WITH WHICH IS INCORPORATED THE SOUTHERN MERCURY. FRIDAY, MAY 18, 1888. PASSING- NOTES.

Otago Witness, Issue 1904, 18 May 1888, Page 21

WITH WHICH IS INCORPORATED THE SOUTHERN MERCURY. FRIDAY, MAY 18, 1888. PASSING- NOTES.

It may be a duty to resist the invasion of Australasia by Chinese, though they come merely to cultivate the harmless necessary cabbage, and sweep up the cruiubs beneath the lordly British miner's table, but it is not the kind of duty that makes a man feel proud. It is a duty that somehow goes against the grain of one's liberalism, one's humanity, one's instinct for fair play. Those Celestials who were passengers by the Te Anau, what must they have thought of us ? Their experiences were much the same as those of Cook and other explorers in these same. seas a century ago. Written down journal- wise for the information of friends in China they would read something like this : — Anchored at Melbourne. Were strongly advised not to attempt a landing, the people being numerous and very hostile. Remained close on board for several days, and then left in another vessel for New Zealand, a group, of islands five days to the eastward, the inhabitants of which are said to be less dangerous. Arrived at the Bluff. At this 1 ' barren and inhospitable spot, where 1 there are few houses or signs of cultivation, an astonishingly large number of barbarians collected as soon as our ship appeared in sight. As we drew near to the shore a great crowd of them assembled on their wharf uttering loud ories, brandishing sticks, and throwing stones, some of which fell on board. The information given us at Melbourne, evidently incorrect; probably it was intended to mislead us. Left the Bluff the same evening and proceeded North, hoping that as the climate grows milder we may find the coast tribes less savage. I confess thafit wounds my self-respect to think that a people who, as the school-books inform us, have enjoyed the blessiugs of gunpowder, the printing press, and the Golden Rule centuries longer than we have, ehould be able to paint us in colours such as these. And yet the duty of inhospitalily must be persevered in, even though it makes us feel mean. We may put the matter thus : Australasia is a vast territory for the most part

unoccupied ; immediately adjoining is China, with a population of 400,000 > 000— a third of the human race. Suppose this vast . sea of -yellow-skinned pigtailed humanity — contact with which excites in us an uncontrollable physical shrinking — were by any chance to overflow into the vacant spaces near. Suppose 10 per cent, of the Chinese — 40,000,000, a number that would never be missed in their own country — were to descend like a deluge upon the straggling settlements of Australasia. Why, we should be swamped, drowned, submerged, swept out to sea. And if they come in thousands, as they do, why may they not come in millions? The source of supply is not likely to run dry. In truth our geographical position is • such that we are like people living under the dam of a reservoir. The meresi trickle through the bank excites our suspicion : when the trickle grows into a rill we become seriously alarmed and bethink ' us, with reason, of the rule dbsta principiis — resist beginnings. And here I have much satisfaction in presenting to the Government, who are pretty nearly at their wits' end in the matter, an infallible specific for arresting the Mongol invasion at once, entirely, and. for ever. Cut off, immediately on his arrival, each Chinaman's pigtail. Head every naturalisation paper, not with the royal arms, but with the picture of an official brandishing in one hand a pair of shears, in the other an amputated pigtail;, proclaim in all the treaty ports that law, religion, and morality forbid us to suffer in any male human creature the wearing of hair more than three inches long. Whether it is that he thinks his immortal soul to reside therein, or believes that Confucius will need to catch hold of it to hoist him into the Mongol Paradise, a Chinaman prizes his pigtail more than his head. By adopting my suggestion we should turn the flank of all the difficulties arising out of British treaties with the Chinese Government. Treaty rights don't extend to pigtails. Once more the Czar has been shot at and missed. The Nihilists are no doubt continually saying to themselves (if they, know the " Mikado "J— We've got him on the list, He never will be missed— — and yet they miss him every time. He has now been as often under fire, I suppose, as the oldest veteran in his armies. What' is marvellous ,is not that there should be people in Eussia who want to kill' their Czar (why, I will explain presently), but that all who attempt it fail. A Russian patriot who purposes regicide has necessarily made up his mind to fling away his own life. Having found courage to do that, the rest should be easy. Yet it isn't. A man may have the nerve to level a pistol at the Czar of all the Russias, yet not have nerve enough to level it straight. That is why the Czar, though often under fire, has escaped so far with a whole skin. There's such divinity doth hedge a king that an assassin taking a pot shot at him. will miss ninety-nine times out of a hundred. There has not been a king shot in Europe since Charles XII in 1718, and whether he was assassinated or not may be doubted. Two American Presidents