PASSING NOTES.

Otago Witness, Issue 2151, 16 May 1895, Page 27

PASSING NOTES.

For what reason ie is that you cannot take the breeks from off a Hlgblandor no one understands better than' tha Hon. John M'Kenzie. He is, or has been, a Highlander himself. The Hon. John therefore will peroeive without difficulty how poor the prospects of his rent collector at Cheviot and Pomahaka. Ths Cheviot oettler— if we may believe his own account of himself— is the breekless Highlander ; from him the Hon. John proposes to " collect " the breeks. The process, it is reasonable to assume, won't pay ita own expenses. It is a hard case on both sides. Here is the Hon. John, an enlightened democratic statesman, buying out big landholders on the principle of " hang the expense 1 " that he may plant upon the soil the deserving bub impecunious democrat by the county-full, and gather in his grateful vote in due time. On the other hand, we have the impecuaiou3 democrat aforesaid, as soon as he is put in possession, turning round upon his beuofactor to complain that he is charged too mach rent,— that pay it he can't and won't. Rent, forsooth !— declaimed one insurrectionary speaker at the Cheviot meeting— " the wool we get from the sheep won't pay for the sheep, let alone rent." And now the Hon. John, as in duty bound, will proceed to put , these rebel democrats under the harrow. Such are the delights attending a system of artificial settlement, State landlordism, and small tenants. IE it had been a big •'social pest" refusing to pay his rent, how much easier, and how much more agreaabl 3 , the duties of the Hon. John as public executioner 1

Respected Civis,— My last effort in metre wanted gravity and reposs, you said. I submit this week a Doleful Doggrel writ expreis to suit your taste. It dfpic'.s and deplores the Hou John M'Konzie'a difficulties with his Speckl Settlement tenants. I could have made it longer, but have the feeling that you -nill count it-3 shortners a<Writ. The Imp. At Cheviot they up and held a meeting, Did the settlers ; aud resolved without dissent That the time had come to say, and keep repeat* With conviction— that they wouldn't pay tha rent. When word of this deplorable uprising Throughout the laud by telegraph was sent, Uprose State tenants everywhere, devising Reasons why they, too, should not pay then rent. Uprose also, in fury and in frenzy, Tha inventor of the "Special Settlement"— The Honourable and the only John M'Kenzie, To know for why this fuss about the rent. "Hoot toot! What's this? Revolt ? "Repudia* tion? How do these rascals think the due per cent Of interest on my purchase valuation Is to be had, unless they pay the rent? 11 They i»y they can't, of course '—egged oa bf Tories Beat on embarrassing tho Government. _ They can't t All rot I A genuine Liberal cloritt To starve on fern-root, so he pay his rent I

11 That everlasting S -oule I By the throttle Would that I bad him t Or, for argument Might use, as ouce with Fisb, the pickle bottle, And end these machinations rt the rcDt 1 Raved thus the Chief, with many a Gaelic oath. In vain hia bent official breath was ppent. Choviot and Poroahak* vHgbted troth :— They wouldn't— and they didn't-pay the rent.

China, garotted and helpless, is required to pay a thumping <( indemnity "to the garotter. Quite the comet thing, this, no doubt. The footpad first knocks a man down, next empties his pockets. By way of " iudomnity," of oourae. But In this case the pockets • are already empty, it seems ; China, baing 'compelled to pay, will also be compelled to borrow. Everything is natural, intelligible, ! and quite in order, so far; what Ido not so easily understand is the readiness with which, when China wants to borrow her war Indemnity, otber people are prepared to lend it. England, France, Germany, Russia, are all waiting for this Chinese loan as for a loune louche, and propose to divide it amongst themselves, serving it out in gobbets of £50,000,000 at a time, ithat appetite be not gorged. One hardly [sees why New Zealand should be jubilant [because England condescends to accommodate her with a paltry million and a-balf , When all the financiers i» Europe are waitW cap in hand, for broken-backed China to «sk them for £150,000,000. Theie will b« 'adequate security, no doubt. China her*eelf will have to go into pawn. Possibly ;tbis is the secret of the lively interest taken in th* loan by tha Western powers. If China makes default they will take possession, vi et armis, like »ny other mor'gagees, and pay themselves. jTba English creditor couldn't quite do the fcame with New Zealand, I imagine. We !«honld file our schedule in tbe regular way as yespeotable British insolvents, and get our ■discharge with the compliment* and condolences of tne court. But I don't understand these things too clearly, ar>y mote than I do bimetallism.

