PASSING NOTES.

Otago Witness, Issue 1874, 21 October 1887, Page 20

PASSING NOTES.

The House has risen, but Ministers are ||| " sitting," and the country awaits in some §|| anxiety the result. A process of incubation mm presupposes eggs, but it is not indispensable f|| that the brooding bird should have laid them ||| herself. Guided by this principle of farm- W£ yard economy, the Ministry in preparing to H| " sit " have hunted far and vv ide for eggs, ex- MS ploring in the quest every nest within their B| reach, and a delightfully heterogeneous H collection they must have made ! Says the BE? Wellington Post: "Ministers are busily m engaged in collecting, perusing, and collat- R| ing all the election speeches of the gentle- Hj men who now form the House of Repre- m sentatives. This interesting study is H undertaken for the purpose of finding E| out what reform each member has pledged g| himself to support, and what changes he tm is prepared to advocate or determined to K| oppose." Let us believe this provisionally; Ef we may reject the story with derision in the Eg end,— for the moment we may allow to »« Bg at least an air of probability. Did not Mr W Gladstone, on a celebrated occasion, when || about to incubate his Home Rule policy tor g| Ireland, invite contributions of opinion ana «i advice by letter from mankind at arge i mm Why should not Major Atkinson, following n and improving upon this illustrious preceded, m piece together a policy out of hon. members » election speeches ? To put it another war- Kg Suppose the case of a barndoor fowl. Donna w by the fates, under penalty of suffl- H mary neck- wringing: for default, to W H duce a brood of living chicks by a pren n day. Suppose such barndoor fowl to w H effete, or immature, or for any reason dUJ- H dent of her own fecundity. Is there a»f H

thing in the moral code of the barn yard which would make it unlawful for her to steal from the nests of other fowls the eggs she could not lay ? I trow not. Particularly do I trow not when the barn yard is a colonial legislature. The Ministerial hen — a simile to which I am irresistibly driven by the nature of the subject — the Ministerial hen, I repeat, is permitted by current Parliamentary morality to beg, borrow, or steal her eggs whence and wherever she can. Nevertheless the hatching out must be highly problematical. Some of the egga will be aged, some already addled by the inefficient «• sitting "of the original owners ; some, alas I will turn out to be no eggs at all, but base pottery imitations. A motley brood the chicks will be!— family likeness wanting; it may be some of them even ducklings. Moral : Eclecticism in politics has its perils. To possess a homogeneous policy,, one and indivisible, a Ministry must evolve it as the silkworm her thread — out of their own bowels.

We have heard much at one time or other of political railways. In reality all our railways arc political railways, though the fact perhaps is not generally known. Here is an illustrative incident, quite recent, which 1 have at first hand. A Christchurch merchant bought in North Canterbury a quantity of grain to be delivered in Oamaru. He ascertained that the carriage by rail to Lyttelton, thence by steamer to Oamaru, with charges added for twice handling in the two ports and marine insurance, would be 7d a ton less than the freight by rail direct. This fact he laid before the railway authorities, and requested a special rate. The grain, he pointed out, would be,loaded at the seller's private siding without cost to the railway, and would bo similarly unloaded at the buyer's private siding near Oamaru. The railway would provide haulage only, and might send down two or three trucks at a time, suiting its convenience, and spreading the job over a month or six weeks. The amount of freight involved was £300. Would the department grant a special rate ? Not a bit of it. The j difference wauld be only £10, but the Minister replied from Wellington that the grain rates were as the laws of the Modes and Persians, consequently the £300 of freight money must be refused. The grain went to Oamaru by sea. Later, the merchant ran against the Minister for Railways in Christohurch. "Why did you refuse my money on that grain contract 1" he asked. " Couldn't help it," said the Minister; "those Oamaru people have borrowed and spent a mint of money on their breakwater, and if we worked the railways so as to lessen their harbour dues and wharfage rates we should never hear the end of it." Whence it appears that the Main Trunk line is as strictly a political railway as the West Coast line itself. This romantic contempt for business principles in tbe management of the national property suits ill our present impoverishment. The Ministry are ransacking the election speeches of hon. members in quest of ideas. Surely in some of them they will come upon the idea of a non-political board of management for the railways. Let them roll that egg into the Ministerial nest and assiduously hatch It out.

