I Of More Use.

Otago Witness, Issue 2263, 15 July 1897, Page 59

I Of More Use.

A well-known Yorkshire gentleman,, whom we will call Mr V , some je&rs ago met with a serious accident in the hunting field, as the result of which he lost one of his legs. . Becoming accustomed to the use of his artificial substitute, he recently astonished his friends by turning up at the " meet." " Why, V ," exclaimed one old friend, " you're not going to follow, surely ? " "Indeed I am," retorted Mr V ; "I'm worth a dozen dead men yet." Other friends attempted to dissuade him from his purpose, but Mr V was determined to "have another run, if it killed him." All went well until, crossing a grass field, Mr V 's horse trod in a hole and stumbled, throwing its rider heavily on to the turf. While Mr V lay half-stunned, but little the worse, a gentleman hastily dismounted and went to his assistance. He was not aware of Mr V 's misfortune, and in bis hasty examination he came across the artificial limb. " Good gracious !" he ejaculated. "Is there a doctor on the field ? This gentleman's leg is broken in half a dozen places ! " By this time a good many horsemen had assembled, and a titter went round, which turned into a. roar as Mr V grimly remarked : "A doctor! What's the good of a doctor? Kindly ascertain if there's a carpenter at hand ! " The Jackrabfoit was Good Enough. The tourist from the east who had dropped into an Arizona restaurant said to the waiter, "Bring me a Welsh rabbit, please." The waiter was gone a long time and finally ' returned with the proprietor. " Mister," inquired the lafcfcei", "are you the man that • wanted some Wel«h rabbit?" "Yes,"' replied the traveller. "Well, sir," rejoined the proprietor, casually placing his hand on his hip pocket, " we don't keep no imported game at this house. If pl&in American jackrabbit ain't j good enough " J " Why, yes," gasped the terrified customer, ] "bring me a j — j — jackrabbit." Why lie Worried. " Good morning, Jasper," said a gentleman to his "darky" servant; "I am very sorry to hear of your domestic trouble." } " Wha' sorter trouble <iat, aah ? " "Why, I mean the trouble in your home affairs. lam told thai; your wife has run away from you. Is it a fact ? " " 'Daed it ar', sah." "Of course, you feel very bad about it ? " " Yns, sah. De way de matter sfcan' at de presen' time, sah, 1 feels mighty bad." "At the present time— what do you mean by ! that ? " J "I mean, sah," replied the old man, " dat j she hain't had tirae yit ter go fur 'nough 'way to make dis chile feel sho' dat she hain't comiu' back." « The Policeman and the Burglar. A clever paper dealing with policemen and theic works and ways appears in the May number of ihe Windsor Magazine, in which is the ; following description, by a member of the London torce, of some of the difficulties of a policeman's life : — The cases that thrill people as they read them ; in the newspapers are the exception and not the j rule. Even detectives have a very monotonous I time in a general way. Nothing could be more ! untrue to fact than the detective stories which 1 seem to be so popular in the. migazines just now. I've done a good deal of plain-clothes j work myself, so I know what it is. Wb.su I ! first joined the force I once made a terrible fool of niyselt'. I was on night duty, and uofciced a light moving in a house about four o'clock in the morning. Instead of quir-tly signalling some more men and getting the house surrounded, I foolishly kuocked at the front door, to alarm the inmates. "Who's there?" came a voice from within. " A policeman ; open the door," said I. " Oh, it's all right," was the answer ; " I'm jnst gettiug np." So I quietly went on my way, and a few hours later the news arrived at the station that the house had been broken iato during the uight. You see, the burglar had himself answered my knock and had afterwards escaped through a back window. I nearly gob dismissed over that business, I have not been knocked about much myself, though, of course, some men get very severely handled. Last year 2291 London policemen were assaulted in the execution of their duty. I waß once knocked down by a drunken man in the Holloway rosd, and on another occasion I Rot pretty roughly treated by a man with a wooden leg in tbe Edgware road. If; took sis of us to convey that man to the station. Of course one is obliged to be careful jn struggling with a prisoner. An unlucky blow • may cause some quite unintended injury, and then the newspapers all talk about the brutality of the police ! For instance, it is not safe to trip up a struggliug prisoner. I did it once in my early days, and t^e man's head struck the pivement with a thud that was be&rd by the sergeant a quarter of a mile aw&y. Of course this was 1 when all was auiet at night.

Then we hare to bo very cautious how we use our truncheons. The regulations tell us never to strike at the head, but always at the limbs, bo as to disable the prisoner. For my part I have only used my truncheon once during my whole career. That was on Hampstead Heath, and the prisoner had previously knocked two of my teeth out. My greatest scare happened some years ago, when I was on night duty. I saw a light in a house, signalled for help, surrounded the premises, and then went in with another oonstable. After a long search we found oar man hiding in a cupboard, and he at once presented a pistol at me. Of course I hit out, and lost no time about it, sa as te disable him, and then the pistol turned out to be a pipe case !