A correspondent tells me that " a gentleman of this city purchased a few gallons of 'wine that havir g lain in bond for seven years had beoome nice and mellow. Tbe purchaser Was fond of dilating on its merits. E.cently he gay« a dinner party to which a friend of the house took a noted expert in vine culture. LMr Brag*to ?] The visitor tasted the wine, but showed a marked disinclination to extend his acquaintance with it. At length, Jn reply to a direct request from the host for bis opinion, the expert reluctantly proWnnoed that the liquid was not worth 6d a 'gallon— wasn't wine at all in fact, but a conof spirits of wine and burnt sugar." .This comes of sittit g dfown to table with a 'wine expert. A pedant so preternatu rally aootethonldbeiequeßtedto bring bis own •wine. But for the advent o! this gaest who knew too much, oar unsuspecting townsman might have continued to be happy with. his methylated spirit and burnt sugar. Where Ignorance is bliss 'tis folly to be wise. And yet I myself hacker at times after a really sound wine. I am not a connoisseur except :in whiskies, and might very easily be '.betrayed into errore and heresies on the Bubject of wine— might even unknowingly 'corrupt my gastric juices by drinking, at the tioepitable table of a friend, his aqua foriti and burnt sugar. It may be said of wine as it has been said of a wife, and of tbe eating of a sansage — the one essential is perfect confidence. For these reasons I desiderate [the light wines of Central Otago—uneophis■jtioated, cheap, and good. They are to arrive come day, sure enough, bat how long will it be necessary to wait 1

Cleanliness is next to godliness, we know ; -—is it fox that reason that gome school comjaittees show It scant courtesy ? Are they 'afraid that a war against dirt might imperil 'the secularity of the sscnlar system ? A correspondent sends me some extracts from reports made from time to time by the inspectors on the oondition of a schoolhouse in the Clutba Valley : 1892— The f ch-iolroom is dirty, and the rr of •ventilator completely blocked up. The ceiling ii covered with dost and cobweb*, the accumulation of year*. The committee's attention hsa, tf believe, been directed to this by the teacher. 'The out offices [described in a report of 1891 as •' iD a filthy mess"] are only moderately clean. 1893 — The schoolroom floor had not been ewfpt, and the rcof ventilator was choked with gra<6 and straw. , 1894— At the time of my visit the schoolloom floor and the out traces were very dirty. This was in February. At tha end of the fame year the inspector, on making another visit, pronoutced this school " the dirtiest lhat he had ever been in." A perfunctory "cleaning" — so called — take3 place on Saturdays. The dust and the week's accumulation of asheß in the fireplaoe are freely stirred up. 'On Monday the school children cany away most of the dust on their clothes, and the remainder on Tuesday. " Once in every seven •days the children go home like little sweeps." Borne particulars which my informant adds about the personnel of the committee I omit, ;»ot because they are irrelevant — far from that, but from considerations of expediency. It will suffice, I hope, to have put these gentlemen in the pillory, though they stand there cloaked and masked, and may hide tbeir blushes. I can be more explicit should there be occasion.

Here is a nice little nut for my friends tlie dominies to whet their t««th upon. It was addressed to the editor of "Notes and Qaeriep," and by him—such is his modesty — passed on to me : — Sib,— ln Faraio'i (M.A.) " Zealandia School Composition *' we are asked on pages 84 ftcd 85 to correct tbeee sentences :— "It thought it wat she." " I kuow that it ia her." These are examples of rale "The verb to be takes the same case after it as before it." The solution of the second sentence is "I know that it is the," beoausa "it" ii the nominative of the sentence " it is she," and the veib "to be" icquires the Domnmtive "she" after it. On similar grounds, is not the first sentence grammatically correct, and therefore needs no comoticn ? If not, why P An answer will oblige.— Yours faithfully, Not an M.A. In attempting an answer I am aware that I offer my head to be broken, nevertheless must dice mj wierd, a$ at all times in this column I am accustomed to do. Skill In

the quirks and quiddities of English grammar writers I have absolutely none ; I proceed therefore to settle this question by inner light and the principles caned into me along with my prqpria quae maribus. In example 2, tbe "that" biiugs in a subordinate sentence, in which the " it " is nominative; the verb io be takes the same case after it as before it, consequently " her " should be she. " I know that it is she." In example I, the transitive verb "thought" not being attended by that, brings in an accusative and infinitive; the sentence corrected is : " It [or he, or she] thought it to be her." Clear as mud ! remarks tho disgusted non-professional reader. Yea, — jast about tbat. And this Is the kind of thing they inflict upon our innocent offspring in the public schools 1 I recall with comfort the imprecation — "May Heaven confound you for your theory of irregular verbs I "

Tho Notes and Queries editor sometimes drops in for puzzlers of quite another kind — eg., "Ia there any meaning in getting a pair of bootlaces a3 a birthday present 7 Please reply to 'Bootlace.'" The meaning I suppose would be that the recipient should learn to keep his boots tidy, or otherwise go hang himself. Again: "Please would you inform me who is supposed to buy the wedding cake— the bridegroom or the best man?" This ia a oontest of generosity, of course : I think they should toss np, the winner to pay and the loser to take tbe cake— or what* remains of it— away in hl« pocket. The possibility that the bride or her friends might wish to supply tho bride cake does not seem to have occurred to either or any of them. For a real good thing in the Notes and Queries line the following would be hard to beat : — Could you tell me why a gentleman watch stop's whenever I am with him and it never stoped be f ore all the years he ha* had it could you tell me the cause of that ?— Bhidget. Some gay deceiver has been practising on Bridget's simplicity and fluttering her poor, silly heart. One could wish tbat the wedding cake problem belonged to Bridget's affairs, but it doesn't. Civis.