PLOTS HATCHED FOR PALTRY ENDS.

Otago Witness, Issue 2286, 23 December 1897, Page 56

PLOTS HATCHED FOR PALTRY ENDS.

What Some Folk Will Do to Attain

an Object.

Everyone has heard of the Chinaman- who turned down his house in order to roast a sucking pig. _ The circumstance, indeed, is usually taken as a typical example of small 'results achieved by huge preparation. The Celestial Empire, however, boasts no " corner "in such happenings. Sucking.pigs of all sorts are to-day constantly being roasted by means that are equally put of all proportion to their own importance ; and, even in the Bingle department of crime, instances of terrible misdeeds wrought for microscopic gain are, unhappily, only too abnndant.

TO PROVIDE HIS WIFE WITH WORK.

In a big provincial city fche police were recently called upon to investigate a peculiar mystery. Cotton being conveyed through a particular street, constant lj and unaccountably caught fire. At last the watchers gained a' clue. From the top window of a house a man was 'seen to throw something upon two tinge waggon-loads of cotton, which were subsequently discovered to be on fire. The room was at once> searched, revealing a coke fire and a piece of tin with which tha occupant was accustomed to throw out cinders. Two months' hard labour for wilful damage was the sentence meted out. The only motive that could be hit upon for this act of incendiarism was that it made work for the salvage corps, by whom the prisoner's" Wif e was employed as a forewoman in charge of a staff of lorters of damaged cotton. -

BECAUSE HE HATED BTCXCLES.

Swiss cyclistß were at one period last season treated to a little excitement by the action of a cycle-hatirg tradesman in an important town. Resolved on an attempt to lessen the number of riders seen abouf, this individual hatched a scheme for producing a plague of punctures. He laid in an enormous stock of tin-tacks. When darkoesg set in on the evening previous to an important road race, he spent the hours far into the morning in sowing tin tacks all over the rpute to be used. Tired out, he returned home and waited.

The race began ; bat as soon as the competitors entered the well-baited district punctures took place every few yards, and iaa.nj falls and smashes resulted, the contest having ultimately to be abandoned. Happily, the fact that the schemer had purchased large quantities of the little nails soon came out. Accused "of the crime he ultimately confessed and begged for mercy. At' first' it v^as proposed to insist that he should present each competitor with anew machine ; but in the end-he was let off on agreeing to replace any tyre damaged by a tack in that town. , ,To an individual who had for some years paid for the insuring of his premises, the idea at lesgth occurred that the^half-yearly premiums were a distinct waste of money if he was never to have a lire. He resided in a block of three houses, of which one waß empty ; and, choosing a time when his neighbours were away from home, he entered the end premises and set them on fire. Ere the conflagration was extinguished all three houses were more or less demolished. Three residences destroyed and two homes ruined in an attempt to get back something of an outlay of about £3. FOB THE SAKE OF ONI/Y TWOPENCE. Of terrible crimes committed for small gains an example was quite recently mentioned in the papers. The driver of one of the "carazellas," or small open carriages that ply for hire in the streets of Naples, murdered another driveT in order to get back a fare of 20 centesimi, equal to 23, to which the murderer considered he was entitled. Even this is outmatched by the case of a tramp who on the road fell in .with a house painter going hopping. The latter possessed in cash only Id, and this he one evening announced he should reserve to purchase next morning's breakfast with. He never lived to see the morning, for the tramp attacked and killed him in his sleep, afterwards taking the fatal penny from the murdered man's clothing.

To become officials of some local Importaxca is quite a craza with individuals of a certain stamp. One gentleman, smitten in this way, longed to be appointed to a post on ajocal council. He was rich, and he started to' use his wealth as a means towards the wished-for end. ■ He subscribed largely to all funds opened, built alrashouses, and gave recreation grounds". At last, when he bad spent thousands of pounds in the quest, a minor position was offered to him. Joyfully he accepted it, and desiring {a speedy step up, he spent a few hundreds more to obtain it. About a month after this outlay members were invited to come up for re-election for an ensuing period. To his dismay, the man who had paid so much for his position waa now ousted from it. He had, in fact, overshot the mark, for everyone feared the power his wealth might give him. WANTED TO SHARE IN IHE FREE MEALS

. Another example of a heroic effort made to secure a small benefit occurred at a time when in winter soup kitchens had been opened in unusual numbers. Reading about these in a newspaper, a man walked all tbe way from Scotland to the metropolis in order to share in tbe free meals distributed. A working woman, well able to get charring near her home, yet journeyed on foot eight miles twice a week* to a certain house for many months, so that she might be in a position to ask for a ticket for two hundredweight of coals distributed annually. I ' Peculiar was the ambition of the young son of a legal gentleman. Much enamouigd of the delights of a certain mußic hall, bis proudest wish was to be placed upon its "free list." He cherished his dream for years, and at last, when well on in his teens, he hit npon a way of realising it. Having saved up as much money as possible, he opened a very small tobacconist's shop, wrote to tbe manager of the variety paradise informing "him of the fact, and offered to display a bill of the entertainment. For so doing he, as is usuaL received a ticket admitting him to the hall Tree one night each week. Not a single occasion did he miss, until, funds fiving out, his modest little establishment ad to be closed. » Speakiog of theatres, the evidence of a

country manager Is in this connection of interest. „

ALL FOR TWO THEATRE PASSES.

Siys he : "No one but a man in my position would believe money people will spend in order to get a free ticket. Oaly one day last week I was introduced to a gentleman whom, by instinct, I knew to be after a gratuitous pass. We spent best part of the day together, he paying for refreshments, cigars, and even for lunch. These he positively insisted upon providing at his own expsnse. We parted about 5 o'clock, when he said, 'By the way, have you got a couple of seats vacant for to-night ? ' ' Certainly,' I answored. ' What part of the house would you like?' 'Oh! dress circle, if convenient.' Tickets for himself and wife represented 6*. To secure^ them he had spent on me alone f uUy half a guinea - T and I could tell you of other examples yet more surprising still."