Mr Joe Thompson, the bookmaker, who in sporting circles is revered as the " The Leviathan" and "The King of the Ring," has confided to an Australian editor some of his ideas on the subject of betting. Mr Thompson dislikes the totalisator, is severe on sweeps, and waxes indignant at the small fry of his profession who, by the laxity of racing club law, are permitted the privilege of " crying the odds in a paddock " for the trivial subscription of a " pony," or £25. This is natural. " The Leviathan " likes big betting; he lives by big betting, and a remarkably good living he makes by it. Not much under £10,000 a year, say the knowing ones, are the outgoings of Joe's princely home establishment. How is the King of the Ring to keep up his state if bets degenerate into £1 stakes in totalisators and sweeps? Joe professes himself "heartbroken " at the course things are taking — partly because of his personal wrongs, partly because of the wrong done the public. For, observe, small bets do not mean a smaller amount of betting ; quite the contrary. The gambling mania spreads and grows with the increase of facilities for investing small sums. " The Leviathan " defends big betting as the luxury of " people who can afford it." But hear him on the immorality of sweeps and totalisators : " Look at the sweeps," he says ; " how many men went stark starving broke over them ; and then the totalisator, which induced clerks, mechanics, and all sorts of peor people to risk their money. Why, in Adelaide, where they faad it in full swing, there was fcill-robbing goiusr on right and left, and it got more people into trouble and gaol than it is possible to estimate. Such a little amount is necessary that everybody has a try at it, and they go on and on with it to an awful extent. In South Australia it increased in such a way that it went up from £500 a day to over £40,000 on a single meeting, and, mind you, this represented only the earnings of poor people." Mr Thompson is a not altogether disinterested witness, but he knows his subject, and can hardly open his lips upon it at all without saying ■ something that the too-gullible public may do well to lifiten to.

Invited to say how much in the gross Australasian betting might be thought to amount to annually, the great bookmaker "was "dazed with the magnitude of the question, and became quite enthusiastic as he proceeded to think the answer out. At last it came: "You can put down £20,000,000, and say that you are well under the estimate." This alarming total the editor .enlarges to £30,000,000, and justifies the calculation by two columns and a-half of facts and figures. Twenty millions or thirty millions, what does it matter? The terms elude comprehension, and leave in one's rnuid only the impression of preposterous bigness and wicked excess. More easily grasped by the limited human reason is the fact that *he New Zealand totalisator returns ior last year foot up to £500,000— the amount of the education vote. And yet we ■are still groping helplessly in search of the "'•causes of the depression " ! Mr Joe Thompson exults in the bigness of his totals, and thinks that it is all " good for trade," Betting >

depends on racing, and racing means the circulating of money amongst tradespeople of all sorts. Every year there are 50,000 women who dress for the Cup, he remarks with pride, and every one of them carries £10 on her back. Isn't that an excellent thing for the drapers and softgoods men? he asks. Mr Thompson's political economy is evidently of the hazy sort that suits one who neither toils nor spins, but belongs to the class decribedby Horace as nati consumere frwjez. I am afraid he never studied for examination purposes Mill's celebrated Fifth Theorem — " That a demand for commodities is not a demand for labour." I should hardly care to attempt the exposition of that pretty paradox myself just now, though a time has been, ice, &c. — in fact, I retain a distinct and somewhat painful recollection of haying been required, once upon a time, to demonstrate it to the satisfaction of the late Professor Jevons. But let that pass. The point I wish to emphasise is tha.t wasteful expenditure is not good for trade. If Mill's theorem is sound, the half-million spent annually in Cup dresses might, with equal advantage to the wealth of the country, be cast into the sea.

War clouds have gathered on the political horizon, the tocsin has sounded, a day of dreadful battle is at hand. One small phrase has been whispered which, if it gains volume but a little, will shake civilisation (in Otago at least) to its very centre, and prostrate with apoplexy every surviving " old identity" amongst us. That little phrase is " nationalisation of the reserves." Now is the time for the reverend fathers and brothers of the Presbyterian Synod to dig up and sharpen their tomahawks, now is the time for School Commissioners and University Councillors to perspire and grow exceedingly wroth ; for the spoliation is to be wholesale. Here is the programme sketched by the Wellington Post :— The educational reserves, whether for primary, secondary, or university education, must be colonialised, and their proceeds rendered available to support the objects for which they were given all over the colony, and not merely within certain limited areas. The same thing must be done in regard to charitable endowments; and even religious endowments require to be taken strict account of. Wellington is a province poor in reserves, and having missed even the college endowment it fought so hard for last session, it is actuated by a biotherly desire to share and share alike with its richer neighbours. The aspiration is natural, and is often encountered in various relations of life. It is encountered in the social democrat, for example, being indeed the keynote of his faith. But before this pretty scheme can be carried into effect, the shrieks of the richer provinces shall split the skies. What a hunting up of epithets we may expect ! " Pillage," " plunder," " piracy," " ruthless robbery," "barefaced buccaneering" — these are, after all, but feeble terms. Pity it is that Mr Scobie Mackenzie has already wasted that choice phrase "legalised band of political marauders " upon a less worthy occasion.

