PASSING NOTES. (From Saturday's Daily Tunes.)

Otago Witness, Issue 2249, 8 April 1897, Page 3

PASSING NOTES. (From Saturday's Daily Tunes.)

AT tho meeting to promote ths obcervanco of Anniversary Day some one remarked — -I think it was Mr Dawnie Stewart — that be did not approve of holidays in honour of St. Patrick, St. Andrew, and S- George. Neither do I. As national saints of the British Isles these three ancient worthies are getting credit under false pretences. S1".S 1 ". Patrick, whom Irishmen claim as their owo, w&s certainly not an Irishman, but a Scotchman; i I have even haard it affirmed that he was not a Roman Catholic. This leaves St. Pal rick in a sorry plight. St. Andrew, being an apoitle, was personally a moat respectable saint, no doubt; but why does be preside over Scotland ? A speaker at a public dinner recently in Edinburgh said that the mo&t probable reason was that Andrew was tbe apostle that found the lad who had the ioaves and fishes. This sounds like a satirical joke at the expense of the Scotch. As for St. George of England, he is the most unsatisfactory of the lot, decidedly. I have exposed this impostor before, but take occasion here to reprint the latest authentic account of him :— George of Cappadocia, born at Epiphania in Cilicia, wa* a low parasite, who got a lucrative contract to supply the army with bacon. A rogue and informer, he got rich and was forced to run from justice. He caved his money, embraced Ariauism, collected a library, and got promoted by a faction to the epkeapal thro? c of Alexandria. When Julian came, a D 361, George w*» dragged to prison ; the prison was burst open by the mob, and George was lynched as he deserved. And this previous kuave became, in good time, Saint George of England, patron of chivalry, emblem of victory, aDd the pride of the best blood of the modern world. Perhaps, after all, St. George is not an unsuitable patron for a bank holiday— a Colonial Bank holiday, at any rate.

"Scotsman" writes to the Daily Time? that he objects to be called a 'Scotchman.' The ' otch ' of ' Scotch,' he says, " touches up is national sensitiveness." Rsally,— is that

, co ! Tt must be, 1 tapposa, because of the rhyms with 'botch'; also with 'potch,' as j in • hotch-potch ' ; possibly, too, there ia i ! a faint suggestion of the ' itch ' in j ' parritcb ' ; — though that, one would i ; think, should be a reoornaiendation, not j i a ground of dislike. Bat, anyhow, n \ I national semitiveneßS must bo respected. If I *' Scotsman," should we chance to meet in i ' the flesh, will give me scrnt fireside signal — some nod, or wink, or wreathed smile — by , ' which to identify him, a • Scotsman ' he , Rhall bp, and not a 'Scotchman.' So much i I can do for him ; but that is all. Promise j !to extirpate ' Scotchman ' from general ■ | literature, or even from this column, I can't and won't. The word ' Scotch' is the word ; ' Scottish ' abbreviated and softened by \ common consent for common convenience, i , Says "Scotsman": "The latter 'h' haß no legitimate place in the word. My own surmii'O is that it is one of the masy dropped i by English folk in their little excursions ' scrosa the Border." Wt>lJ, the Eyolish do drop their ' h'd ' about a good deal, no douit, and if they bavo dropped a few in Scotland i these may come in useful to The natives for . their l liwat'a ' and • hwhen's.' But the 'h' in j • Sco'ch ' is a Scotch 'h,' — as Scotch as C-n Lomond, and "Scotsman" is unpatriotic in wanting to get rid of it. Br tho way, what is the female of ' Scotsman ' ? Lt it ' Scotswoman? Arid are we to speak of 'Scots 1 terriers ' and ' Scots thistles ' 1 I don't think we shall ; any more than ws shall cease to , ■ speak — with respect acd affection — oi Scotch ■ Bongs, Scotch whisky, and Scotch lasses. [ __._J

The most commendable 'eatara of the , Ward clow-Colonial Bank debacle is the ; great candour of all concerned. While the negotiations for the amalgamation of the banks were going forward all were mute as ' fishes. And yet the crust on which they were treading must h».re been veiy thin, t That crust having been broken, and some of ! those who walkad on it having been pre- j c'.pitated into tho abyss, they are now crying . out, and endeavouring to explain how it cam*j about that they got there. Bach one reveals a little bit more and necessitates a freah crop of explanations from other parties I implicated, to the edification of the | public, the enrichment of the lawyers, j and the scorn of the unregenerate. The* laborious task of winnowing the mass of chaff ' for the few grains of wheat has yet to be i undertaken. It may, percbance, yet be found J that what we now t.ake for reticencu is not ; reluctance to divulge the facts, but really < ijrnoracce. On the charitable hypothesis that no one knew v/hac was going on — that the bank was slowly but surely and help- , levsly drilticg ou tho rocks for years without ' so much as a warning shout from anyone — tbe collapse may be explained. But that will not exonerate anybody. Ignorance is the greatest of all busioess sins. Many a business man would rather be considered a rogue than a fool. They manage these tbicg3 better in China, according to the Scotsman : Thsy send no gli'tering statements out "When a bank goes to smash in China, j To show it is solvent beyond a doubt Vt'hs-u a bank goes to smash in China, i No pitying tears you see there sbed, But thf-y take a big cheese kuife instead, Aid ampu*ate the President's head, And banks don't break in China. I .

