DIFFICULTIES THAT BESET DIPLOMATS.

Otago Witness, Issue 2206, 11 June 1896, Page 49

DIFFICULTIES THAT BESET DIPLOMATS.

* Petty. Annoyances of the Service. The life of an English or American envoy to any of the South American republioi is not a particularly easy or sgreeable one (writes a contributor, who was formerly a member of one of the legations in that part of the woild). There are, even in times of peace, numerous petty annoyances which m?ke it extremely uncomfortable for the head of tbe embassy or legation. Many of the3o annoyances come from the ambassador's own country people, who happen to be residing or sojourning in the land to which he has been sent as a representative. English subjects look upon their ambassador as a eortof father confessor, to whom they may go with their ,most trivial difficulties to receive consolation and counsel. He is expected to be a fountain-head of information concerning suitable, hotels, lodg* ing-houses, instructors in Spanish, cab fares, and places of interest for sightseers.' Persons utterly unknown to him go with letters of introduction, in which some other person, equally unknown, commends the bearers to his kind attention, on account of their " moral worth," " sterling character," &c, and to all such the unhappy diplomat must extend a hearty welcome. Aspiring young English girls who have joined South American theatrical troupes in the hope of making fortunes from dancing, singing, or acting, go to their Minister with heartrending tales ol the duplicity of theatrioal managers. They request him to use his influence to get them society engagements at singing, dancing, or acting, in order that they may earn money to pay their passage home. One of the chief trial* of the ambassadorial patienoe is the very frequent visitor who sends in his name with the subjoined explanation that he io an " unfortunate Eoglishman." Usually, on his recaption, it ia plainly to be geen that. the "unfortunate" man has been brought, to his present state through too much imbibing of chichi and other South American Intoxicants ; but there are cases where the man has become " unfortunate," first, and afterwards taken to drink to drown his troubles and the recollection that be i« a stranger in a foreign land. The object of such visits is to secure the intervention of the ambassador in getting free or reduced passages back to England. Ju«ft ?s the "unfortunate Englishman" haunts the offices of her Majesty's repreientative, so the " unfortunate American " makes his presence felt and regretted at the abode of the American envoy. The " unfortunnte American," in order to emphasise, his nationality, always, wears a bit of Mfb

# white, ana blue .ribbon, tieel to one .ol "hie r ragged buttoriholeß. He has & pitiful story to tell of how he wended his way to South America in search of Peruvian guano, Chilian copper, or BraslKan diamonds. Failing to find them, or having Found them only to lose them, be "begs Iris Minister to furnish him with a " square tnea'l " (which, being a free and equal American citizen, he expects tß'havo served to him at tbe family dinner table) and transportation "batik to "Gad's Country," a term in which stranded AmeUi■cacsin foreign pafls -affectionately refer to their native land. The Minister is expected to use his influence towards .getting a •"berth" for his countryman in an outgoing steamer, the latter asserting Me readiness to act 'as steward, cook, or "waiter in return for passage or food. 1 However, not aiLself-termecl " unfortunate Americans'" are able to verify their claims to American >cifcizens)iip. Not lorg ago a dissolute Englishman, having appHod at his own legation for lie'lp, whiot», for very good reasons, waa refused, conceived the idea of attempting to .pass himself off for an American. Wifh that in view, he mastered tbe American accait, but forgot to post himself sin its geography. "iElrom what part of .the .country do you come, my pnor .fellow J " >asked the Ameri- . roan Minister, feeling 'every inclination to . Jhelp him to secure the coveted > steerage fjasssge .back'to New York. " l?m from How J*rsey, t sjr» .1 spent all nay life there, and have climbed the Rockies .many a time," o&swered tbe would- bo American,; and Ids slight miecoao&ption conctTDiog the situation of the Racky Moon- . tains »prov«sd.hiß . undoing. This same diplomat, At another iime, found himself in a rather embarrassing predicament caused by a misunderstanding betwean ,a young American naval xflioer and .a prominent gentleman of Spanish descent. .The young officer, actiDg on the American .principle which allows any amount t>f pl&tonic friendship between tbe sexes, bad •called .several times npon the gentleman's ibeautiful daughter (always in the presence of tbe. members of her. family) with no other intention than that. of passing a few pleasant hours. On .the day following tbe 'departure of the war vessel from that port, the father of . the. senorita visited the American legation to demand from the Minister the meaning of the officer's departure, sajing that he had expeotcd him ;to marry his daughter. In very bad Spanish the Minister endeavoured to explain that .American men called on ladies very often without having matrimonial Intentions, whereupon the outraged South American 'demanded eatfcfaotion from the .-Minister, who, he aveired, was qnlbb aa dishonourable «s the .officer himself. The.affair >wasnfterwardß .cleared up through the iuter- ; f vantion<of *>ne of the -attach 6?, but fromitbat <thne forward the Minister took .particular /pains to initiate .other unmarried American •Bftval officers .into the customs of the country. . Oneiof the .greatest inconveniences which : -attends, tbe -diplomat in the Simth 'American : republics is ithat (of conforming to what are called the" customs of the country." One of these customs is the giving of what is called " picanti dinners," meals composed entirely of highly- seasoned Wishes, the chief ingredient of which seems to be red papper. ■ These dinners are given to 'Celebrate- «uoh tiappy events as marriages, christenings, tbe - .coining of age of a son or -daughter — infaot, -nearly tall occasions .of rejoicing. There is *a :Btory of a certain British attache 1 who resigned bis post because, as he declared, be found that his .ohief . duty 'consisted in accepting invitations to "picanti 'dinners" given by the high officials of the State. To bave refused *noh invitations, except for very pressing reasons, would h*va been looked open as almost an international insult, and as he did not oonsider bit salary gufficlont compensation for the agony he endured while partaking of the peppery viands, he decided to get beyond tire re&oh of thiß " custom of , the country;" Another gentknren (this time an American), who considered that the disadvantages of his post far outweighed the advantages, it said to have out abort hia diplomatic career "because be found himself -a subject for oenBure and ridicule amoDg tbe inhabitant!, for r tio other reason than that he walked about light-seeing accompanied by his wife. He . was afterwards informed that it was not a custom of the country for gentlemen to be seen in the streets with their wives. After trying for some time to run counter to this , peculiar bit of conventionalism, he returned to the United States. The necessity for carryirg on a sort of general post office in conduction with the legation is one of the bugbears of a diplomatic post. Britishers and Americans entirely unknown to the Minister have their letters addressed to their respective legations, and on mail days the offices are frequently thronged with travellers. At the American legations it is the custom for the Minister to send all of his official and family correspondence in a parcel to the State department at Washington, where the separately addressed envelopes are afterwards despatched to the diff-.rent parts of 'the United States, having the American postage put on Uinn at the department. This saves tbe - Mrai&ter .a, considerable postage bill, and it in not an Tin usual occurrence for certain economically inclined, Americans to request their Minister to in* dude their letteis In this budget, which, request, of course, must always be refused. Another terror at the different legations, both British aud American, is the stamp collector, who very often Eeemß to bo under the impression that one of the cbief duties of his envoy is to 'supply him with curiosities for bis stamp album.