M'Guzzle's Magnetic Influence.

Otago Witness, Issue 1942, 7 February 1889, Page 37

M'Guzzle's Magnetic Influence.

Several citizens of Austin were

prominent standing in front of the courthouse, and among them was a leading attorney, whom we shall call Major M'Guzzle. He is recognised as a leading citiaen from his penchant to lead other citizens into saloons. He also allows himself to be led into saloons by other leading citizens. He had been doing • something of the kind that day, for he was somewhat under the influence of ardent beverages. The group were discussing magnetism. Major M'Guzzle made the superfluous remark that he was a spiritualist. Moreover, he not only believed in animal- magnetism, but he was a magnetiser of considerable power himself. The other members of the group were prepared to concede his spiritualistic tendency, but they said they preferred to wait until all the returns from the outside precincts were in before they decided as to his magnetic power*. " Gen'lemen," said M'Guzzle, " I can conshentrate my magnetic will powers on a man 100 yards off, and bring him right up to me like he wash a dorg." " How do you do it?" asked Tom Breckenridge. " Wiz my eagle eye and my magnetic influensh. Make a man come right up to me and do whatever I want him to do." Senator Terrell, who was cne of the'group, spoke up and said : * "I wish I had some of that magnetic power. I'd be in Congress now if ,1 had it," and he sighed heavily. "I kin do it, gentlemen. It'sh easy as fallin' offen log," said M'Guzzle. " Well, suppose you give us a specimen o£ your powers. There is a man on the opposite side of Congress avenue. See if you can make him come across," said Tom Breckenridge. Major M'Guzzle steadied himself against the wall and focused the victim with his eagle eye. The victim loooked down the avenue at the bridge, then up the avenue at the copper roof of the new capitol. The intensity of Major M'Guzzle's magnetic glare became absolutely fearful. The victim looked across the avenue, and then deliberately began to cross over. . "Well, if he ain't coming over to us I hope I may die," said Tom Breckenridge. 11 That beats me," said Alexander Terrell. " M'Guzzle, next time I run for Congress we will stump the district together." The victim contined to crosp the avenue and was steering straight for the group. "What did I tell yer, gentlemen? I'll bring him right up to me. It's all fa my magnetic eye. He can't help himself," said M'Guzzle, as he continued to focus the victim with his aforesaid eagle ,eye. The victim reached the sidewalk, and, being still under the magnetic' spell of M'Guzzle, walked right up to that eloquent attorney, and, drawing a paper from his, the victim's, pocket said: " Major M'Guzzle, I've got a bill of 59d0l against you. The proprietor of. the Gently Dreaming Saloon told me to tell you that if you jdidn't settle for the whisky you drank last month he will sue you, and moreover, you need not, under any circumstances, expect to get any more credit at his saloon." A roar of laughter caused a street car mule to run away, and the savans who were discussing magnetism led the paralysed attorney into the nearest saloon, where he was partially restored by stimulants applied internally.