OCCASIONAL PAPERS.

Otago Witness, Issue 2202, 14 May 1896, Page 44

OCCASIONAL PAPERS.

Bl CIGAEETTB.

A LEAP TEAR LESSOR. 11. Having given you ample time to dig«i6 and perhaps pat in practice some of tbe hints contained in Paper No. 1, it is now time to point oat some of the pitfalls into Which you are likely to fall in your endeavour to secure a husband. Before all things, do not let jour objsct become apparent, or yon will fall dismally. Mao, whore woman is concerned* is essentially a hunter ; he has no respoot for the woman who throws herself at his head and who he knows can be hod for the aßking, and, although wonderfully blind In seme thingp, there are few men so dense that they cannot see when a girl cares for them. Baeide?, tbe more difficult the pursuit tha more precious ia the quarry. No one cares for what is easily won. So when you «cc that ' a man is beginning to take an especial intereit in yoa, sever throw yourself in bis way. Rather deny yourself the pleasure of his company than go where you are sure to meet him. I don't mean that yoa are to run away frota him, bat do not walk down in town just as he is coming out of his office; rather let him meet you by accident when he knows that it is so, and disappoint him purposely once of twice when he ia looking forward to meet? r.g you. You will find this will make his interest in you far more keen than if you ran about after Mini and met him every day of the week. He will begin to look forward to seeing you, and after a while will wonder why he is no disappointed when you do not appear. It does * man good to miss you now and again. The next time jon meet he will make twice as much of you; 00 don't hesitate to break an appointment if : you are certain tbat he will be there. While he ia kickkg bis heals about/ waiting for you he ia wondering why yon have not come, i and thinks of yoa all through the tim* until you meet ngiin &nd explain that yoa had a headache or something. The less you let a man see you think of him the more he thinks of you. But by this I do not moan that you are to snub him, for no man fcHgivrfs- snubs from a girl; they get plenty of thosr; from their own sex, and come to women for sympathy. There is a happy medium between throwing yourself at a I man's head and snnbbicg him. Lot him see you can appreciate all his virtuea aad yat feel you can exist without him until he lias spoken. Then, of course, yon can, enlighten him upon " the tima when yoa first began to care for him," and all that sort of thing. To be successful in gaining the selections 1 of a man you muit have your 'feelings well 1 under control, and ba careful not to give your love uatil you are quite sure that it is returned. Some girlß when they like a man g : g-gle and blush in hie presence, : and grow to excited wh*n he speaks to thjsm that ttasy scaiccly know what th&y are saying. No wonder uome men are conceited when girls pay such open court to them. There are girl*, though, on the other hand, but these are not so numerous, who are too cold in their manner. These are apt to frighten some of the nicest men away, for shyness is really more common among men than woman, and 9. girl in trying to avoid being gushing makes a mistake if she adopts a repellaut manner. An independent girl is not often a successful hutbttnd-ceoker. Men dislike independence in women if actively displayed ; bo if you are naturally self-reliant do nob bo2vst of it to your male oomp&uienf, for somehow until a man marries he likes to fancy women soft, teachable, dependent creatures whom he can protect and guide with hi« superior wisdom ; and this, being one of the ba*t features of a man's character, should be encouraged to any extent. After marriag* yon I can be self-reliant if you like, for a helping wife is an incubus, and a husband finds st ! virtue in a certain amount of independence in bis wife which a lover would fail to appreciate. Jealousy ia one of the pitfalls which is fatal to the husband-seeker, and one of the hardest to be avoided ; and yet to ba Euccessful you must never betray jaalousy. You can feel its madness workicg in your brain, but whatever yon do, don't ihow it. If you once give way to jealousy the pame is up. You have shown your hand, and your prey is warned of your intentions. So, however angty you may feel when the wan upon whom yon have set your heart wanders for awhile and pays attention to someone else, don't let him see it. If he praises (someone else to you openly, agree with him and never detract from your rival's charms; it is the worst possible polioy. If he talks about another girl to you and yoa encourage him to do so, he will see you are not jealous and will tell yoa all about her. Then you may be sure there is no danger, for a man never discassei the girl be loves with another. A man hates to be called to account, and it is a great mistake to say " Whare have you been all this time 1 " or " You are quite a stranger," or " I was beginning to wonder if you were ever coming to sea us again." Remarks of that kind make him feel uncomfortable, and he says inwardly, " I wish I had not come." It is far better to make your- ■ self so agreeable that he thinks " What a fool I was not to come before I " He will then come again very soon, and perhaps make a habit of it, and find at last tbat he cannot stop away at all or live without your con* paty always.

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