have met their death that way, but no one — not even an American — would attribute to an American President the divinity that doth hedge a king. Unfortunately this protecting divinity, though efficient against pistol bullets forwhich astraightaim is required, isnot proof against dynamite bombs that may be flung in nervous haste and scatter death indiscriminately. Thus perished miserably the Czar's imperial father and predecessor. The dynamite bomb, it is to be feared, will be the regicide's chosen weapon in the future. To be popped at by arms of precision is nothing, — they always miss ; what the Czar really dreads is being pelted with bombs. The Czar, according to some accounts of him, is a kind-hearted ruler, with many amiable personal qualities. He may be all that, and yet the reasons for which so many of his revolutionary subjects seem bent on killing him are unfortunately intelligible enough. The. Czar engrosses in his own person all the authority of the State and all the functions of government. Practically, and as a matter of fact, he is himself very much under the government of his entourage, the knot of official persons about him ; but in theory they are nothing and he is everything. The cannibal sailor, who so much impressed Mr Scobie Mackenzie's friend, could boast For I am a cook and a captain bold, And thti mate of the Nancy brig, And a bosun' fcighb, and a midshipmite, Aud the crew of the captain's gig. — because he had eaten them all. So the Czar. He is the State and the Church, the army and the navy, the Parliament and the Ministry ; all are summed up and comprehended in his own person. It follows from this that the Russian equivalent for a change of Ministry is a change of Czar, and that the leader of the Opposition must put his no - confidence motion into .the form of a pistol shot or a dynamite bomb. At anyrate the Russians themselves seem to think so, and however much we may deplore the conclusion, I don't see how to dispute the logic of it. Sir Harry Atkinson— to take an illustration— is no doubt an upright and well-meaning man, but suppose he had contrived to swallow up Governor and Parliament, and become Czar of New Zealand; what should we do with him ? I don't say that we should shoot him, or blow him up with dynamite, but, at the very least, we should want to incarceiate him in Mount Cook prison or deport him to the Chatham Islands. Parliamentary government has its disadvantages, but it is certainly preferable to autocracy tempered by assassination. Why Mr J. C. Rrown at a time when he ought to have been in Wellington attending to his Parliamentary duties should have chosen instead to journey from one platform to another in Tuapeka, submitting himself to be roasted and basted and pilloried by his constituents, it is a little difficult to understand, save of course upon the theory quern Deus vhlt perdere, &c. What had this veteran puddler in politics to say that made it worth while to rear his front against the barbed witticisms of the country casuist? Boiled down, such of Mr J. C. Brown's speech i as was not deadly commonplace advocated

taxing a man for the cut of his coat, and the shape of his hat. "Those gentlemen," said the speaker,- " who wished to wear such . things as dress suits should be made to pay ' for them. He supposed they all knew what a dress coat was or swallowtails He himself had never worn one, and he thought those who did want to wear them should be made to pay a little extra for them. The same thing applied to black hats as well. He had one black hat for the last seven or eight years, and he only wore it on special occasions. — (Laughter). If a man would indulge on special occasions in. black hats, let him pay for it, and they should put a tax upon him, so that he would get that hat made in the country." This, although as supremely ridiculous as anything ever Mr J. C. Brown could achieve, is novel, and therefore not unwelcome. It carries with it, moreover, a lesson more or less profitable. Mr J. C. Brown, it seems, has weathered the social squalls of life so far without a dress coat, and what man has done man may do again. Here is something, though it be but a little off the tailor's bill, • of those who will go and do likewise. J. C. B. had not only weathered all squalls in. afternoon costume, but be had done the thing handsomely, and to quote his own. words, " his name still survived in England in the best societies," and "he could do things that would be of immense advantage to N,ew Zealand." This is the invitation yov/r la valse. " Join the dance with me once more," says Mr J. C. Brown to his constituents, and I will foot it as merrily as ever. I will grab for the district in the lucky loan bag as before, and my name surviving "in the best societies" at Home shall help the colony at large. In spite of the cold response of the Tuapeka electors there is some comfort in this thought. Froude maligns us in England ; the Standard periodically crunches us beneath its heel ; but while the name of J. C. Brown survives in the best societies there' is hope for the future yet. Sir Harry Atkinson and his followers, advancing in serried phalanx with the laudable intention of pounding the ensmy, have got their heads above the ridge of another parliamentary session, and, lo ! they found that there is no enemy to pound. The ranks of the Opposition are broken " like thin clouds before a Biscay gale," and their leaders are, from choice or necessity, elsewhere minding their own business. Of the late Government one only remains in evidence in the House of Representatives — viz., Mr Ballance, and he is no longer of the party, having gone into solitary training for the purpose of getting the taint of Vogelism out of his blood. Sir Robert Stout and Mr Tole are enjoying learned leisure among their law books ; Sir Julius Vogel has gone in for descriptive geography as one of the commodities the age wants and .is willing to pay for; and Mr Larnach has drifted over to the land of the golden fleece. Consequently the Opposition is for the moment all tail, and will evidently wag- in but a disconcerted and balf-hearted fashion during the session. In fact at the opening passage — the Addressi in-Reply — it has neglected to wag at all, to the amazement of everybody. Regarded philosophically, however, the feebleness of the Opposition matters not a jot, since it is never the Opposition proper that has to turn out a Ministry. Every Government at the outset has a majority, or it would not be a Government ; and by a stern natural law it is compelled from time to time to alienate certain of its supporters, who forthwith throw their weight into the other scale. Presently the beam tilts, up go the Ministry, heads and heels ingloriously mingled, and their reign is over. It is an unceremonious way of giving them their conge; but it is constitutional, and is in fact the only way a Ministry will take it. With Sir H. Atkinson, as with all other teams, therefore the question is merely how long ? In>such circumstances the great maxim is to economise your friends — offend them slowly. You must offend them sooner or later, but do it as gradually as possible. "How much sympathy, intellectual and moral," asks a Daily Times reviewer, " will the clerical leaders in the threatened Salmond prosecution obtain from the body of the laity ? That remains to be seen. Our own belief is that the revolt against medieval theology has gone very far iudeed." This is a friendly way of giving the said clerical leaders a "straight tip" upon the subject. They will take nothing by their motion, of course. What did the church ever take in any age by heresy trials and excommunications 1 Nothing. Yet there is a certain sportsmanlike instinct that forbids the strictly orthodox to let heretical game of any size steal away. Dr Salmond is regarded as rather big game, and game sufficiently active and wary to make the chase exhilarating. Therefore it may be taken for granted that the friendly caution of the Daily Times will be disregarded by the keen-scented section of the clergy. The Times as much as says that Dr Salmond's opinions will be received by the laity with a subdued chorus of, "So say all ' of us," but that will in no wise deter the prosecutors, from having a word or two with the doctor. The dialogue may be expected to take some- ! thing like ,the following shape: — The Doctor : " I hold the larger hope." The Prosecutors : " But, my dear sir, you mustn't do anything of the sort. We can't allow it." The Doctor : " But I 'do. A man can't help hoping. I hope ; and my hope is larger in , circumference than yours." The Prosecutors : " Well, if you can't help hoping you can help expressing your hope, and we shall prosecute you for expressing it. Further, we shall take the opportunity of remarking that you acted in a highly dishonest and ungentlemanly manner in not expressing it before." The worthy professor will be left to take his change out of that. As for any clergy who, by their silence, refrain from enthusiastic approval of the the proposed proceedings, one newspaper correspondent particularly zealous in the cause, suggests that they be dealt with as " accomplices." Here, indeed, is material for a very pretty pot oouille of backbiting and bigotry. It is obviously a case of diamond cut diamond between the would-be Chinese immigrants and the Victorian Government, and it will be particularly interesting to see who wins. The Government certainly for choice. On each side the earlier moves in

the game have been pretty. The Afghan, it appears, by .Her tonnage was only entitled to bring 14 Chinese, arid she brought hundreds. One point scored by the Victorian Government, and the captain warned that he will be proceeded against on that indictment if he attempts to land bis passengers. To this reply is made that the superfluous Chinese are not Chinese at all, but Britishers, being all duly supplied with naturalisation papers. One point to the Celestials. At the next move the' Government board the vessel and examine the said documents, discovering at once the reason for the rush there has been on them of late for naturalisation papers. All the documents examined were clean and new, none of the holders could speak a word of English, or bore any outward and visible. signs of ever having been resident in the colony. They had received the papers by post from brethren domiciled in Victoria. " For ways that are dark and tricks that are vain," &c. The Government refuse , to recognise papers in consequence, and score the second point. Following this, the Afghan's captain steams alongside the Melbourne wharf, prohibition notwithstanding, whereupon the Government still refuse the right of landing to his human cargo, and