PLATONIC FRIENDSHIP.

Otago Witness, Issue 2203, 21 May 1896, Page 43

PLATONIC FRIENDSHIP.

It Ia more than a year ago since this column was filled with aome thoughts on "Friendship," and those thoughts led up to a promise that we Khould on a future day consider the question of platonica and platonio friendship — friendship that is so pure and calm that it ia Independent of, and untoaohed by, Ideas or feelings of sex. Friendship of any kind i», I think we shall all agree, the very wine of life ; the very staff and »tay of weary and wayworn souls ; the snnsbino of cbilled and discouraged hearts. When I begin to speak of friendship I remember all the laet words I did not say last year — just a3 every autumn finds me locging to write of Its pomp and sadnref, longing to paint la words its marvellous pictures. The long-delayed topic of platonic friendship was recalled to my mind by a discussion on the subject in the pa^ea of the Woman at Home for January. Here the late Lady Gilzean Reid, Mr» Lynn Linteu, sad Annie ■Swan all gave their views on the subject. Annie Swan says that " platonic friendship, t involving that close, dear, and constant intercourse which makes all true friendship so sweat and satisfying, is a relationship fraught with danger to th» peace of mind of ■ the men and women who essay it." Then Mrs FenwJck Miller sa.ja f " I believe evsiy inexperienced girl thicks her love to be friendship at firet, till suddenly she finds it ii something more. If the friendship may wie«lyand without blame merge into lore, all

'. boy and girl playmates too often provokes the foolish, remarks of older persona, and in lan incredibly short time the little girl | becomes aware oE the fact that there isI something coquettish in " kissing a boy," and the little boy is ashamed when some little ' girl, still natural and unspoilt, ' offers her sweet little lips for a kiss instead of the dimpled band for a shake. It is thus at the earliest stages of coceciouanesa and association that we purposely awaken ideas of sex and destroy the possibility of conceiving tbe idea pf platonic love, platonic friendship. Bemember that it is the influences and associations of early years which colour all our lives, and you will understand the importance of whafc perheps seems to some of you so trivial. • The same false atmosphere — foolish, prurient, demoralising to the higher and purer emotions — continues to surround boys and girls as they pass from childhood to youth. They make futile attempts at platonic friendships among their companions, but the instincts awakened by the folly of grown-up people in childish days have become acknowledged standards from which they are powerless to escape. Against their will, At a ttma whsn they should be absolutely frank and unembarrassed, these boya and girls are poisoned by a stifling- atmosphere of sex, which teaches thorn that friendship is only between hoy and boy, between girl and girL Ideas, on these subjects are not a matter of education — they are like a code of honour, unconsciously acquired and imbibed from the mental and moral atmosphere about u% Who, then, ia to bl»ms in tb&fc our boya and girls grow np with the unexpressed conviction that »U sentiment between the sexes must necessarily partake of the passion of love ? — love in its various stages and degrees, and expressed by various degrees of

sweeter, truer attitude between the sexct. No meaning smiles, no sly hints, no suggestions of anything, bat suoh an honest, frank regard between boys and girls as would be a true help and beneficent influence to both seres. Think of it for a moment;, my sister women — would you not sooner that your brothers and your ions should cultivate the chivalrous side of their nature, broaden their sympathies, learn unselfishness and thoughtfalness In fratk, open friendship with their girl friends, than that they should piny at a man's feelings and simu'ato affections and emotions of which they are really incapable ? Think again for a moment. Is it not possible that this too early and continued mental attitude of sex, this cultivating immatura emotions, is one of the reasons that young men- of the present day grow up cold, ' omtiona, incapable of any intense affection ? Have i.hay not frittered away their capacity for a great eff<;ction in the small change of qaieklj-flaotfng bojish fancies? Platonic friendship is a big subject. I have written beyond my limit, the floor about me is strewn with closely written sheets, the lamp burcs low, tbe fire glow 3 a dull red mass from which no lambent flames dart up to set quaint shadows dancing on the wall.*, and yet I have not got to the aspects of platonic friendship which touch most nearly the lives of men and women. I tbink we must find another occasion on which to finish a subject which is so closely interwoven with our lfves.