Saved by a Hair.
At the end of a long causeway crossing a swamp I came (says an American writer) upon a squatter's cabin, with a equatter himself seated cross-legged on a log, smoking his pipe. After the usual salutations he said :
" Stranger, I burned my almanac up by mistake two or three weeks ago, and hey got sorter confused about dates. This is Monday, hain't it?" " No, this is Tuesday." " And hain't it the 7ch of August ? " "No, it's the Bth." "StraDger, ar' yo' quite eu3h 'bout this?" he exclaimed as he sprang up. "lam. Here's a pocket almanac, and you can 6ee for yourself — Tuesday the 3th." " It's Tuesday the Sbh, and just about noon. I'm jest a day behind in my figgerin'. Stranger, would you do a critter like me a powerful favour — sunthiu' I kin never forgit if I live to belOOOy'arsold?" " I guess so. What is it ? "
" Lemme take that hoss to ride them seven miles and git thar by 1 o'clook. That's the hour set for me to marry a widder who's got 200 acres of the best land in the State." •• But won't they wait till you get there ? " " Not this time, stranger. This is the third date I've set to marry that widder, and it's got to be a go this time, or I'll want wings to fly out of the kentry. She's a widder with a father, four brothers, two sons, half a dozen uncles, and seven or eight nephews, and every one of 'em is on the shoot. Stranger " "You can have the herse and I'll come on afoot. Aren't you going to wait to dress ? " " Can't wait a minit — seven miles straight up the road — you'll find whisky behind the door — good-bye ! "
At 2 o'clock in the afternoon I reached the house where the festivities were taking place. When opportunity came the bridegroom wrung my hand and said :
•' Stranger, yo' saved me by a ha'r. It was jest two minits to 1 when I rode up, and seven of the widder's relayshuns war jest gwine into ambush alongside the fence, while the widder herself had loaded a double-bar'l shotgun with buckshot, and was lookin' up the road."
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https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/OW18940208.2.189.3
Bibliographic details
Otago Witness, Issue 2085, 8 February 1894, Page 49
Word Count
368Saved by a Hair. Otago Witness, Issue 2085, 8 February 1894, Page 49
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