EDITOR'S WALLET.

Otago Witness, Issue 1934, 19 March 1891, Page 37

EDITOR'S WALLET.

The Arizona Kicker. A FEESH BATCH OF INTERESTING ITEMS FROM A GREAT PAPER OUT IN THE WILD AND WOOLLY WEST. We extract the following interesting items from the last issue of the Arizona Kicker :— , Getting Monotonous. — Some one in Omaha is selling off land in this neighbourhood for gardens and pasturage, and every day or two a tenderfoot shows tip to take possession. He finds the land to belong to the Government, and to be composed as follows :—: — Caotui ... ... ... 18 Sagebrush ... ... 13 Sand ... ... ... 61 100 In five different 'cases our private graveyard has been included in sales, putting its* to considerable trouble and expense to hold it. We are getting rather tired of this sort of thing, and the next pilgrim who comes along and takesjthat"graveyard for a cattlerange of which he is the sole owner has got to skip at the word, or make the 10th man sleeping under the sands. We Apologise. — The editor, owner, publisher, and proprietor of the thing called " Our Contemporary " was driven frantic with jealousy because we were able to order and pay for three bundles of paper at once. We happened to meet him in Sonny's bardware store Tuesday afternoon, where he was dickering for a grindstone to use as a balance wheel on his "only steam press," and he boiled over and called <u& a liar. We hope he can be patched up, sewed together and saved from the grave, though the latest reports are discouraging. We didn't mean to. If he only will get well he may abuse us the rest of his natural life and wo won't say a word. Announcement. — We hereby announce ourselves as a candidate for mayor at the election in April. It is a little early, but no matt ever secured an office by being a little late. We don't propose to let any sense of false modesty stand in the way of our getting there. We can read and write and cipher. We represent the intelligence and manners of this community. We are the top-sheaf of society and can borrow lOOdol at the bank any day. In brief, we are the best candidate who can be put up for this office, and we are doing the public a favour by consenting to run. We shall have something further to say on this subject later on. We don't want the office, but the office wants us. At least, we think she does. It's Our way. — We understand that Judge Rich feels very bitterly toward us because we said in the Kicker last week that he got only his just deserts in the row with Major Baldwin. It's our way to state facts. The two gentlemen were disputing as to the colour of a jack rabbit's eye. The major was the soul of good nature until the judge pulled his nose. We stood close by and saw it all, and distinctly heard the " spat I " of the bullet as it struck the judge in tbe shoulder. The fact that Major Baldwin subscribes for five copies of the Kicker while Judge Rich won't have it in the house does not bias us in the least. We say that when a man pulls another man's nose in malice he should be prepared for the worst. If the judge was not prepared it was his own fault. He Is bragging that he will serve our nasal organ in the*same way before the year 1891. Judge, don't you try it — not unless you are tired of this vain world and want to go hence 1