadvantages they fade into insignificance. In the first place there is no getting away fronuthe fact that a single life must naturally be more selfish than a married one, for self-denial is not so often brought to bear, and it is selfdenial that keeps the selfishness of our nature under • control.

My opening remark refers more to women than men, for man certainly shares the greater of the advantages of single life. Take, for example, a young man with an income of about £3 per week, living with his parents (v some relatives who take an active interest i': him. He lias all the comforts of life provided for him, and very little care or "worry. He can put on his hat, go where he likes, and I come home when he likes ; whereas if he was married he would have all the anxieties (which j always exist even in the happiest of homes) of a home, and a wife to study and please. And yet to take the opposite side of the question, if he is a good man what are all those, advantages in comparison with the disadvantages? Tlie present may be all right, but we must look to the future. He niust eventually tire of living only for self and having no one who really caresfor him ; the parents gone to Him who has called them, while brothers and sisters have made other ties.

As I have stated that man shaved the greater advantages, and my example has proved (at least. I hope it has) that even those are at a low discount, I think' any other remarks could only be a repetition of my opinion. Besides, as this is my first contribution to the dub it had be,st be a short one.

SILENT FRIEND.

With. "Silent Friend" I too am of opinion that the man has .the best of it so far as the material advantages of a single life jure concerned. But he has the worst of the moral disadvantages, lam -sure. You see, a man, unless he has family ties of his own, is so unable fco enter into the family life and interests of others — at least to any great' extent. Where the sweet maiden aunt is installed in the very heart of things, "the lonely old uncle is left to fuss out in the cold ! In the very nature of things the single man — unless under very exceptional circumstances— is apt to become faddy and selfish. Most likely he becomes cynical, mean, and hard, causing no pleasure, therefore receiving none*-; giving no affection, therefore unworthy of any. Can there be .i. more pitiful picture than this dead heart in a liring body? Now, my comrades, as we say good-bye let me thank you one and all for your loyal, kindly help and .good wishes. May our next meeting — aye, and many a one to. come ! — prove equally successful ! •• •• - ' EMMELINE; ; '

Club meets on July 13. Contributions to be! ia by July 1. < TOPIC. • Your favourite personage among all the celebrated men of Queon Elizabeth's reign. Rea-' sons for your preference, qualities you most admire in -him. . _ " ,

Club meets August JO. Contributions to be in by July 31.

TOPIC. A The country in which you most desire t8 travel, and the places or sights you most wish to ace there.

This topic may, by a careful handling and pleasant description (gleaned from experience or reading) be made most interr-sting, 1 ihink.