A statesman labouring to deliver his country who finds himself beset the while by bum bailiffs and duns is not in so bad a fix as at first sight appears. His enemies in press and Parliament jeer and clamour, but his friends, if he be popular, more than counterbalance this demonstration, and between the two his fame spreads mightily. This is the position of Sir Henry Parkes in New South Wales, who, it has just transpired, possesses £52,000 worth of liabilities but is "a little short" in the matter of assets. The enemy rages truly, but the sympathising public do better. They hold mass meetings, i agitate and subscribe (raising £1500 in the town hall at one sitting), and a general movement is to be set on foot to get Sir Henry out of his difficulties. He is to go on delivering the country, and the country will meanwhile deliver him. Probably the balance in this arrangement will incline slightly in favour of Sir Henry Parkes, which shows that it sometimes is a useful thing to be a popular statesman. On the other hand, the chief attack levelled by New South Welshmen who believe not in Parkes is contained in the statement that the Premier in constructing the Ministry has selected his chief creditors for his colleagues. If true, there would be some little reason in his complaint. A pretty thing, indeed, if Cabinet meetings could be converted into creditors' meetings, convened to sit upon an unhappy debtor in the person of the Premier. But Sir Henry Parkes explicitly denies that he is in any such predicament, and no doubt he has been libelled in the matter. The only transactions between himself and his colleagues are some simple mortgages, and we all know that mortgages are airy trifles scarcely worth a sneeze.

The experiments on the Crown Prince of Germany's threat, which were used to puff Dr Morell Mackenzie so lavishly, have, it seems, been unsuccessful after all. It is hard on Royal personages that their very maladies should serve as advertisements ; but so it was in the case of Dr Mackenzie, and the advertisement (such an advertisement placarded from end to end ef the earth) proves to have been undeserved. At the time the abasement of the whole German faculty before tbe English interloper seemed difficult to understand. Evidently the interloper " bounced " them— in a strictly professional sort of way, of course, They had diagnosed the case and were preparing to perform a most serious operation when the Mackenzie hurried across the Channel, told them that they were wrong, that he knew all about it, and proceeded to operate in his own way on his own account. The German doctors were not jealous, we were told — not in the least. They stood by, spectacles on nose, wondering at and admiring the Mackenzie's skill and assurance. Then they pocketed their surgical instruments and went humbly away, muttering, "Verily we are fools"; and the Englishman hastened to send an account of his exploit to the papers,.not forgetting to slate the amount of the fee received. Now, it seems, the malady has reappeared, and the life of one of the few respectable princes of Europe, is threatened. Fritz, the prince who has earned admiration for his bravery an,d moderation on the battle field, and bis

' domestic virtues (a commodity muoh neglected by princes as a rule), is not likely from present appearances to live to succeed his aged father. What momentous changes might this not make in Europe. We know what the death of our English Heir Apparent would mean. It would bring to the throne an arrogant boy whose conduct, unless he greatly mended his manners, might .even endanger the dynasty. Possibly Germany is in something of the same predicament. '

