The Absurdities of Love. At Close Quarters with an Ape.

Otago Witness, Issue 2203, 21 May 1896, Page 52

The Absurdities of Love.

At Close Quarters with an Ape.

The lifcble god of love betrayj even dignified people into the most ingeniously incongruous terms of endearment sometimes. And this in defiance of the fact) that the real love words of every language are the most musically baaubiful combinatiors of sounds possible. So sweetly melodious are our own " darling," "dearest," "sweetheart," that one is fain to pity him or her who has never heard them tenderly uttered with a special application. While the French "mon amie," "cheiie," "ran tnignor.nV &c., are spoken music, even the German "meine Geliebste" m>ght glorify the ugliest, moat guttural of languages. " Honey," " dearie," " sweet" are still on the right side of the ridiculous. Bub where the divine passion is really dominaut ail these expressions are quite too commonplace. I know a well-built, well- gr lomed man of the world, with a strong ma»ca'ine face, a splendidly athletic figure, fctauding 6ft 3in iv his 6tockieg}, and stately and dignified in his bearing. Hi=i enraptured wife finds no word so expressive of her appreciation of his charms aa "Kitten." She, by the way, is a Jano, and he, no"; to be outdona in matters of the heart, also calls her " K'tben " So it is Kifcten and Kitten, until I am sure they have forgotten that the English language possesses proper nouns in general usage in polite society. There is a well-known editor of one of this country's great paperß, a man of stalwart frame, keen countenance, brilliaut iutellect. To his wife be is " Itfcy One," and she to him is "Preshy" (precious). One well-known M.P. rarely addressed his tiny youug wife aa anything but "Kid," which is not inappropriate, if somewhat unmusical. But it is usually (he very little man with the enormous wife whose ebullitions of sentimental tenderness can only fiud expression in calling her "Baby."

Mr Bar lett, of tbe London Zoological Gardens, has felt the strength of a great man-like ape. More than 30 years ago there was in the gardens a chimpanzee confiued in a cage which had with safety held a lion, The front bars seemed strong enough to prevent the escape of any living creature. One day, without any warning, jasb aa he had entered the shed, she seized the bars with both hands and feet —a similar action may be seea any day in the monkey-home—and shook and pulled with her whole force till they were wrenched from their faatenings, and she crept out. The situation was perilous. Fortunately, Hunt, the keeper of the giraffes, was also in the shed, and, calling on Mr Bartlett to shut the door lest the chimpanzee should escape, he seized her round the body from behind, so as to confine her arms. Mr Battlett caught her by the bead, with, ODQ

hand on the top of the skull and the other beneath the lower jaw, so that she could not bits. " Perhaps," he says, when he tells the story, " I gave her neck a bit of a crick." They were strong men, and of good pluck ; but both were glad when help arrived and the chimpanzee was safely transferred to a new cage. — Speaker.