euchre him again. Both parties, warming to their work, are now getting nasty and evidently mean business. Meanwhile the captains of two other steamers decline to risk massacre by forcibly taking shiploads of disappointed and infuriated Chinese back to the flowery land, and appeal to the English Admiral for naval protection. The most feasible plan, as I suggested last week, is for the skippers to drop their passengers gently overboard (supplied with lifebelts of course) and leave them to effect a landing for themselves by • the guidance of Providence and the kind permission of the sharks. Even those loudest in their determination to have " Australia for the Australians" may hesitate before driving the visitors forcibly back into the sea. A correspondent, who writes from Wellington, thinks that the Dunedin press has missed the moral of the D'Albedhyll case, which moral he obligingly points out for our benefit. And a remarkable moral it is. Hear him : Insist upon knowing your future wife or husband's moral and physical historybefore anything. I advise all young men particularly to have in writing a document from his intended wife in her own writing as to whether she was ever married or no, or if a widow. This precaution would prevent fraud, and also being told 20 years after marriage that your wife perhaps is not legally yours. There is perhaps half a column more to the same effect, with a particular saution against marrying " any girl out of a family who have lost their mother in early years," for this reason, that "girls who have lost their mother get into a way of wheedling their father by all sorts of tricks, which they afterwards practise upon their husbands ; and in fact they cannot get out of them." Here, verily, are words of wisdom ! The reckless haste with which young men in the present day rush into wedlock is notorious ; and they do it, it seems, without even pausing, to inquire whether the girls they marry are maids or widows. Now, is this right 1 The true foundation of domestic bliss, O impetuous youth I madly eager to thrust your neck irrevocably into the hymeneal noose, is a document in your girl's own handwriting certifying you whether she was ever married before or no, "or if a widow." It is sad to think that this obvious "moral of the D'Albedhyll case" needed to'.be sent to us all the way from Wellington, and that in ignorance of it young men all around us are every day plunging into matrimony with their eyes shut. In the case of some of us the warning comes too late — years too late. All that is possible to us now is to restrain the matrimonial ardour of our sons, and to see that our daughters provide themselves with the necessary "document." Let us all lay to heart the "moral" from Wellington; then will the dyspeptic D'Albedhylls not have squabbled in vain nor Mr Brunton poked his nose into other people's business for naught. CiVIS.

In the Legislative Council on Wednesday a number of new bills were introduced, and the debate on the Address-in-Reply concluded. In the House of Representatives the Premier stated that he would probably be able to indicate on Wednesday when the Financial and Public Works Statements could be brought down. A debate took place on the question of collecting for charitable aid purposes 2 per cent, on /the earnings of totalisators, but it was not concluded. In the evening a bill to repeal last session's Loan Act and a new Loan BUI to replace it were read a first time Mr Pyke had an easy and overwhelming victory on Wednesday with his Otago Central Bill. There was indeed hardly any debate on it. Mr J. M'Kenzie opposed, and Major Steward urged that the connection of Oamaru with the line should not be lost sight of. The second reading was then carried by 52 to 12. A question then arose on the [Speaker's announcing that the bill must go to the Waste Land Committee. Mr Pyke contended that was quite a new proceeding, and that the Midland Bill had not been so referred, to which Mr G. P. Richardson answered that;that was a Governmentbill. Mr Pyke then gave way under protest, and the order of reference was made. Mr Hobbs was not successful, with his little bill to construct the Eamo railway. The new Loan Bill, introduced by message o n Wednesday, does not contain the provision against any further borrowing for three years which appeared in this act of last session. Our Reefton correspondent telegraphs that news has reached there that Mr D. J. M'Kenna, a former resident of Reefton, has been fortunate enough to make £100,000 in land and mining speculations at Broken Hill. The takings at the football match on Saturday last between the English team and one from Wellington amounted to £298, and at Monday's match £105, making a total of £403, of which Messrs Lillywhite and Shrewsbury take 80 per cent. At a meeting of tradesmen in Ohristchurch, at which the principal firms in town were represented, it was decided not to give in future goods as donations to bazaars. It was asserted that their businesses are greatly injured by the managers of bazaars selling below current rates the goods obtained from tradesmen. In the Appeal Court last week the appeal in the case of Daniel v. the Lake County Council was allowed with costs, the Chief Justice dissenting. At the Upper Shotover Branches, according to our Arrowtown correspondent, bread is Is

