Winning a Name.

Otago Witness, Issue 2088, 1 March 1894, Page 49

Winning a Name.

The recent death of the Count of PuSenrostro, a Spanish nobleman, recalls a singular story of the past. The Emperor Charles V was hunting one day with a guardsman at his side. Charles was a redoubtable hunter, and so was the guardsman. Presently a partridge passed, quite high over their heads. Both sportsmen fired at the same time, and the bird fell. It was brought by the emperor's servants. " Which one of us, do you think," said Charles, "killed this partridge? " "It was 1 ! " said the guardsman. "Thou liest, scoundrel!" exclaimed the emperor. He had hardly spoken when the guardsman struck him bo severe a blow in the face that he fell to the earth. Charles's first movement, after arising, was to point his gun straight at the audacious guardsman and pull the trigger ; but the weapon had just been discharged, and had not been reloaded. While the Emperor was reloading, he decided that he would not shoob the audacious guardsman on the spot. He Bent him to prison instead, with orders to prepare for hid execution. j " Your fault is t;b.e greater," said the Emperor, j " because there was doubt whether thou didst really kill the bird." " There is no doubt, sire, in my mind," said the guardsman. " Will you permit me to see the bird ? " The partridge was brought, and the guardsman showed the Emperor that it had been killed with a ball from his gun. The Emperor had been using bird-shot all day. The Emperor felt a little remorse at this, though he did not countermand his order for the guardsman's death ; but at the last moment he had the culprit brought before him. ' " Dost thou repent ot striking me ? " " No, sire," said the guardsman. " If I had a thousand lives, and your Majesty should tell me a thousand times, without reason, that I lied, a thousand times would I put my fist in your face {niipuno en el rostro), and a thousand times would I go calmly to the block."

The Emperor sat pensively for some time revolving the matter in his mind. The words mi nuno en el rostro rankled a little in his mind ; put presently he said : «' My reign has need of such men as you, after

alj. I wish there were a thousand like you ! Live, and be known hereafter as the Count of Punenroßtro ! " The Count became the most devoted of Charles's vassals, and his family has survived to this day. Liquorice Water. A HECIPB. In order to make liquorice water, to serve as a casual beverage, it is above all thioge necessary that one should be very young. The method is as follows : Take any bottle that is partially filled with medicine prescribed for eomeone else ; empty out the medicine and rinse the bottle once, hastily and perfunctorily. Procure for the sum of Id from the village grocer or chemist a piece of black, hard, stick liquorice. Take it home, and wrap it up securely in the daily paper that your uncle has not yet seen and is certain to want after luncheon. Place the parcel thus formed on the dining room table— or on any polished table where dents show easily — and then smite it patiently for some time with the handle of the poker. When the liquorice is broken in small pieces, place it in the bottle, fill up with water, cork, and shake vehemently. The water will gradually assume the colour of sepia drawing copy. When this tint is secured, add as much brown sugar as you can take without any risk of its being missed. The mixture will then be ready, aad not at all nice to drink, but if you are very young, you can carry it with you when you go for long walks, and sip it occasionally by way of refreshment;. If, owing to the previous career of the bottle, the mixture has a flavour of carbolic or rhubarb, too strong to be conquered or ignored, I sell it to the uncle as a remedy for sore throats ' at a profib of 300 per cent, on the original outlay.— Babby Patn, in the English Illustrated Magazine. Twelve Parodies on Popular Proverbs. 1. All is not beer that's bitter. (All is not gold that glitters.) 2. The pledge in time saves crime. (A stitch in time saves nine.) 3. It's the long cane that cures alow learning. (It's a long lane that has no turning.) 4. She talks most who talks fast. (He laughs best who laughs last.) 5. Who can't be cured should be insured. (What can't be cured must be endured.) 6. There's many a tip 'twixt the meal and the lip. (There's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip.) 7. The nearer the bed the colder the sheet. (The nearer the bone the sweeter the meat.) 8 When the fuel goes on to the fire, the fog flies out of the chimney. ( When poverty enters the door, love flies out of the window.) 9. Marry for taste, man, rather than treasure. (Marry at haste and repent at leisure.) 10. Once kitten, now pie. (Once bitten, twice shy.) 11. It isn't the scowl that makes one funk. (It isn't the cowl that makes the monk.) 12. Half a sofa's better than no bed. (Half a loaf is better than no bread.) Writing His Own Epitaph. In the Melbourne cemetery there is a grave the tombstone of which was inscribed by the deceased. The following is the exact wording of the stone : — lIEUE LIETH THE MORTAL REMAINS OF JOHN STEWART MOONEY, Born (on board the Manchester Belle on her voyage to Australia) 19fch November 1828, Died (in the Melbourne Hospital) I9fch November 1874. Lord have Mercy on me a Sinner. The deceased for many years was well known all over Victoria. He was suddenly taken ill, and it was found necessary to perform an operation on him. He was much against it, and having to remain in one room for a considerable length of time, ordered a tombstone to be brought to him. He then took the greatest pnius to inscribe it, and when he had finished it, said he was ready for the operation. The operation took place on November 19, 1874-, and he died under the influence of chloroform. The late Dr Beaney said that there was no cause for the decease, but that the man had frightened himself to death.