I am being reluctantly compelled towards I low viaws of the intellectual faculty in ! ' women. It is with women as it is with horses. If the horse knew bis own strength we should never be able to bit and bridle him. And if women knew their power tbej might dominate the life of man from youth 1 to age, ruling — as poets have snng — the 1 courtj the camp, ths grove ; might dictate i the policic-s of governments and almoat the doctrines of the churches. If they only | knew where their strength lay ! But they j don't. In mercy ib has been hidden from them — iv mercy to men. This may not be true of all ; it is certainly trua of some. It ', is true of the Convention of Women, sitting iin Christchurcb. Their idea of acquiring , power and exerting influence is to become she-meD, do all that men do, and bo paid for it at. men's wages. Tney might as sanely ■ think of increasing their personal attrac- ; tiorss by growing beards and_ smoking tobacco. When women take to promoting - divorce and abolishing the marriage laws they might just as well wear beards for all the influence they are likely to exert over men. One of the Convention speakers, I notice, expressed admiration for the simplicity of the Scotch marriage rite. Jumping over a broomstick, it used to be, I believe. At present, you have only to say you are man and wife, and man and wife you are. Here I may bring in a story that I have not , yet Been in print : — A Scotch laird, on whose property was aa interesting waterfall, re-

csivscl a eoie from ft military officer iv ttie neighbouring garrison town asking permission to vieit it and to brirg a friend. Ia due course they came — the officer himself, and a lady or light reputation — in fact, his mistress. The old laird took note of the fact and prepared his revenge. After refreshments offered and recaived, he said to the man : "Is tbis your wife?" " Certainly," was the unabashed reply. Then ro the lady : "And this is your husband 1" " Ye*," she simpered. Then he said : " I didna think ye waur when ye cam 1 in ; but ye are noo " 1 In fact ho had married them. The Woman's Convention would correct a misadventure bneb as tbis by authorising the vie' ims to unmarry at their convenience. But then — as they aay ia stock-brokiug circle.' — Who would D 8 left to carry the baby ?

Not having yet bocome a votary of the fiicycle, I am not competent to expatiate on '.he fiercß joy a cyclist feels in reaming on hirf airy wheels. That there xn some sec-rYu joy in the hafcifc o? cycHag :s indubitable. For owe thing, there is xn ineffable air of superiority aboat the oyciist, especially too fomale variety. When th-y do deign to walk it is v palpable act; cf condescension, 'ia who should say : " I h&va descended from my pedestal to walk among common mortals, whereas if I chose I might be skimming along like a bird." And it i'< undeniable thai, many females do emulate birda when they ara cycling. Tneir ."-kicks flop up and down Jike clumsy wings, displaying a not inconsiderable funount of ankle. Of coarse they are noc conscious of the tffect upon onlookers. Nofc ev-^n *o a cycliste is it given to see hsrseif as others see her, which is perhaps a more merciful ditpeßsaticn of Providence than in most oa^es. Yet even tbape, as well as the most rtwfeward of male cyclists whose knees t.ouC'i their chins ay. every Ht«"oke, aud who looks like a job lor. of I o^hcoks and hangers, have the same far away look. The lover dreaming of his absent mistress, the exile yearnicg for his native land, the footballer in the summer s»6aaon, is nor. so rapt in abstraction. I have felt that I must become possessed of a bike In order to learn tbio mysterious secret, bub it is not necessary now. The following extract from a letter jusfc received by a business man in Dnnedin from a Melbourne friend explains it all : — " Th« fi nancin.l unpleasantness ;n Australia ia 1893 havicg taken the gils off some of my investments* made prior to that; date has left me rather poor, so I am going to take to a bicycle for the reason that when I am on I shall feel that I am bettor off. ' Tbis welcome contribution solved my riddle and at, the same time revealed a philosophic disposition.

What a, number of Eoglishmen will «'o when congregated together under givea circumstances can never be safely predicted. Tney may elect a chairman and pass resolutions about something ; they may even stone. a Chinaman ; but wautevor it is it may certainly be calculated that Jt; is something which man o£ any other nation would never dream of doing. Huglishmea (aud to allay the irritation of my Scotch friends, I may an well say that in this generic torm I include all Briton*) carry thdr characteristics everywhere. B-3 it within the Arctic circle or on the equator, they will do something pre-eminently English, down to the consumption of battled Bass. Henc* it was perfectly natural that the troops sent out to chastise the King of Benin shou'd celebrate their victory bj a gymkhana, the first ever held in Nigrifcia. What is more, neuter cabled the results to England. Thus ws learn i.hat the programme consisted of the Abu Bikri Shakes, catch weights under 12st, three fnrlougs ; the Ndegi Stakes, over 12.it; the Lloyd-Lindsay Competition, in pair? ; the Bida Cup, of 20>>e, three furlongs ; Noncommissioned Officers' Goat R^ce (won by Sergeant Baba Falie) ; Soldiers' Calabash lUce (won by Private Namadu O.laorta). No doubt the Exe'er Hall people and their colonial imitators will see occasion to turn up their eyes at the spectacle of a number of young man indulging in horse racing to celebrate a sanguinary victory, but I have no doubt the victory was also calebrated by the popping of corks and other etceteras. Which allows that England's honour is in the keeping of tb.B right sort of men. Civis.

Physicians often say bo their patients, " You need a tonic,"' knowing only too well that tonic 3 revive the etomach, invigorate the nerves, regulate the liver, and thus build up the constitution. Bonjhngton's Liver Tonic is designed for this purpose. — Advb.