SOCIAL TOPICS.

Otago Witness, Issue 1899, 26 June 1890, Page 38

SOCIAL TOPICS.

BT CIGABBTTB. HENPECKED HUSBANDS. There is no more pitiable object than aj henpecked husband. Let us hope their number is few, for that they do exist is as great a slur on womankind as on the opposite sex. In fact it is hard to say which is the mostjto blame — the man who permits such a deplorable state of things, or the woman who is the cause of it. It does not need very close observation to discover when a man is henpecked. There is a submissive air about him, he seldom smokes or plays billiards, and he never drinks anything except in his own house. He dare not bring a friend home to dinner without several days' notice being given to his better (?) half; he always hurries home from the office as soon as the day's work is done, and if he meets any friends of the " female rjersuasion " he passes them with a bow only. He never dances twice with the same girl at a ball, or takes anyones wife but his own in 5 to supper. He goes to church regularly, and is never seen at the theatre without his wife. He always wipes his feet carefully on the mat before coming in ; he hands over his letters for his wife's inspection, and at the end of the month his salary also.

But all this is not accomplished at once. Like the hatching of eggs, it takes time. Very likely the hen-pecked man before marriage held strong views on the supremacy of his sex, the desirability of being master in his own house, &c. ; but, alas, like the clergy, he finds it easier to preach than practice. He passes the Rubicon of marriage, and henceforth his motto becomes " Anything for peace." It is all done by degrees. If he happened to be a few minutes late in coming home, for the first month or two he was greeted with, " Oh, darling, I was so lonely without you." A little later on it was, " George, you seem to have no idea of time ; the dinner is quite spoilt." At the end of a year, if he happened to be late, it was, "Cruel man," and floods of tears. After that George dare not be late again. Constant dropping wears away a stone, and so it is with a wagging woman. Her tongue becomes such a fearful weapon that all resistance is in vain, and the natural courage of a man is worn to a shred. He gives in, and acts on the principle of " Anything for a quiet life." If he be good natured and easy-going, it is sure to aid in this manner. Where the woman is fighting for supremacy, the man succumbs to tears, and often philosophises to this effect : Woman is the " better man " When her tongue in matched with mine ; Tis na lightning into thunder, Or as whlaky into wine. Most of us can call to mind specimens of henpecked husbands, and taking these unfortunate men into consideration one naturally doubts the truth of the saying that " marriages are made in Heaven." But Shakespeare says : Thero i» lomesoul of gooduesß in things evil,

Would men observing!? distil it out,

And no doubt the grey mare ha ; her good points. For instance, the henpecked man seldom finds a button off his shirt oi a hole in his socks. If his wife uaes her tongue freely she does not let her lingers lie idle. She is sure to be constantly tnrning the house out of windows in spring, summer, or autumnal clearings. In fact, she is so intensely diligent in household matters that she acts as an active reproach to the unfortunate individual who, after a hard day's work, sits down to enjoy his paper. He is made to feel in an insidious manner that he might be better employed, and while his wife stitches away diligently opposite him, he has the uncomfortable feeling that she is thinking all the time what a lazy fellow he is. If there are any children he is obliged to take his share of the nursing. His mind, perhaps, occupied with the addition of figures all day, is occupied with the addition of hot water to condensed milk all night, and the rhetorical powers which soften the hearts of a jury fail to stifle a single protest from his infant.

But the gall and wormwood of the whole business is that his wife, not content with all she has accomplished, boast s> of her conquest, to her friends. In that favourite pastime of newly married women, " comparing husbands," she tolls of his subjection, thereby unconsciously holding both herself and him up to ridicule. His malo friends begin to pity him and call him a " poor beggar," and thus gradually he sinks into the deplorable state of a henpecked hu&band. Now, if any

such should read this page, let him take warning. If the process has just begun, now is the time to take a stand. One must be master, and it is contrary to all law for a woman to take command, and though sentimental folks will say there should be no question of mastership about marriage, yet it is a well-known fact that a woman loves and respects a man far more if he be her master than if she can, to use a familiar expression, "twist him round her little finger." Besides, the very fact of swearing obedience shows there must be a master to obey. If any question the authority of the " Prayer Book " perhaps they will believe Shakespeare, who says : I am ashamed that women are bo simple To offer war where they should kneel for peace, Or seek for rule, supremacy, and sway, Where they are bound to eerve, love, and obey.