The Wrong Kind of Dominoes

Otago Witness, Issue 1911, 6 July 1888, Page 38

The Wrong Kind of Dominoes

When one begins to "go into society,"' he ought to have a thorough coaching upon the things that are done in society. If he does not, he is likely to make as odd a mistake as a suburban gentleman did, whose case has come, by accident, to the listener's knowledge. This gentleman settled himself into the seat with a friend the other day, on the train coming into town, and remarked — "Do you know how to play dominoes?" « Well, a little." " Wish you'd give me some idea how it's played. You see,- my wife and I have been invited to a domino party next week, and we don't know any more about that gamtfthan a cat knows about astronomy." " A domino party, eh ? Why, don't you know that isn't the sort of dominoes that is meant?" "No! What is it then?" " Why, a domino party is a sort of masked ball, and the dominoes are the masks that the people wear." ■" Sho I You don't tell me 1 " — Transcript.

A Cowabdly Insinuation. — "Does your cow cringe and curl," asks the New England Farmer, " and appear nervous and fidgety when you sit down to milk her ? " Well, not much, she doesn't. She isn't that kind of a cow. She isn't one of your shy, timid, bashful cows. She just fixes her eyes on vacancy with a glare that will raise a blister on an pak knot, sticks her tail straight up in the air, stiff as a poker, plants three feet firmly on the ground, and then feels around with the other for the milk-pail, milk-stool, milk-maid ; finds them ; fixes them up somewhere in the blue empyrean, and remarking, " Ha, ha ! " amid the shouting, jumps over a six-rail fence, and tramples down an acre of young garden. Don't talk about cringing and curling to a cow that has to be milked with a pipe line and a pumping statioa. — Burlington Hawkeye.

, Very Polite.— Two ladies met in the street. They intended to pass, as they were were strangers to each other, but they didn't, for the reascfri that they both stepped to the same side of the pavement. " Excuse me," said one. " Beg pardon," said the other. Then they both turned to the other side and again collided. " Very awkward," muttered one, growing red.

" Don't mention it," responded the other, politely. Then they chasse to the right, and set to partners several times over — and they would have been there »yet if a woman hadn't broken the spell by mowing them down with a perambulator and giving them a turn in another direction.

Smith's Revenge.— Sardanapalus Ferguson, after a long bachelordom, at last married a rich old maid. * >

He did not invite auy of his boon companions to the wedding feast, and some of them felt very much hurt about it. One of them named Theophilus Smith determined to get even with Sardanapalus. Meeting the bridal conple in the streefc, he greeted the pair very politely and passed on. • Next day, meeting Sardanapalus, he took him warmly by the hand and said —

"Glad to see you, Sardy. I met you yesterday taking your mother-in-law out for an airing, but I didn't stop to speak, for I didn't know how the old lady might like it. '

A Misundebstandikg. — "Mr 5.," exclaimed an indignant husband, •• you are" no gentleman 1 " "What makes you think that ? " " My wife called at jour house yesterday, didn't she ? "

" Yes — and was very welcome."

!' And as she drove away she heard you say to your wife that she had a mouth like a horSe-collar. 1 '

" Great Giesar ! Why, man, all I said was that she had a horse of a mouse colour."

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