WHERE FUN HAS PROVED FATAL.

Otago Witness, Issue 2202, 14 May 1896, Page 50

WHERE FUN HAS PROVED FATAL.

Happily, tbe age of dangerous practical jokes is virtually past; but nevertheless It is not unfrequent that we hear of silly jokes which bare resulted in a fatality.

Some months ago a workman, after a heavy drinking bout, fell aaleep in the taproom of a publichouse, and one of the barmen, who had an ill-conceived wit, made attempts to gain a little merriment for the patrons of the house by tickling the sleeper's ear with a paper spill, such as are commonly used in publichouses for the purpose of lighting pipes. It was apparently a harmless, if not a very ele vatic g, joke, but it ended fatally. The sleeper, after having been tickled for some moments, suddeely awoke, and moving his bead quickly, the paper spill pierced the drum of bis ear. In an hour and a-half inflammation had set in, and in three days tbe unfortunate fellow was dead, the barman being arrested for manslaughter. This fatal joke is a striking illustration of the dangers of ignorance. S iperficlally, the joke was as harmless as any could be, but a little knowledge and thought of the delicacy of the membranes of tbe ear and its approximation to the brain would probably have deterred the barman from bis fatal fun. Tbree young men were playioj? bagatelle at a workman's club, wben one cffjredto bet another that he could not sing two versos of •• Daley Bell" with a bagatelle ball in his mouth. The bet was accsp^ed, and amid the laughter of a room full of merry-makers tbe young man began. With some difficulty he laboured on until be approached the end of the second veree, when, being short of breath, be took a short sharp gasp/and the bagatelle ball became lodged at the back of his throat, over his windpipe; and before anything could be done to remove it he was choked. A stockbroker who revelled in playing practical jokes took it into his head one day to give a friend of his — who, while knowing little or nothing about speculation, bad invested the whole of his fortune, some £10,000,

in mining shares of a doubtful character — a pleasant little exhibition of his delightful wit. He caused to be gent to bis friend a telegram announcing a fictitious and tremendous fall in the shares in question, and his friend, on receiving tbe telegram, was 6truck with apoplexy, and died even before a doctor could be called in. Without considering the fatal termination to the broker's joke, it is difficult to conoeive wherein its humour lay. A young sailor, with the intention of giving bis aged mother a pleasant surprise on his return to England, unwittingly paused a terrible double tragedy. Landing aij" Liverpool" early one morning, and knowing his mother would be duly expecting him, he conceived the idea- of springing unexpectedly upon her, and with this object in view he sent an unsigned telegram to tbe old woman to announce the loss of his ship with all hands. Wben he reached home he found his miserable joke had killed his mother, and so griefstricken was be that he went straight out of the bouse and committed suioide. Practical jokes are ugly things at beat, and even the most harmless should not be played untit after careful consideration of the results which may accrue.

generous, uncaloalating nature; be always went straight to bis point, not counting the cost, and his prodigality was of the heart as much as the purse. Maxitre Ducamp has likened him to a cornucopia, ever ready to fill an outstretched hand, and saya, " If ever a man was made to be loved, it was Alexandra Dumas." The .readers of the " Guerre dcs Females " will know that be ha* stood himself, and makes them stand, on the banks of the Dotdogne .whilst the fishermen land their nets and the laboureus taunter home from tho fields ; and they can see, as he has seen, the I worthy landlord of the long, low hostelry outside the door, under tbe swinging sign of j the Golden Calf, plucking a""goodly capon with "ample and majestic gestures." His facility in the matter of * dialogue was great ; but he never took up his pen till he bad * arranged the whole thing in hie mmd — the writing was merely mechanical ; yet rspid as he was in execution, once the groundwork was settled it might be months or even years before the work left his hands. His own account of the production of " Mademoiselle de Belle Isle " is too racy to be spoilt by cutting it short. In 1834 a young author Jaurst into his room red-hot from tbe Port Saint Martin, where he had read a vaudeville in two acts which had been refused. Ha was naturally furious, " They may say what they like," he exclaimed, " bnt there is something io it." Dumas ran over the piece. "It has possibilities." "Then let ua talk it over."— "Not so; when I take to a subject it must germinate in my brain till it is ready to coma out ; as soon as the thing is done, read, and accepted I will let you know, and you can go and claim your share of tbe proceeds." "But I shall have done nothing I " — "Oh, yes 1 a great deal — you brought the idea, it is the acorn."

tbe first time in railway hUtory, a train had been booked to run at over a mile a minute. This record was first; made by tbe North British Company, which undertook to ran the East Ooast train from York to Newcastle, 80£ miles, in 80 minutes, including start and stop. But havirg once «een that ib was possible to pass the mile a minute limit, the various companies vied with one another In keeping up that record, and in tbe result we have several rnnß by which the whole distance was accomplished at over a mile a minnte, stops included. Daring tbe week ending on the 23rd August EVEBY. TBIP BETWEEN LONDON AND ABEBDEEN WAS A EAOB, , and on almost every day the record of the day before wan broken. The ten-hour performance of the East Coast line soon came to be forgotten in new feats of speed. At one stroke the three lines struck out three quarters of an hour from their previous record, and the jonrney was accomplished in nine and a-quarter hours with a heavy train weighing over 100 tons. Bnt the West Ooast people, who had long resolved- that at whatever osst, and notwithstanding their 16 miles longer lino, they would eclipse their rivals, returned to the charge, and accomplished the feat of running to Aberdeen at an inclusive speed of 60 miles an hour— s4o miles in 538 minutes, including four stops. THE CONTEST was now keen indeed, but the end was yet to come. On August 21 the East Cjaet train improved on this by 18 minutes. Tbe train left King's Cross at 8 and made 60 miles an hour up all gradient* to GVantham (105 miles), which was reached in 101 minutes. Thence to York (82£) occupied only one hour and 16 minutes, a speed of 65$ miles an hour. The section from York to Newcastle was only run at 60 miles, but ! thence to Eiinburgh the train was earned