a loaf and nobblere is each. ', Here indeed iP a case erf. history repeating 'itself. ' It was generally imagined that when the .Nevis, some years ago, adopted' modern notions "and-re-duced the price of nobblers to 6d, the district would retain' -for all timethe honour and glory of being the last place in Otago on which the shade of this relic pf early diggings days would rest;' but the improbable has again happened, and the Shotover district has entered the lists in competition for the doubtful honour. ■ James Skinner Gordon, formerly a bank olerk on the West Coast, was on Tuesday committed for trial at Oamaru for forging a cheque for £12. He had.been previously convioted of passing a valueless cheque there. The Auckland Ratepayers' Association recom-' mend reductions in the corporation's officials and salaries to effect a. saving -of- over. £1500 yearly. These include the abolition of the city engineer's department, and .of the waterworks engineer and city surveyor. , An accident, accompanied by rather extraordinary circumstances, happened (says the Christchurch Press) to two men, named Stewart, and Reynolds, on Saturday evening, which had a fortunate termination. They left Sheffield at dusk for Glen tunnel, by the road through the hills. Owing to the thick, misty atmosphere, they missed the road in the Hawkins,' and travelled for some little distance up the river bed, when the trap upset, pinning Mr Reynolds to the ground by the leg. His companion seems to have got confused or partially stunned, as after wandering about for several hours, he turned up at Sheffield and went to bed. On Sunday morning, about half-past 10,. Reynolds was found by a. lad named Pearson, and was released after spending about 17 hours in his uncomfortable position, and with the exoepticm of his limb being numbed, appearing very little worse for his exposure. Dr Copland, formerly pastor of the Lawrence and North Dunedin Presbyterian churches, but who has for some years past been practising as an M.D., has found it to his advantage to leave the city and take up his residence in Gore, where an excellent opening presented itself through the removal of Dr Cottew to the North Island. One of the earliest settlers of the New Plymouth district, Mrs F. A. Carrington, died at New Plymouth on Monday night. Mrs Carrington, who has been an invalid for many years, came to the colony with her' husband in 1840. The late Mr Moody, who was drowned at? Pig Hunting creek, near Timnru, was about 50 years of age, and a natjve of Scotland, He came to the colony as general manager of the New Zealand Meat Preserving Company, whose works are at Washdyke and Kakanui. This position he relinquished to enter business in Timaru. He had ' been chairman of the Harbour Board, aud was also a member of the Geraldine County Council. He leaves a wife and family. It has been decided to retain the services of Mr J. P. Bell, the chief clerk of the Police department in Dunedin. Another old public servant, Mr W. B. Harlow, of the Lands department, is the latest victim of the retrenchment proposals, as he has received notice , that at the end of this month his services will be dispensed with. Mr John M'Eenzic, M.H.Ri, has resigned his seat en the Otago Land Board. According to the Tapanui Courier, there ; s plenty demand for land for cropping, despite the low prices ruling for grain, and consequently land-owners are asking stiff prices for the right to crop their soil. , The Riverton correspondent of the Southland News vouches for the statement that a party of Chinese at Round Hill took out, during twelve months, gold to the value of £4000, securing in one week alone £234. He also stated that one of them at least has not at the present time £10, the money having been sent to China. Mr A. Simpson, manager of the National Bank at Outram, having been transferred to the North Island, was entertained at dinner on Tuesday evening, Mr W. Snow presiding. General regret was expressed at the change, and it was intimated that a memento of the esteem in which Mr Simpson is held would be sent after him. Mr Robertson succeeds Mr Simpson. Mr Murphy, the energetic secretary of the Canterbury Agricultural and Pastoral Association, has had reprinted in pamphlet form a paper which he contributed to the New Zealand Country Journal on dairy factories' and their influence on farm economy. Mr Murphy notes it as a curious fact that during the past 20 years butter is perhaps the only product of the farm which has not fallen in price. It is proposed in Canterbury to go in for a oentral factory olo'se. to Christchurch capable of manipulating the cream of from 1800 to, 2000 cows, with creameries in each district having 300 cows, and not too remote from a railway station. It is evident that for an export trade where'uniformity of quality is essential this method has every advantage in its favour; while 1 for the local trade its superiority over ' scattered creameries must be a£once patent. A test of some stuff taken from the Brpken Hill (Maritoto) mine, made by Mr Pond of Auckland, results in nothing being found in it. A company has actually been formed in Sydney with a capital of £85,000 to' work ,this mine. The company was floated on the strength of reports that the stuff from the mine yielded lOOoz to 800oz to the ton . In the latest test made, at the instance of the warden, 'not a grain of bullion was got.