FUN AND FANCY. Answers to Correspondents.

Otago Witness, Issue 1929, 9 November 1888, Page 38

FUN AND FANCY.

Answers to Correspondents.

Solution op Problem 679. By D. C. Calvhrt, of New London, Conn. Black men on 2, 4, 6, 12. 21, X 31 j Whito men on U, 13, 15, 18, 19, 30. White to play aud draw. 11 7(a) 4 11 15 8 21 25 26 23 12 16 14 17 211 10 15 6 10 8 3 30 25 7 14 22 15 i 15 8 31 21 30 26 25 30 3 7 25 22 23 18 Drawn. (a) Baker and Eeed's " Alma," Variation 421, at I 6th move, plays 11 8, allowing Black to win. R S, Wendonsido.— Your solution of Problem 679 is correct, though worked differently. Thank you for problem sent ; will appear in due course.

— Pigeons lose their mind more than other birds. They are so flighty.

There are times when a man feels that a satisfactory sneeze would do him more good than a big legacy. —The most recent case of absence of mind is that of an editor who lately copied from a hostile journal one of his own articles, and headed it, " Wretched Attempt at Wit." — " Ain't that a lovely critter, John," said Eliza, as they stopped opposite thu leopard's cage at the Zoo. " Well, yes," said John ; " but he's dreadfully freckled, ain't he ? " — Rejected With the Editor's Regrets.— A Massachusetts reader promised to send us a dog. Unless he forwards a sausage machine at the same time we shall look upon the animal as unavailable matter.— Richmond Bee.

— They Had Been Married a Month.— She : " Who's is oo ? " He : " Oor's." She : " For ever, and ever, and ever ? " lie : " Ess, I is." She : " Have oo dot live dollars for oo baby, dear ? " He : " Thunder 1 no Melinda. Think I'm made of money, don't you?"— Time.

—A Precaution.— Counsel for the Defence (to his wife) : "My dear, I want you to lock up everything that is movable in our house." Wife: "Why so?" Counsel: "The thief who was acquitted this morning without a stain on his character, owing to my brilliant defence, is coming this afternoon to thank me."

—He was rescuing her from the billowy waves, but it looked as if they might never see Boston again. "Hold on tight, Penelope," he gasped, "hold on tight."— " Don't say hold on tight," gurgled "the girl, with her mouth full of Atlantic Ocean, " say hold on tightly." —What Would Stop Them.— A particularly vigorous speaker at a woman's rights meeting, waving her long arms like the sails oE a windmill, asked: "If the women of this country were to rise up in thousands and march to the polls, I should like to know what there is on this earth that could stop- them ! " And in the momentary silence which followed this peroration a still, small voice remarked, " A mouse ! "

— Alfonse de Beriot : " You say you are superstitious, Miss Gushington, but would you dare to be married on Friday ? " Miss Gushington: "What! Next Friday? Why, dear Alphonse, you are so sudden and so unconventional."—" You quite misunderstand me. I protest— l didn't propose—"—" That's all right, Alphonse, you didn't propose as they usually do, but I like it just the same. Yes, dear, it shall be Friday." Alfonse swoons. —At a dinner of the Duke of St. Albans some one was predicting that negro emancipation would be followed by a general massacre of the white population. At this moment a sudden gust of wind filled the room with soot. "Your worst fears are verified," said Horace Smith, turning to the speaker, "behold an insurrection of the blacks 1 "

—Soft Soap for All Sorts of People.— For a lieutenant, call him captain. For a middleaged tedy, say that you mistook her for her daughter. For a young gentleman rising 15, ask his opinion respecting the comparative merits of Mechi and Mappin as razor sellers. For young ladies, if you know their colou- to be natural, accuse them of painting. —She: "Only give up smoking for cne year, and I have no doubt that you will never touch tobacco again." He : " Well, I don't know. I did not smoke once for 18 years, and then I began, and enjoyed it immensely." She : " For 18 years ? You must have been very young when you began I " He : " I was .18 years." —Some children are bright enough to discover the cross-cuts to knowledge at a very early age. "What is a diamond?" asked a teacher " Carbon," replied the class. "Ye 3, a diamond is pure carbon ; but you must remember that coal is also carbon. That, was taught ii: th.i last lesson."— " Yes'm."— "Now, how could you be sure to tell the difference between the two kinds of carbon ? "— " Ask the price ! " piped up a small boy. —Marriage in Arizona.—" Do you take this woman whose hand you're a-t>queezin' to be your lawful wife, in flush times an' skinp ? " — " I reckon that's about the size of it, squire."— "Do you take this man you've j'ined fists_with to be your pard through thick an' thiij 1"—"1 "— " Wulf, .you're about light, for once, old man."—" All right, then. Kiss in court, an' 1 reckon you're married about as litrhi as the law can j'ine you. I guess four bits '11 do, Bill, if I don't have to kiss the bride. If I do, it's six bits extra."