Archdeacon Edwards — who has a genius for the ingenuous delivery of what he thinks, whether the subject of his meditations be beer or, biers, and who, be it added, shows an unpopular tendency towards thinking sensibly — has again been declaiming against the unseemly and ostentatious methods in which man goeth to his long home, and the mourners go about the streets. He might, by-the-way, have fortified himself with the recently pronounced dictum of a still higher ecclesiastical dignitary— the Dean of York : " A costly, ostentatious funeral is considered a mark of vulgarity " — to which, however, the Archdeacon would probably reply : '• But unfortunately it isn't." Amongst the funeral blots the Archdeacon laments the want of humility and decorum exhibited in tombstone literature. This was a grievance even in the days of Charles Lamb, who used to chafe against being prematurely informed by defunct cynics, "As I am now, so you shall be." " Not so quickly, my good friend," Elia would reply to these posthumous impertinences ; " here am I, a jolly candidate for the new year ! Meanwhile your New Year's days are over." It will be remembered, too, how Charles, in guileless infancy, straying with his sister through village churchyards, would wistfully exclaim, " But, Mary, where are the bad people buried 1" Probably we are not much better or worse than our forefathers in this matter of memorial imbecility and mendacity. There is, however, one excessive development of the malady from which we appear to be comparatively free in New Zealand as opposed to " the other side." I refer to the irrelevant remarks and unblushing eulogiums which are so often to be found throughout newspaper obituary columns — in the Argus, for instance. Take up a copy of that aristocratic journal, and ten to one. you will find, after a notice of inevitable mortality, some such observation as these: — " One angel more in heaven " ; "We shall see her no more "; " Our dear little Annie; " Shall we meet beyond the river?" " Gone, but not forgotten." It is devoutly to be trusted that this virulent epidemic may never be allowed to land at tbe Bluff. It is barely tolerable on the tombstone, but to have it with one's breakfast in the morning paper is beyond the limit.

Before leaving the magnetic subject of tombstones and mortuary inscriptions, I will take the liberty of quoting two or three specimens of this fascinating lore recently culled from a Home paper. The first combines with the sentiments of inconsolable grief the businesslike duty of a funeral advertisement (a duty which the archdeacon thinks we could dispense with) : — She was such a little serapb, that her father (who is sheriff) Really doesn't seem to care if he ne'er smilea in life again. She is gone, we hope, to Heaven, at the early age of seven (Funeral starts at 11), where she'll never more have pain. Mind, I don't say I got that from the obituary column of a Home paper; it was merely quoted, and probably had its origin in the perverted ingenuity of some hopeless jokester. My second offering has a more circumstantial nativity. There is at present a doctor awaiting trial in Ireland for the murder of the wife of his bosom, and this is what he wrote to a friend on the day of her interment— presumably anterior to his arrest. "I had dear Emma's and other friends' wreaths buried with her. Those of our acquaintances were laid on her grave, which received her not a moment too soon, as the weather was very close. Carriage and pair to carry her to her last (I feel sure, heavenly) home." That medical sorrower will be acquitted by a compassionate and discerning jury of his fellow Irishmen. Another interesting example (final for the present) of tombstone literature is one quoted in a recent Saturday Review from a graveyard "at Launceston in Tasmania " : — Beneath this rustic pile of stones Lie the remains of Mary Jones. Her name was Lloyd ; it was not Jones ; But Jones was put to rhyme with stones. Apocryphal, this, I fancy. For the locus in quo, "Launceston in Tasmania" is given because inaccessible to sceptical readers. If the Saturday Keviewer had thought of it, he would just as soon have said " at Dunedin in New Zealand."

A letter was received from Dr Roberts at the meeting of the Hospital Trustees on Wednesday, intimating that he intended to resign his position as house surgeon at the end of the year. The resignation was accepted with regret, and the trustees decided to convey to him in writing their high appreciation of the manner in which he had discharged his duties. The Tuapeka Times reports that a petition is being prepared by fruitgrowers and others in the interior urging the Government to grant them some protection. The petition shows the number of persons which the industry directly benefits, the area of land devoted to frnit culture, the number of holdings and trees thereon, and a variety of other useful information. About Coal Creek alone there is something like 50 acres devoted to fruitgrowing, the number of bearing trees being 11,500, and in addition to this there are 9000 nursery trees not yet planted out. There are also in the same district; 10 conservatories for the nursing of grapes— a branch of the industry which is receiving incr.*.i«-t?d attention of late, and which promises to be fairly profitable. The wife of one of the oldest settlers on the Tokomairiro plain, Mrs C. Falconer, died in the Dunedin Hospital on Sunday. At Wednesday's meeting of the Benovelent Trustees Mr James Gray, of Tokomairiro, Tyrote stating that John Holmes, whose family was getting aid from the Benevolent Institution, died in the Dunedin Hospital last week He understood that the deceased's life was insured for £200, and it was rumoured that after his lawful debts had been paid the balance of the money would go to the young widow. Holmes had only been

