TAIPO.

Otago Witness, Issue 2013, 22 September 1892, Page 40

TAIPO.

By D. 0. My friend Jones resolved to acquire a dog, not a large, ungainly specimen of the St. Bernard type, nor a diminutive copy of the toy terrier species, but something lively and companionable. After many visits to doggy repositories a selection was ultimately made in the form of an animal that seemed to the untrained eye of a layman as near perfection in form and manners as one could hope to obtain in this imperfect world of ours. In due course the canine was escorted triumphantly home and paraded before the family, who enthused over him to. their heart's content.

In a moment of prophetic icspiration his owner christened him Taipo, and after feed- ! ing him with every collectable indigestible scrap procurable, Taipo was " boxed " in the ■] kitchen for the night ; but Taipo, anxious to vindicate his character foe liveliness, declined to submit tamely to the •' boxlcg " process, and lifting up a piercingly shrill voice, howled copiously. His owner, a man of regular habits, who rigidly subscribes to the adage " Early to bed, and early to rise," | found it necessary to rise at a particularly early hour of a cold frosty morning and expostulate with the new. member of the I family. He was .received, kindly, noc to say submissively, by th& artfnl Taipo, but no sooner did he regain his warm blanket than the perfidious little animal struck the high G, and keptth'ere. Three time 3 did the luckless proprietor sally forth to assuage the woes of the lively howler, and on the last occasion Taipo fared badly, corporal "chastisement; being summarily inflicted, and the source of trouble removed to his master's room. The change -worked like a charm. Silence ( reigned supreme.. But next morning dis-' closed a scene of destruction, for there waa Taipo fast asleep on a heap of his master's clothes, which ho had carefully and labo riously denuded of every button. Murder luiked in his owner's eye as he collected tbe buttonless garments one by one. But where in thunder can those buttons be? A sudden j dart at the slumbering Taipo, a shake, a ' tell-tale iattle~thft mystery's solved. Taipo bad interred 'em ! He was ignoniiniously thrust forth into the cold world, which he greeted with a joyous bark, and immediatsly proceeded to a very floe bed of choice flowers, which in five minutes he reduced to an unknown quantity as to flowerp, but a most decided quantity aB to earth, which he had scattered broadcast on the gravelled path. The domestic feline next engaged his attention, and after a sharp encounter Taipo decided to proceed further afield and give the neighbours a turn, and just next door h9 was launched into a paradise of prize poultry. Ten minutes later, as Jone?, not in the best of humours, was sitting down to breakfast, an irate henwife appeared and demanded satisfaction. " That there dog o' yourn 'ay kilted four o'-4fiy prize L?g'orn9 as I wouldn't a took ten Bhullun a piece for, an he's bit my boy as wjjnt to drive 'irn hoff. I'll have the lor on yer f 'see if I don't."

Jones groaned inwaatlly, and admitting the enormity of Tail's offence, promised restitution. Jone^'parting instruction just before leaving home wa?, "Tie the brute up in a safe place where he can do no further mischief." Six feet of clothes line with a verandah post at one end and Taipo at the other was innocently deemed sufficient to cut short Taipo's wild career of destructiveness, but as our- canine friend had other views on hand he " chews " not to t tay, but go, and in a very brief pejiod be had severed all connection' with verandah post and was a free rover again. After turning round tbrice'rapidly to make sure he was unattached, Taipo sat down to think it out a bit. Thongh apparently jrb thoughtless a piece of caninity as ever inflicted itself upon frail humanity, be was nevertheless of a somewhat reflective turn of mind. "Everything comes to him that waits." "I'll wait round a bit," thought Taipo, " and there may be fun." He had not long to wait, when a blandly smiling Celestial ambled in, tottering under a load of vegetable?. Taipo backed under the verandah, seized his opportunity — and his man. John dropped his baskets with a yell and fled, while the bloodthirsty Taipo played havoo with his turnips and celery.. Out ruehed the family, and Taipo evidently thinking they came for ft morning ran Jed the

way at a cracking pace all round the beds of the well-kept garden, then round the bouse, and the back door being open in darted the source of all evil, upset the baby into a pan of milk, and sallied forth triumphantly with a long string of pork sausages, up over the adjoining brae, through a barbed wire fense, on the other side of which he proceeded in absolute security to assimilate these sausages, and while the family glared at him through the impassable Btrands of the barbed wire fence he finished bis lunch — and theirs too.

Feeling considerably refreshed, Taipo concluded to have another merry-go-round'with the Leg'orns ; but alas I the prudent henwife had secured the residue in an inaccessible yard. But what on earth are those wonderful things swaying gently too and fro in the breeze, ever and anon bending gracefully to the ground? Washing day was a sealed book to Taipo. He never washed, but he jumped, and those things seemed to be just made for him to jump at. He was delighted, and gave all those mysterious garments a turn, and each time he jumped his sharp teeth ltt in daylight, and in five minutes he had '','gone through" the whole wash. His last jump had brought away holas bolus a wonderful production of frills aud lace which he proceeded to wrap round his wicked little body, when a tremendous yell made him sit up to behold an enraged female brandishing a broom evidently with no friendly intention?. Taipo was quick and dicisi vein action. He grasped the situation in an instant. That funny looking female wanted' a run— he would take the lead as usual, so off he went with the tattered remains of the i rilli d lace round his neck and the br omfal htf'y in hot pursuit, over boulders and ditches right into the main road, where at a' sharp turn Taipo and pursuer came face to face with his master returning home. Taipo wascauKtinj?^ra?t#e deliolo and doomed. His master findirg himself übout L 5 poorer at night than he was in the morning came to the commonsense conclusion that Taipo was much too expensive a type of animal to suit his limited income, and generously (?) bestowed him upon a friend with whom he is not now on speakiDg terms.