PASSING NOTES.

Otago Witness, Issue 2286, 23 December 1897, Page 3

PASSING NOTES.

(From Saturday's Daily Times.) It is not Old Age Pensions that the Lords have slain but the Old Age Pensions Bill. Expectant pensioners may find this distinction hard to grasp. But it is real enough For the fact that such a distinction is possible they may bless Mr Saddon. With his I compact majority Mr Ssddon could have pat a sensible and' intelligible Old Age Pensions Bill through tha Lower House unaltered — if he had introduced such a bill.' Bat he didn't. The bill he introduced he neither understood himself nor could make anybody else understand, and this unintelligible bill he virtually abandoned to the mangling and muddling of three score irresponsible legislators. By the time that they had done with it the bill was an exaggerated plagiarism of the celebrated epitaph on John Drum, Provost of Dundee, t which epitaph the Town Council, to save expense, composed themselves", each councillor contributing a line. The first began — y Here lies John Drum, Provost of Dundee ; The second, added — Here lies him, here lies he ; And the third, beyond whose effort the genius of the council could not further go, wound up with — Hallelujah, Hallelujee ! ' This was the condition of the Old Age - Pensions "Bill "when' sent up "to the Lords, who, observe, were not permitted to amend, but only to .swallow or reject iii toto. They rejected' in 'foto," for w"hfch".relief much thanks 1 Mr Seddon. will shed a few crocodile's teara ; if he has any real tears at command they will .come 'in- useful for . ithe. sorry :figure he cuts dragged' at the tail of his infuriated lieutenant John M'Kenzio running amuck against the judges and the law courts, and for the very suggestive defeat he has just suffered in the first division on the Horowhenua scandal the said John M'Kenzle has provided for him. Dear Civis, — About the new Choral Society's "Bliiab.." I am &Ud to 890 tliafc the Times

reporter has had tbt? courage to tell tha truth — ( in part. [Thanks ! — The Times r«porter will j b9 very much obliged to you. However, go \ on!] The orchestra, he says, was "not ] strong." ' No, it was not strong ! Mr Barbh • and an American organ would have beat the lot. What is moiv, an American organ would probably have played the notes, whereas the \ very firtt chord the orchestra played was an ' atrocious d : scoi'd, and having thus made a : record they lived up to it. As for tone, I have ! heard as good from a sawmill. Theoverture! — save me tiom ever again listening to the like ! Mr Coombs 'must be a modtl of patience ; for Mr . Coombs, be it understood, kaowa what's what. H*d it been Meuduls*ohn he wou'd have fluDg his baton at their heads and rushed out of the hall with his fingers in his ears. The incantation scene (•• Go up now child ") might have been an auction for any solemnity there was in it ; the storm music it leads iuto was a veritable storm in a teapot ; in the " rain, chorus" th*t follows — which was taken last night iv comfortable wtl'z time, for the greater comfort possibly of the orchestra — in this chorus, near the cud the fiddles hare a two bars, swift, descending passage all to themselves, consecutive notes, double forte. It was the catastrophe or' Jack and Jill. Jack cine down aji 1 broke his crown, And Jill ca,nn tumbling after. Alas and alack a-d&y ! And yet there were good musicians, iv this orchbstra ; I saw them with my own eyes. What is the meaning of it ? Albert Hall. The meaning of it is that there must be a good deal of exaggeration in this letter. If the Times reporter told the truth only in part, " Albert Hall "' seems to be the kind of witness who, on occasion, would tell — what shall I say ? —crammers, crackers, stretchers, by the> bucketful. I print his effusion because it tallies with a good deal that I hear abcut the misdoings of the orchestra in this the maiden effort of the Danedin Choral Society, but when it comes to accepting it as veracious, that I decline to do, except at a substantial discount, say 50 per cent. The truth of the matter seems to be that the orchestra, though good enough in itself, had not been at the pains to rehearse, and that Mendelssohn's " Elijah " is not the sort of composition with which a liberty of this kind can bo safely taken.

Dunedin, 14-fch December, 1897. Dear Civip, — Either ou section 42 or section 43, block XIV, Duucdit), stand two r tall gumtrees. A ftw months ago these trees were harmless euougu, but during the last three weeks havo grown to such an extent that they have completely shut out fnru the view of thoae liviug in Moray place Weat the lower half of that blessing to all Dunedin citizens — the Towu Hall clock. Now, as a remedy, I would beg to suggest that either the trees bs cut down a few feet, or thit the Town Hall tower be raised. It you will kiudly draw attention to this matter in your " Passing Notts" of next Saturday you will greatly oblige A Correspondent. The theory of land ownership is, I believe, that proprietary rights extend all the way from earth to sky. This is the theory, practically there are limitations. If I proposed -to erect on my quarter-acre town allotment an Eifftl Tower, tbe City Council, I imagine, would have something to say to me. I should probably have to get an Act of Parliament. On the other hand if I choose to cover the said allotment with forest trees, eclipsing my neighbour's view, robbing him of sun, soaking his ground with damp, and choking his gutters with' leaves, it may be tha,t there is nothing in law to prevent me. Nothing in law, it may be ; but there should be a good- deal in citizenship. -People who live in cities are bound to be respectful of each other's convenience. , Legally I may be entitled to interrupt my neighbour's slumbers by prac- j tising on the trombone or the side. drum, or by keeping 'a dog that all night bays the j moon ; morally I am not. Aud the moral | of this "homily is that people who decorate their gardens with blue gums to the irritation of the man over the fence, his exasperation, and possibly the imperiling of his salvation, may be recommended to lose no time in converting those gums into firewoodj. - . • -^ One of the events of a busy week has been the .statutory installation of the mayor. TUe Legislature in its wisdom has ordained that t .the function shall take place at noon, and.the fitting pomplement. to this arrangement is that ladies should' be invited to witness it. The new mayor has introduced this custom, and by the many-headed no doubt this will be attributed to the growth of femxle influence in public matters. This cannot be said with reference to municipal matterp, in which woman has no greater influence than ever she had, the law not having been changed. Nor is the experience of the lactr mayor of Onehuuga or the lady

