Making a Choice.

Otago Witness, Issue 2289, 13 January 1898, Page 52

Making a Choice.

-There is nothing which so damps the ardour of a hungry man as exasperating and utmeiessary tr",Qes. Therefore when Smith picked up the bill of fare and found it printed in choice restaucant French he uttered strong word*. Ho waa serenity itself, however, when the waiter approached. "Look here, waiter,'" said he, "there is nothing oa this bill that I care for."

" We can ferve you with anything you like for dinner, sir," with an air of pcoud confidenca. 11 Have you sins qua non ? " The waiter stared and answered, ; " No — o— o,

1 "Well, let me hare some nice ignis fatuus-* of course you have this ? " " No, sir ; we don't serve them in Lent," " Have you tvayjeux d' esprit ? " "No_, sir; nob a single one." " This is too bad. You may bring some tempus fuffit." " Sorry, sir ; it's just off." " Well, then, perhaps you have c pluribus unuvi ? " The waiter brightened up. "It seems to me I have heard them speak about that, sir," and he rushed off to the kitchen, bufe returned empty-handed and said regretfully, "We haven't got it." " ffave you pro lono publico ?" "No, sir," gasped the waiter, almost crazy. But the guest was placidity itself, and asked quietly : " Have you vice versa ? " The waiter could only shake his head. "No ? Well, perhaps you might have roasfe beef and baked potatoes ? " "Yes, sir; we really hwe that," exclaimed the -waiter as he fairly flew into the kitchen.