THE TOILERS OF THE HOUSEHOLD.

Otago Witness, Issue 1901, 10 July 1890, Page 37

THE TOILERS OF THE HOUSEHOLD.

Deab Alice,— l was sorry I did not see the Witness in time to reply for the forthcoming isime to " Materfamilias' " unkind and unladylike remarks. As " Materfamilian " could have bad no idea who I was she knew nothing of the experience I have had with the easy-going mistress who keeps things in a muddle all day (for no matter how good a girl may be, if the mistreso is not a manager the girl cannot keep things straight), with the fault-finding mistress who irritates the girl, and with the good mistress whose cheerful voice keeps her in a good humour and suggests improvements with a firmness that is neither harsh nor soft. With this last mistress I was treated with kindneas nnrt consideration and felt like an elder daughter, whose duty it is to help keep things in . r]er. For instance, when I was ironing, if I noticed a button off I would immediately sew it on (in this kitchen there was a pocket hanging on the wall containing buttons, reels, needles, and a thimble), thereby Baying my mistresß and others a lot of worry and confußion when the article was to be worn. Very often the buttonless shirt is slipped unnoticed into the drawers, and the wife and mother is blamed for negligence. When I went out I oould always have one of the elder children for com-

Mary you, dear Alice, wrote about. My temper was bad, my manners were worse, and I could have " battered " the man who invented bellß, as that of my mistress was sure to ring when the cooking wanted my closest attention. No matter what pains I took to cook a meal nioely, I never enjoyed a warm or comfortable one. I soon left, and then I got into the service of the easy going mistress. Here I could have worked all night through, and I question if the house would be tidy even then. A dear little lady she was, but so very, very helpless. She had been accustomed in the Old Country to four or five sen ants, but when she came out here with a large family of small children, and having no idea how to work or manage, you may gueHs my situation as general servant was no easy one. She would oome to me in desperation at 11 p.m. to help her darn the stookings or mend a dresa for Maud to put on in the morning, Highly edu- [ cated Bhe wa«, but she deeply regretted now I that her ycung life had all been spent with her education, and in one round of amusements, neglecting the little things that meant so much when she became a wife and mother, such as mending, darning, cooking, and keeping the house clean and tidy.

" Materfamilias" has misunderstood me, I never meant the higher eduoation for doraeßtio servants. If the girls are not despised, why do they not get better treatment ? The visitors who give the girl extra trouble and worry, and who may have been staying a considerable time in the house, often go away without a kind word, or else they think to settle their obligations' with a bit of silver or Borne other trifle. Perhaps they know not, or thiDk not, that the girl would rather receive a friendly hand clasp, though empty, accompanied by kind words coming straight from the heart, Theso would cheer her far more than the bit of silver that cannot buy love or home feeling. If the union that " Mary " speaks of is formed, than the visitor who goes supporless from tho houee of the Home mistress will find out who are "tho roal Mackay." Perhaps then we might be more thought of than the young lady with the few showy accomplishments. Strange we never prize the music Till the sweet-voiced bird baa flown 1 Strange that we should slight the violets Till the lovely flowers are gone 1 Then scatter seeds of kindness for your reaping by and bye.

" Materfamilias " says lam lazy. If I were lazy I would never have been a domeatio ser-

