FUN AND FANCY.

Otago Witness, Issue 1934, 19 March 1891, Page 37

FUN AND FANCY.

— Love all ; trust few ; do wrong to none. — Shakespeare. — Aa They Parted. — " A lass," sighed he. " Ah men," wept she. \ — Saints are not made in a day, but sinners' I can be made in a moment. — The best Christian is the man who never mentions the fact that he is one. — It is a peculiar fact that the black sheep of the family almost invariably leaves home and gets fleeced. — A lady visiting, a hospital gave a soldier who had lost both legs a traot on the sin of dancing. — It is when a lady enters a crowded tram car that the man who has a seat really feelg that he is getting his moneys worth out of a newspaper. — " I have a great love for old hymns" said a pretty girl to a gentleman. '< I am much fonder of young hers," was his reply. THE WAY OB" THB WORLD. Determined beforehand, we gravely pretend To nek the opinion of aome candid friend ; If It tallies with ours he's a wonderful man, Bat a fool, if he doesn't agree with out plan. — " And so Jimpson read his poem to you yesterday. How did you endure it 1 " — " I just fixed my glass eye on him and went to sleep with the other." • — Whenever you commend, add your reasons for doing so ; it is this which distinguishes the approbation of a man of sense from the. flattery of sycophants and the admiration of fools. — Steele. — Everything in Nature indulges in merriment. The lightning plays, the wind whistles, the thunder rolls, the snow flies, the waves leap, and the fields smile. Even the buds shoot, and the rivers run. — It was a very bad railway smash, and as they pulled one of the victims from the wreck they asked him how he felt. " Oh, all right. You see I'm used to this kind of thing. I'm a cyclist." —Why He Did It.— Old Brown (bringing out the strap) : "Do you know why I'm going to whip you, my son?" Little Johnny: " 'Cause I'm Bmall. If I was as big as thai; man next door who. called you a liar lasfc night you wouldn't put a finger on me." — • Puck. — Fleecy (a forgetful man) : "Mr White, I believe ? " Person addressed : " No, sir ; Mr Black." Fleecy : " You must excuse me, Mr Black. Put down my mistake to colour blindness." — One feels complimented if you tell him that he has a heart of oak, but if you carry the simile still further, and tell him he has a wooden head also, he is apt to feel that you are carrying the joke a little too far. — " John," said Mr Steingy's wife, " I wouldn't buy any more cheap trousers if I were you."— "Why not."— "This Jast pair you bought are the identical ones I sold the ragman six weeks ago for fifteen pence." — "Dear Mr Hicks," she wrote, "I am very sorry that what you ask I cannot grant. I cannot become your wife. Yours sincerely, Ethel Barrows." Then she added, '? P.S. — On second thoughts, dear George, I think I will marry you. Do come 'up to-night and see your own true Ethel." — Soliloquy of Mr Pinckney Snow (agentleman of colour) in his cotton patch : "De cotton grows so slow, an' de weeds grow so fast, an' de sun am so hot, an' de red bugs am so plenty, dat I feels as how I had a call f'um de Lawd to go and preach the gospel rite away 1 " And the next morning Mr Pinckney Snow put on a white choker and started off.