married she months, and at the time of his death he left five helpless children by a former marriage. He (Mr Taylor) thought the trustees had a claim on the money left by, Holmes, as he was sure that the children would be handed over to them sooner or later. — The secretary was instructed to make farther inquiries about the matter. The Agnews are once more before the public, this time in the form of applicants for relief from the Benevolent Trustees. On the application being read, the Chairman intimated that Mr Agnew complained of not being able to get any work to do, but the Public Works department said that they had offered him work at Mullocky Guliy. Mr Agnew, however, would not work there as he had chilblains. Mr Agnew said the reason he did not continue to work at Mullocky Gully was that he was not given full measurement for what he did. The Chairman explained that Mr Agnew did not like piece work, but preferred to have a certainty of so much per day. He then went on to state that Mr Agnew possessed 400 acres of land in the Blaekstoue district, when Mrs Agnew interrupted him by saying: We are not able to stay on the laud. If we could get a mortgage on it we would go back on it this minute. But now we want employment. Mr Agnew: We would not ask for relief at all, but the Government have stopped us from getting employment. The Chairman : But you were offered work, Mr Agnew: It is piece work, and they won't give full measurement. The applicants were then requested to withdraw. The Chairman said the trustees should not be directed in this matter by the fact that Mr Aguew suffered from chilblains. Neither Mr nor Mrs Agnew were in immediate distress, and about 20 influential people in town had spoken to him (the chairman) about the gross impropriety of giving money to them. He quite agreed with that view, and could not possibly see how the trustees could make it out to be their duty to give the applicants money when they had 400 acres of land quite unencumbered. Mr Carroll: That land represents no value to them ; they cannot make anything on it. Mr Calder moved— "That the applicants be granted 5s for one week, and that they be informpd that the trustees cannot do any more for them." Mr Carroll seconded the motion, which was carried, when the Chairman observed : kl I cannot help saying that I disagree with your decision very strongly." While sinking an artesian well on Mr J. C. Crawford's property at Miramira an escape of gas was discovered, and upon a light being applied the gas ignited. Two bottles of gas have been forwarded to Sir James Hector for analysis. At a public meeting held at Little River, Akaroa, a strong committee was appointed to obtain funds for a presentation to be made to George Robertson, the well-kuown wrestler and athlete, m recognition of his assistance and courage in arresting Nils Jacobson, ia connection with the recent tragedy, and also as a further mark of appreciation of his great bravery in saving life on many other occasions. A peculiarity in connection with the retrenching crisis through which the colony is passing will be found in the attitude taken up by the Wellington papers. While advocating retrenchment in other parts of the colony, they are careful to point out that it would be a monstrous injustice to dock the salaries of the civil servants to any appreciable extent. Their effusive patriotism urges them to advocate the shedding of the last drop of their brother's blood. They want everybody retrenched but themselves. The New Zealand Times, it is true, expresses the opinion that the Ministerial residences should be sold, but this is about the length it goes in the retrenching line so far as Wellington is concerned.

A correction for tbe advertisement in reference to the entire horse British Lion arrived too late for attention thiß week. Thepotion to ba corrected should read :— " Good paddock at 2b lid ppr week provided for mares from a distance. All caretakon, but no responsibility." Messrs D. Reid and Co. will hold a clearing sale at Mr Robert Kellas' farm, Hooper's Inlet, on the 27th tasfc. The Welsh pony stallion Young Tarn o' Shanror will stand this season at the Cnmp PVirm, Pcniu- , snla. Mr F. Holtje announces a reduction in the price of poudrette manure to £3 10s per ton.; The firm of Loraas and Struthers has been dissolved, and will in future be carried on byLomas andFrazer. Entries for salt butter for the forthcoming bliow of the Otago Agricultural and Pastoral Society must lie made, and the butter deposited, ou or butore Wednesday, 26th October. Braxton farm, Southland, is to let on lease. A partner in a blacksmith and wheelwright business in South Canterbury is advertised for. Miners in Benrch of an investment will find an advertisement of interest in another column. Shearing will commence at Teviot station on the 17th November, to be followed by Mon Flat station. The Clyesdale entire Sir Arthur Gordon, and the trotting stallion Mystic, will stand this season at Glndbrook. The Opunake Dairy Factory Company are advertising for a buttermaker.