vant. Domestio service at its best could not be a sinecure. We start at 6 a,m, Very often company ara coming to spend the evening. With the extra work the girl ia hurried all day long j in the evening she is kept answor'ng tbo door- bell, and when all the guests have arrived Bhe wearily waits in the kitchen till supper is Borved at a late hour. Ab, many a silent tear I dropped over the parties thab gave so much pleasure to others. As it is the willing horse that carries the burden, so it is the willing girl that could complain of long hours. If a sensible mistress writeß she will not ridiculouoly compare it to good horsemanship, and thon lot U3 hear of two runaways in such a short time There was nothing said, either, about turning them out to grass on Sundays. The young colonial ia too high spirited to stand quietly in harness from 6 a.m. till 10 p.m. We will give up our freedom to a cortain extent, but as it is neither our fault nor our merit that we aro born in the country that boasts of the freedom of its Bubjeote, we are apt to forget our manners while we fool the yoke so tight. Now, I will aek "Materfamilias'' and all reasonable mistresses to honestly weigh thn question, Would they have their precious darling to have no other time for her recreation than a couple of hours after dark, and to be sent out then unprotected ? While a mistress does this sho oannot say she is careful to keep her servants from bad oompany, for she known not what bad company may be waiting to decoy them away, especially if it is a regular night out. While mistresses have this bad rule "nailed up in the kitchen" they aro largely to blame for their ruin of many a respectable girl. I am glad to learn the mantle of civilisation is falling upon us, and there are civilised mistresses who are agreeing with me that it is good girls who are dreaming of halfholidays instead of,as " N.G." said, the doubtful advantage of a run out after dark, for young girl especially. Servant girls have more need of a breath of fresh air than a mistress haa, I know what it is to suffer from headaches caused by the close and heated air ariaiug from a cooking range in a little pokey kitchen, "Mary "said "mistresses have abused the right." Yes, and I say maßters have abused the right to make us do work at any hour. Some of them come home in a muddled state and find fault with the long standing meal. This would not bo done if the servants had working hours • but if they had a reasonable excuse for being late we are not such inhuman creatures as to refuse to get them a meal. Lizzie,' lam sorry for you. If you associated with sensible people you would not ask such a Billy question as " Why did Mary not mend the chair?" Amongst the many things a general servant has to do I never before beard of her being asked to turn cabinetmaker. Then again you ask, " Why did Mary stay in the situation she thought a disgrace ? " Mary never said she stayed ; she simply stated there wore such places, and those who take a broader view of the question will remember that the bad places are more frequently vacant than the good ones. Further, girls go many miles away from home to take up a situation, and tboy have only to take their chance as to what the situation will turn out. I think it would be only fair if .referenoeß were exchanged. Again, if girls are strangers to the place it is considered beneath the dignity of a mistress to introduce them to suitable companions. The solitude of a crowd is the most painful of all. I, knowing what it is to be a strangor alone in the world, appeal to mistresses to treat their girls no more like working machines, isolated and left in a oorner when their work is done. "Betßy" asks, "How long, O Lord 1 " Girls stand this treatment till they have saved enough money to keep them while they learn a trade. This is where the experienced girls go, They don't all get married these hard times, Why is this disposition to sneer at servants and servants' work bo common, when their work.done welLcontributea more largely to the oomf ort and happiness of the household than that of any other worker ? A good and thoughtful girl has cares, and will lighten her mistress' burden very much. Therefore girls should be encouraged to remain in domestic service, and not by treating them like lower animals or working maohines drive them out of the field. If we get a reply from a good mistress she will deal with our remarks, | and not foolishly oall us this, that, or the other thing when Bhe does not know who or what we are. We are only asking for justice, and it would be to the mistresses' benefit to deal justly with v?, as this harsh treatment, so common, iB driving out all the reliable girls. The polite and self-supporting shop girls may feel very glad they are not domestic servants to live under the roof of such an unkindly spoken mistress as " Mater familiaß." Biddy. June 30.

Dkab Alice,— l wish to say a word in reply to the letter on how one mistress manages. In the first place, I think " Materfamilias " haa managed badly by having 10 servants in five years. Being a Home mistress Bhe knows that servants stay twice 10 yearß in one situation. As regards her ezperienoe of hotel servants, I can only Bay that I have found them as good as other girls. The reaßon why so many girls go to hotels is that they get higher wages and are allowed more liberty, and there are no set rules hanging up in the kitchen for them to go by. They do their work well, and are respected by all. Of course there are exceptions, but this is so in all cases. As a rule they are respectable girlo, and I think myself they aro better off there than the,y would be in n good many private families. I am surprised that " Materfamiliaa'" place iB sought after— one would hardly think so, judging by the many changes that have taken place in so short a time. Dear Alice, I would suggest that she should open a training school for the poor colonial mistress. There are as good colonial servants as ever there were in the Home Country, and they aro a credit to the oolony. A Home Mother,

Dear Alice, — In your columns you invite further remarks on domestic service. I have been a servant for 10 yearß past, and in my experience I cannot but cay that I have received very fair treatment, Certainly during that period I have been in a few places where I waa not altogether humanely dealt with. In one instance when engaged I went down that evening and started work the next morning. After having cleared away the breakfast things my mistress told me that I should Btarfc washing. By the time I was able to start is was half-past 8. I was washing from then till 4 .'o'clock in the afternoon, when my mietrrps again put in an appearance. I told ter that I thought it was high time I had somathicpt to eat, when she answered that I might go and got something if I liked. I finiahed my washing by 6 p.uu, so you will understand tbafc it waa not a light day's work. Than my umtvecs, while questioning me, asked me to what church I belonged, and having answered, she informed me that Iwouldnotsuit her, and told me I could go. So I packed ap and went that night. In " Materfamilias' " letter Bhe tells us of a servant she had who was very devoted to the men. She further tells us for certain that she was never engaged. Whether did the young men or the servant girl let her so far into their confidence ? Then she denies that domestio eery despised, I can Bay

pany and protection, and by their willingness to accompany me they showed their affeotion for me. When I left I had letters from all the children, from the dot of four years who took a pencil and marked the paper all over with funny sort of strokes, up to the eldest girl of 14 years ; and these, with the card sent at Ohriatmas by their mother with the words " In kindly remembrance," all told of tho respeot and interest they took in me, When I went baok to see them no aristocratic lady could have been more warmly welcomed than I was, " I want to Bleep with you," was the ory of the < three little girls, and rather than bear the pain "of seeing any one of them die-, appointed I put up with the disoomfort and took them all with me. When I went to this situation I was quite a stranger, and had nowhere to go. I never went out alone after dark, Sometimes my mistress would tell me to go out in the afternoon and have tea at her mother's, and gave me my choice aa to whether I would take any of the ohildren with me or not. They all helped on Saturday to prepare Sunday's dinner, thereby giving me rest and freedom to enjoy a Sunday afternoon's quite reading, or go for a walk. When my' master and mistress went out to an evening s entertainment, abd I sat up to watoh that baby did not waken, and have a bit of supper ready for them when they returned, I did it cheerfully, .knowing that they in their turn gave me muoh the same treatment. Sometimes it was my master, sometimes my mistress, who, with some of the elder children, requested me to go with them to some evening amusement, or perhaps | I went alone with the children— l being their guardian and they mine. This mistress would go away for her holidays, stayiug three and four weeks at a time, loaving me in full charge, as I could darn the children's stockings, as well as cook their meals and keep the house clean and tidy. From her I got a reference stating that I was an intelligent, thoughtful, and painstaking girl, active, willing, obliging, and Btrictly honest. But when I was in the situation of the fault-find-ing mistress I was every bit aB bad as the

