Much Explanation Wanted.

Otago Witness, Issue 2151, 16 May 1895, Page 49

Much Explanation Wanted.

There is yet another innocent unsuspecting victim of the phonograph to be added to the already portentous list. A certain gallant colonel, who is principal secretary to a certain high official, made a great hobby of the instrument, and often entertained select parties of his friends with operatic airs, the latest comic songs, marches, flute and cornet solos, and an occasional bit of a speech or lecture by a celebrity. One morning a frisky relative, of the same name os that of the colonel, called on the latter with his sweetheart. The colonel was out, and as there was no one in the room, the young, fellow, who understood the machine, started the phonograph for the lady's amusement. Finding an unused cylinder, lie told his sweetheart to speak into the tube. She did so in aometh'ng like the following words : "I love you, Bertie, dear." " Bertie, dear," thon kissed the girl, and the phonograph faithfully recorded the osculation, " Will you ever be tender and true?" inquired tho maiden fair, and the question was punctuated by another kiss. As lack would have it, the colonel took his wife and & number of friends to his office thf,t evening, and treated them to various selections from his phonograph. At last the guileless officer plecsd the cylinder used by the lovers in the instrument, " just to find out what it might be," and he soon ascertained what it was. Hi? wife and friends also found out at the same time, and it took the colonel many a long hour to explain the matter to his wifo'c satisfaction. Since then he does not entertain his friends with the phonograph.

— Mrs Banks : " Have you any trouble itt getting servants ? " Mrs Rivers : " No, Iv« had five in the last two weeks."