councillor of Potone likely to accelerate the rush of women into municipal politics. Ba that as it miy, the ladies who assembled in large uumbera-to hear Mr Gourley pronounce his official valedictory oration, an"d to see Mr Cargill subscribe to the municipal confession of faith, were not disappointed. S jmeone has described Mr Cargill as peppery, and in his maiden spaech as mayor he gave speedy proof that he possesses a happy turn for abuse. To be able to abusa a man p )litely is one of the fine arts. Councillors, says the new mayor, " are not to be deterred by the carping criticism, of anonymous ! scribbler?, who take no part in the work of advancing the city's interests except by writing to the newspapers." Was this in anticipation of the -eruption of correspondence which may be expected now that Cr Solomon's economical instincts respecting the mayoral honorarium have not bean allowed practical outlet ? A fig for Christchurch, Wellington," and Auckland, villages somewhere up north, that give their mayors only Ll5O and L2OO. Danedin gives her mayor L-100, and expects value for the money. The Scotchman's retort to Johnson's sneerirjg definition of oals was "Where will you see such horses and such men? " The Dauedin man's retort to northern gibes might be " Where will you find sach councillors and such mayors 1 " ■ _ ' By the time"' this note is in my readers' hands all the schools ' will have " broken up," the classrooms will ba silent, the teachers dispersed to cool their throbbing brows in' the cool forests and'to driak their fill of silence, and the pupils emancipated to a six-weeks' romp nnmarred by lessons and undimmed by scholastic restraint. 'Eheu, fugaces ■' Can you or I, dear reader, peer down the dim aisles of the past and recall the feverish joy of. emancipation from school ? Mr Denniston, at the B >js' High School, enjoined the departing alumni to make the best use of their youtb, but I am afraid wise admonitions will not change the youthful desire to reach man's estate. Oh, that they would pay heed to valedictory addresses, retain their- delight in the trivial joys of boyhood, and cease their longing for the fierce delights of adolescence, when Fair laughs the mom, and soft the zephyr blow?, While proudly rising o'er the azure realm. Iti galltfnt trim the gilded vessel goes — Youth at the prow and pleasure at the helm. To be really candid, I think school breakingup ceremonies have sadly degenerated. It may be of course that the speakers of today have a vivid remembrance of similar inflictions upon themselves, and now endeavour to repay their obligation with interest, but if the account is to go on swelling at compound interest the time will come when the speeches will be taken as read, and tbe.pupils iearn of the advent of the holidays from advertisement in the morning , newspaper. The punishment is greater than the offence. Afa breaking- up ceremony I am of the opinion of Cicero — I approve of i a youth that has something of the old man in him, so lam no* less pleased with an old man that has something of the youth. Probably Mr Djnniston had something of the kind in his mind when he said it was possible to retain a- boy's heart after the beard had grown. He did not reckon with the printer, who no doubt knew much better, and made it " impossible." And yet I suppose a printer would be offanded if you told him what you really thought about him. I do not know whether Mr R. Clark is a Scotchman or not, bu£ I am inclined to think that he is so from his intimate acquaintance with "lang nebbit" word?. His majestic periods are sesquipedalian ; words or one syllable he despises. Mr Clark very often reminds me of the American canvasser's warning to the person who never advertises. He is like a fellow trying to kiss a pretty girl in the dark : he may know what he is driving at, but no one else does. Called upon by a correspondent-, evidently lying in wait, to explain what he means by " ethical morality " and " ethical moral principle," Mr Clark plunges into a morats of definition,' from "which he finally emerges flushed but triumphant with the discovery that an ethiciat is one who is skilled in the science of ethics, and ethics in operation is an analysis of the principles, customs, and laws by which the morals of peoples are constituted and controlled. Bravo I Mr Clark. A professor of philosophy could noi have done better, nor could he improve on the deduction. " Natnrally, then, science, being the dispenser of truth, ifc i« correct when applying the absolute sense of correctness to any subject to speak thus : ' Scientific ' government, 'scientific' farming, &c. : ergo [why didn't he Bay " areal " like Hawtfet'u irravedisrtzer. who

talked as wisely ?],^tq^§ntific ' morality, or,' in other words, ' ethical ' morality." Well, if ethical morality means scientific morality, and scientific morality is .that to which an i "absolute sense "~ of ~ correctness may be' " applied," why did Mr Clark not say «o irr the first instance without beating about the. bush? IE he had said "scientific morality" his correspondent would not have.pooncedupbn him. Bat lam afraid Mr Clark's .explanation only makes tha matter more.h^?y:.;.>He will probably now be asked how he knows that" science is the dispenser of truth, and will be invited to explain what he means by an "absolute sense of correctness." I fear Mr Clark has been at a feast of languages and has stolen the scraps. CiV.S.