Gare Him a Dinner.

Otago Witness, Issue 2200, 30 April 1896, Page 52

Gare Him a Dinner.

Captain Jack Crawford, the American poeh of the plains, tells a capital tramp story. The poet is a rail, muscular fellow who wears his coal-black hair down over his shoulders, like Buffalo Bill, and presents a striking appearance. He is as mild a man as ever drew breath, with a, heart as tender as a woman's, bat to a *tr*nger he looks as though he might eat a giant raw every day for breakfast. Well, tbe captain was op his way to lunch one day, when a seedy tramp accosted him and asked for money to bay bread.

. "Indeed, mister, I ain't had ft bite for 24 hours," he whined.

" All right-," said the captain ; " I'm going to eat, and you can come along."

The man followed sulkily, and they entered a cheap restaurant, where the captain ordered two big dinners. Being hungry he toon despatched bis own, when he chanced to look over at the mendicant, and was surprised to see the Utter nibbliug his food daintily, not at all like a hungry man

" See hers," said Crawford to his guest, " I brought you in here because you aaid you were starving. Now, if you don't eat every bit of that dinner I'll give yon the worst thrashing a man ever g >t. Now get to work." The frightened man obeyed, and^swallovred his food as if starved, The amused waiter told his muster, who shook his fat sides at he watobed the suspected tramp. When the meat was despatched the captain called for pudding and cheese for two. The fraud g»vo a great gasp and groaned :

" Say, Cunnel, let me off this time, won't you ? I had just had two square meals wbeu I met yon. It was something to driuk I wanted. Please, Gunnel, have pity on a fellow, won't you ?

The " oolonel " told the fellow to " git," and he " gob " with wonderful alacrity. When the captain went to pay his bill, the proprietor, a jolly old Teuton* roared :

" Not a cent. I would give a dinner for a good laugh any day, and I have had one this timel"