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that by aome at any rate this ia certainly the case. It seema to me that anything her ladyship wants to bring forward with double force she backs up with her Home style. In another part of her letter she Bays that aa the colony gets older sen ants' wages will fall. Does she not think that our wages are low enough already ? I say, why not atart a servants' union? It has been a Buooess with the male sex and the factory girls ; why not with us ? And again, I think it ia the leaßt any mistress can do ia to give her servant a holiday now and then when she thinks she wculd most enjoy it.— Yours truly, EMjEN.

Deab Alice,— Will you kindly allow one of the sterner sex a little spaoe in the Ladies' column to take exception to some of the charges made by "Materfamilias" against out colonial girla in her letter on "The Toilers of the Household." With her way of managing and treating her servants, one can easily see that they would be contented, for a little kindness goes a long way ; but this part of " Mater'a " letter Beems merely the sugar coating to the bitter pill that followa. " Materfamilias " accuses our girls of being rude and unmannerly, but I assert that the daughters of working men and farmers in this colony will compare more than favourably with the same class at Home. One has only to picture to himself the women and girls in the factories, or the domestic servants in the streets and paiks at Home, and then stand and watoh the girls in Dunedin under the same conditions, and he will see at once the absurdity of the charge " Mater " has made against our girls. One half of my life having been spent in England and Scotland, it cannot be said that I ctt prejudiced— more so, that I have neither kith nor kin in the oolonies. "Mater " says that education, in the higher branches, only spoils girls for domestic service ; but does "Mater" wish to sea them servants to the end of the chapter ? I think the men will want a voice in that arrangement, for the working men of this country appreciate the advantage of having cultivated women aa oompanions almost as much as their more fortunate brothers who follow the learned professions. I can assure " Mater " that there are hundreds of girls in town and country who despise, not domestic service, but the incompetent, vulgar, and harsh mistresses they are bo likely to meet with, and from amongat those girls (well educated though they be) it would be an easy matter to find plenty to matoh those " perfect treasures " that " Mater " speaks of having had at Home. " Mater " might not think so, but we know that " distance lends enchantment to the view." " Mater " says she does not know what " Mary " and " Biddy " mean by comfortless kitchens, and thon proceeds to call them untaught, grumbling, discontented, incompetent servants, because they venture to complain. How true the line —

They jest at soars who never felt a wound.

Does "Mater" not believe in the existence of injustice simply because she has never seen it? I did not think there was an educated woman in Otago, much less one entitled to sign herself " Materfamilias," who held such narrow views. But " Mater " does not practise the doctrine of Christian charity. I refer now to her remarks re Mrß Blank, Mary, and her mistress, " Mater" says they must 11 all be of the one class— shop girls and barmaids." I will give " Mater" the advice I received from one of our girls a few days ago— " Never give your opinion of any person without good, proof of what you say, for worda once spoken are not your own, and may wound those whom you have no desire to wound." Surely " Mater " will admit that shop girls are entitled to as muoh respect as any other class of women ; and how can Mary or any other girl tell whether the man whose service she is abcut to enter is a gentleman or not ? It cannot be by the rank be holds, judging by those sprigs of nobility whose names bo often figure in the oriminal records at Home ; and yet these blue-blooded gentry look down upon those who can only afford to keep two or three Bervanta with even great contempt than " Mater " looks upon barmaids and shop girls. Bat suoh is life. " Mater," in speaking of the good time coming (for mistresses), says, " The bad servants will go to the wall." Not bo, "Mater." That, we know, ia the way at Home, as we find by the "Song of the Shirt" and the "Bridge of Sighs," but in th's Brighter Britain of ours the weak, mentally or physically, will pot be let go to the wall, for " the mantle of civilisation has indeed fallen on us," but it happened a long time before the Exhibition. I think, Alice, that you must have been a little amused at the idea of the " colonial wife who can only talk of kerosene washing," for I remember you used to take a good deal of interest in the kerosene trials, but I suppose that when soap was first introduced there were many good housekeepers who looked upon it as a dangerous innovation. I hope the day is very far distant, when those " gentle and meek " creatures u in white muslin caps" make their appearance to take the place of our independent, self-reliant girls. With all good wishes for your welfare, Alioe, I will close; and that I may long have the pleasure of reading your true-hearted advice to our girls is the hope of yours, Dabot.

Strath-Taleri, June 23,